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I believe that I can help.
You have described your situation quite articulately.
It is a difficult one that has evolved over many years.
so what do I do now?
What do YOU see as your options?
I would like it to work but what the hell did I do to deserve this? I'm lost right now. What have others done in this situation?
There are two options that I see.
One is to go to a marriage and family counselor, particularly one that is ALSO a sex-therapist.
You can find a list by going to the following site, and clicking your state on the map that comes up, bringing up a list.
AASECT - Member Directory
I cannot believe she read 50 shades of grey and then talks to everyone on Christmas how good it was. Right in front of me. I feel like a piece of crap
The other one is telling her, if she will not work on this, that you want to separate or divorce.
What do you mean the "she read 50 shades of grey">?
She read the book 50 Shades of Grey which is very erotic and discussed it with some family members and it hurts me to know she evidently has some sort of sex drive to read this but I am not allowed any sex
Will she go to a therapist with you?
we have in the past...about 10 yrs. ago...but only if I pay. Never been to a sex therapist and I really doubt she would go there. She doesn't think there is a problem......that is what puzzles me.
Is divorce an option?
The only other one is endure this for the rest of your life or until you have had enough.
divorce....wow...I guess I should weigh that one more...I don't know. My next and probably last ? is why is she doing this?
Because she does not love you and resents being married to you.
She probably has plenty of fantasies without you. It is possible that she fools around while you are gone (or were gone 12 hours a day)?