Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
This is a very unhealthy family situation in which you have fallen into.
It is a bit of a vipers' den or snake-pit that you have fallen into and you will always be in the position in which you have already been caste.
There will be no change until this man deals with his daughter's unnatural influence over his his life.
There is no place for you in this relationship.
You will never get between them. There is no reason to cope with this relationship. You will never me happy being treated with contempt from the girl and disrespect from the man.
I see no fix to this other than to exist graciously.
He is not the right man for you, or any other woman. except for mother and daughter.
does not want to be with the Mother he has a younger daughter also by another woman. this daughter is an adult,
So is this acceptable then? He lives with his mother and daughter.
Do you see any sign of change?
Do you see that you will be put first?
I know how upsetting this is to you and that you are looking for glimmers of hope that you can change this around.
Professionally, I do not see any way to cause change other than leaving graciously. If you are worth it then he will do what it takes to hold on to you. If he doesn't, then you will know his priorities, or his weakness.
I feel your pain and frustration. It is not just or right, but it is what the situation is showing you.
You could ask him to go to therapy with you, and he might agree, but it is a long shot.
The daughter fears losing her father, and the father fears losing his daughter. It may very well stem from the end of the previous relationship.
What are your instincts telling you to do?
I know that this is difficult for you.
Can you share your thoughts with me? I want to help you find some guidance from within you.
Are you looking for some advice that is more hopeful?
You are not able to respond right now. I shall wait for 5 more minutes and if I do not hear from you I will switch to Q & A mode from which you can get back to me later if you wish. I have given you a very professional answer that you may not have liked to hear, but it is based on years of experience.