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Having erectile function can be very devastating for a man. It is one of the defining themes of his manhood.
Before anything else is done, he needs to talk to his physician who will be very happy to give him and ED medication: Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra.
This will make a difference in his entire attitude when he feels his masculine power return. He will spring out of his rut and this will make a big difference.
He says he has fallen out of love with you because he is in denial about his own natural reduction in sexual prowess. Rather than blame himself, he is blaming you.
He is depressed,and when you are depressed you cannot love anyone.
When you are depressed you have low energy, low self-esteem, sleeping and eating habits change, you become irritable, you lose interest in things and others, even loved ones.
This depression, you might call mid-life crisis. Perhaps his income is down like the rest of us. His ED may be the biggest and most crushing of his stressors.
Give him patience, try the ED meds, and work with him to keep this marriage going.
That is the best direction for you now.
I shall keep you both in my prayers.
will his depression gradually lift on it's own because he denies everything he refuses to see a doctor because he feels there is no need,i'm just so afraid i'v lost him for good