I have been married 31 years.June 2012 my husband went to a gun show over two hundred miles away. He collapsed and EMTs were call he was naked in bed with a 21 yr old he is 62 and his equiptment hasn't worked for 5 years.He ended up in the hospital and my son and I had to go get him.I was introduced to his friend the morning nwe arrived.
Needless to say we had a row.I turned in to a detective I never thought he would do this!
He had been logging in on 5 online dating sites since 01/2012. I thought the 21 yr old was over. Oh no he had been calling her 3 or 4 times a day and had snuck off 3 times. He opened a joint account for him and her. He bought her 1100.00 worth of clothes to wear to the nursing school he had also paid for. He went into the hospital again thats when I found out about the credit card and school.I cancelled the card but since it was joint she got another one and charge over 1300.00 of clothes again. Time it was all over he has spent over 5,000.00 on her. Then she changed her number and he cannot find her not for lack of trying. I also found where he had been contacting women in our own town metting for fun.
We are going to a marriage counselor he chose.He does want a divorce because he doesn't feel he did
anything wrong he was just helping some one in need. My question is why hide it? Anyway the marriage counseler told me that when men have been married 30 or so year sometimes they do this to boost their ego. I asked "well what about the wives what do we get out of it, I don't know how your marriage vows were worded but no where in mine it said I had to pump sunshine up his ass to boost his ego."
I had asked my husband how would you feel if a 62 year old woman came sniffing around our 21 year old son? A woman 41 years his senior.
Needless to say I do not trust him!!!!! But I suggested a Post Nuptial Agreement if he does anything that looks like infidelity emotional or physical, he will keep his checking account , his vehicle, his clothes,hat collection and gun collection and sign divorce papers. My lawyer said he will not sign it but if he does not then I do not feel there is a basis for this marriage.
When I go I want to feel I have done everything I could to salvage 31 years of marrige.
Do you see any hope or am I wishful thinking?