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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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i suffer with severe mistrust and insecurity issues in my relationship,

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i suffer with severe mistrust and insecurity issues in my relationship, after two years we have broken up more times than i can remeber, worst of all shes done nothing wrong. certain situations trigger me off, i am in utter disppair at my self. why cant i be normal and not get these attacks in my head. my ex wife cheated through out my 22 yr marriage , am i bring all my baggage into this relationship? i cant help it .
It is possible that the baggage from your last relationship is flowing into your relationships now. When people are cheated on they can have the residual effects that lead to such problems later. This happens when the damage you suffered is not resolved and exists under the surface. You have to resolve that damage. You can take the traditional route and see not a psychiatrist but simply a counselor so that you work through such baggage. If not then you are left with self help where you can work on this yourself. If you think this has led to some self esteem issues then there is plenty of material on the market. Otherwise you are free to explore cheating and how it effects the behavior. Or you could work on communication in the relationship which is the largest problem in this situation. The Mars and Venus series is excellent. The best cure for this issue is communication. When you are feeling insecure your mate and you could establish a code word where she knows that a situation is making you feel insecure. Work on this together rather by yourself.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
we are in the middle of yet another split due to my errational behaviour xnas day, she has basicly said deal with it i cant help you! it just is making the whole situation worse not better.
I agree. If she avoids she is not helping the relationship. However give her a little time to get past the last event. She may just be isolating. People do this who have poor communication. Work on your end on communication to take up the time. There is a great resource in this area - the Mars and Venus series. Give her a few days to calm down and get over her intense feelings. Then revisit.
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