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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi for steve olsen, i have been having some concerns over

Customer Question

hi for steve olsen,

i have been having some concerns over a few things.
one i have been sleeping downstairs since the arrival of the baby. at 1st i didnt wnat to be downstairs not with kate or my husband etc. now.. im kinda like.. i dont want to go back. i havent slept in my own bed now since before the hurricane. so its about 2 months. one reason i know is that andrew couldnt co sleep with me. he kinda co sleeps with me now - he on his boppy pillow and im sleeping next to him.

another is i feel like i dont hold andrew enough. i have been bottle propping out of necessity. not everytime, but enough. i never bottle propped with kate and i feel guilty but know like ok kat e needs me. or i have to get u s out the door to the dr. or soem other excuse.
also this am i may have been wrong or stirred the pot but kate asked if i could put andrew down and i said yes.. i then asked her if she liked it better before andrew and she said yeah i liked my mommy and daddy. since shes 2, i dont know if it just meant i liked them to myself, or i liked them since they were nicer to me and dint scream at me every minute of he day.

ive also been nervous about returning to work..

as far as smart kids not sleeping, well then kates def a freaking genuis if thats true (and i always had insomnia as a child.. for yrs id be up half the night. bored. not allowed to watch tv and i only was allowed a new book so often.)
i just figured if kates not interested or bored of her toys, she then goes exploring and gets into trouble...

eesh about your xmas salisbury steak. i shud send some of my family ovr there so they can see how much work i go thru. i do the whole italian dinner with antipasta plus puff pastry ho r devors and manicotti and sauce plus meatball sausage and bracciole... i wud then after that make a whole second course. this was tradition it was either cornish game hen or turkey or poultry of some sort, and no one ate. so i stopped making it the yr i was preg with kate. and ironically my dad was the one to complain. and he still does. i had rob tell everyone get ready for the ham this yre and everyone seemed surprised and then he said kidding...

my bil is an asshole. and he talks like that to my fil. i feel like he has an oedipal complex that he wants the father to die so he can have the mother all to himself. he works part time, wont learn to drive, wont move out, doesnt date.. makes demands on my mil like oh you need to put up the full xmas tree even though shes too tired or whatnot.. he throws full on temper tantrums. hes a jerk.

and no text at all from tmm today.
i have to see the ob gyn today and andrew went to peds yest. he grew 3/4 of an inch and the ped said he has reflux. im to cut him back on formula at a time and hold him up for 30 min after he eats and see if that all helps plus the sensitive formula...
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I am the Moderator for this topic. Steve Olsen is not available right now, but I have sent him a message to follow up with you here, when he comes back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience!

Camille

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Certain feelings and experiences are very normal with the birth of a second child. One is the uncertainty over returning to your own bed and prior sleeping arrangements which many parents have. (I know we did have this issue a bit as well.)

 

As this is still a pretty stressful and new time with Andrew I would suggest that you put any demand on yourself to go back to your own bed off until at least the 3rd week of January. That may seem like a long time, but emotionally you need it to recover and adjust. Rushing yourself back after you had a routine established is not a good idea. Andrew will adjust to a new pattern actually at his young age a lot faster than even you might. So, do not worry about its effects on him. Plus you have him on the boppy pillow which is sort of like the best of both worlds as he has you near but then he has his own space. He will transition much easier as a result.

 

Bottle propping. Hey, I teach human development and I can quote you the theory almost word for word about human bonding, etc.So I can say with gusto: XXXXX XXXXX as a damaging thing? Not as you are doing it; no way; no how.

Why not? You do not do it all the time, only when exhausted, and I will tell you that if propping damages children then my #2 and #3 are really a mess as I did that with them just to keep my sanity. It is okay if you do it when you have to and not all the time. Love is expressed in how you are and how you touch. It does not have to be all the time but when it is needed, such as when he is freaking out because he is hurt or scared or cold...then, that closeness is key. But occasional use (2-3x a day), not an issue.

 

Kate: Kate is totally normal. It would be unusual for her to say that she loves it now with Andrew on the scene. Heck, from an adult perspective the boy ruined her life! lol

 

Seriously, she is naturally resentful of him and that is a part of this removal from #1 that she is experiencing. Plus with a second child the #1 gets in trouble a lot more; hears more yelling and generally sees the world they knew go to pot. But this is good. Kate will adjust and right about when you go back into your bed she can go into hers. (Too much right now as this is a strain you do not need...Of course she will hate it. But the timing is right and it is like taking the bad medicine all at one time instead of in small doses. It is easier for all involved. Plus this change has prepped her for it. But to expect her to really like Andrew...nah, not for a while.

 

In a week or two, make some contact with work, if only with HR or someone else to talk about returning. The slow contact, unlike the potential Kate's baptism by fire in going to her own bed, will ease the transition for you. And again, although much said. This is totally normal to feel this way. Plus you are still physically vulnerable and will not feel confident at all for a while.

 

Kate probably is a genius. She has most of the traits of giftedness if not more.

 

Maybe we could switch families for the holidays next year. They could experience the non "food" (and learn to appreciate you more) and I could do therapy.

 

Brother in law is "married" it seems...to mom. And contradictorily, he acts just like a wife in a traditional family structure: not working, not driving, of course not dating as he is psychologically married. So, I am not shocked at the blatant Freudian stuff either. He is emotionally stunted somehow. It is really quite sad. And he speaks to fil this way...well, yes, you called it: Oedipus take a bow. Wow, you nailed it there. (See, I think you would have made a fine therapist.)

 

My oldest had reflux. It was a pain in the butt and she still has stomach issues. The smaller doses of formula help but she was so hungry she could not tolerate being fed slowly. It works itself out with solid food but it is a mess until then, literally. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hey steve.


back from the ob gyn. i bought both kids with me of course. so andrew is being himself. sleepy and hungry newborn. kate on the other hand well she has us in stitches. she is very cute, and i dress her nice always.. shes in a pink coat thats wool with a hood and fur. anyway, sh loves this disney jr pirate stuff. so they say like water ahoy. or snacks ahoy, everything they see is... ahoy. (im so programmed that i think chips.. ahoy!!!) ok so i take them in the bathroom with me and kate yells pee pees ahoy!!! and of course the nurses outside hear and are laughing. theyy tell the dr who yes found it funny. kate also had her toy stuffed blue dragon from doc mc stufins and and he asked her about it and she said its her dragon and he glows in the dark (he doesnt..) so dr k says oh ill turn off the light so we cna see. so she says ok lets do it!! so he does and the dragon doesnt and he thought it was funnyshe said lets do it!!


so h examines me - he says you need a vag exam and im like what? why? so he said to check bleeding etc. i said look you seem obsessed with this vaginal exam thing. i cant hide this from my husband anymore. you want to see me all the time, you want me naked... you want me to name the baby after you. the evidence is mounting. i mean i undertsand that youre in love with me.. (i wish) so hes laughing so is the nurse.. so i said look you may need to talk to soemone about your vag obsession.. i said i have someone.. and he says its way to make a living...lol.


he gets my daughter stickers.. (as usual. i have so many stickers its crazy. )


he asks me again when im having my next baby and i said look, i dont have help at home. im the mom, janitor, security, nurse, indian chief, bar tender, psychologist.. wife bringing up the rear honestly.


he says well what did you use for birth control before? i said you know i dont know. i used pills like over 7 yrs ago. once i started trying for kate, we didnt use anything. heres my prob. i dont remember to take the pill (explaining baby number 3...) i asked rob and he said i dont know abstinence? i said ok im on board with that...


so the dr says what about an iud?


i kind of winced. heres the thing. they can punture your uterus or cause pid. which could be the end of having children. dr k was playing wiht andrew as we were talking.. he gave hima bottle and burped him expertly.. then checked his diaper. and said you get dressed, ill change him. and he did.


so he gave me 3 months of pills to start the actual pills and told me to start this sunday. i told him im not starting with my period and he said yeah i know, use a 2nd and take that. and come back in one month at 8 weeks. ill do your pap and you tell me if you want the mirena and ill put it in.


he went outside and as i got off the table (now this is embarassing.. but im telling you b/c i think you could use a belly laugh and im willing to take the embarassment to get a laugh for you..) the paper stuck to my butt. kate says mommy mommy (she usually says mommy 2x as daddy too.) you have paper stuck to your butt. take it off! i do and finish dressing dr k had taken andrew outside. i get her and me out dressed and she goes right to dr k and says mommy has paper stuck to her butt. but she took it off. hes got andrew on his lap behind the desk and hes laughing so hard and says oh i love her. i say cancel that dr k- we cant have the affair unless i get a baby sitter. shes going to rat me the f**k out. and he says she would. so were all laughing and i say i think you should pay for the babysitter. he said no problem for you liz, anything. he asked when i was returning to work and i told him and he said can you getmore time? i said no. i dont think so.


 


ill ask you a question about this and bounce it off your head on a more serious note. when i was put on bedrest in the summer - i got the forms filled out, but hr was so slow getting them to me and then the drs office taking forever, well i have them all filled out and never submitted them. i got paid with vac time. i went back to work and nothing has ever been said.


so question. should i try to see if i can take the full 12 weeks since technically, did i take any time? or should i be honest if they say oh you have the 12 weeks an i say well i submitted them... i dont knwo what happened..


i had the thought i would hold onto them and i still have them of course in case - but if anyone was to ask me - i was going to say oh i mailed copies.. i didnt know you didnt have them.. and i went back to work...


 


anyway, the dr said i could tell my husband im cleared ina week or 2 for sexual activity. i looked at him and said oh youre funny. i said oh thats ok, youre seeing me in a month and ill tell him im not cleared. dr k said (i was very surprised by this..) well hell hes not ehre do whatever you want. iinterpreted that as, punishment for rob not being there. like if he was there we could have the discussion, and he would be in the loop, but since hes not, well too bad for him.


i figure di wouldnt mention it to him either way unless it came up. i feel like i want to be closer to rob to an extent but dr k did an internal and it hurt me. he checke d my incision and said its good, and didnt see surprised ive been heavily bleeding. i am since ive been thru alot of gyn stuff and never am a heavy bleeder.


as far as our sleeping


i was going to try to go back to our bed this weekend. so its not like were trying all these transitions when im heading back to work which is the last weeks of january. as far as kate. shes has always slept in our bed and i dont want her to see us puttin gher in her bed as a punishment or a result of andrew being born.


so shell stay (i feel b etter with this esp since i work nights now to make sure she can get rob without walking past our stairs.. as she would from her room. i know i can gate it, im still paranoid shell knock that gate down and be falling down the stairs. and i wont be there.


 


rob wakes to her but hes a heavier sleeper than me and even with me downstairs shell call for me if she cant get rob and i go up. she knows if you dont rouse to hit you def. no worries there.


 


as far as andrew i dont think she doesnt like him. shes sweet to him and tries to help him - like here andrew heres your pacifier if hes crying, or heres your bottle. or shell tell him its ok im here with you. shes told us unprompted that andrew is her best friend. ive never said hell be her best friend or anything like that, just that hell be a baby for her to play with. she does say hes so cute, hes so little etc...


 


i have been in contact wiht hr the last week trying to dela with the ins and putting andrew on and the fmla papers..


 


my bil is the moron who had "something bad" happen to him at the all boys high school rob and he went to. rob got inot bronx science and well everywhere he applied. he applied to specialized high schools in nyc. whihc are hugely competetive. (i didnt even test. was told i wouldnt get in. and my mom didnt push or say shed pay for it or well anything...) so its 2 tests one for the catholic schools and one for the specialized nyc high schools. going to bronx science here is a huge boon. huge. anyway- he made all the schools, and his parents had sent him to 8 yrs of catholic school and wanted him to continue in catholic school. he got inot molloy. a big deal also and got a full scholarship. b/c of this his brother (this is why catholic school is so stupid...) who is one year behind got a brother acceptance. yep. if one of your kids makes it in the siblings made it to. can u f**king imagine?


you obviously dont have to send yur dumber kids but of cours emy mil took advantage of it since she wasnt paying for rob and stupid was "accepted"


anyway its not spoken of what happened. ive pried to an extent long ago, like what happened? rob was never told and said he honestly doesnt know and his brother was pulled from the school as he refused to go back - and he was put in public school as it was the middle of the yr. which btw if you cant make it at a catholic school in nyc, you better stay the f**k home b/c public school is a lot less supervised and back then no1 gave a shit about bullying or teasing soemone inot an eating disorder.


so my husband says hes always been clingy but then he really got bad. and according to his mother rob has always been very independent.


 


as far as tmm. he imd me just now and did the same thing. after a few how r u? and im good blah blah.. he just signed off no explanation.


i wonder if he thinks that he can mess with my head? get me all uptight why is he doing this? b/c if he thinks that.. well ill just have to up my game...


 


and andrew. i have amonth to see if we cna get him better, otherwise maybe ill have her put him zantac or soemthing. ive been premedicating him prior to feeding with simethicone, so it seems to be better... but he still has his stuffy nose.


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

I miss the days where my children were so cute like Kate. She is a doll baby and no wonder people fall all over her. Let's do it! That is so funny. She is like a mini adult.

 

And you...what are you trying out for, comedy central? That whole thing about the doctor was really funny and you (I can tell) deliver it really well. What a riot.

Birth control is an issue that comes up a lot in counseling. You would not think it would be but it does. And I too have read the material on IUD's. Okay, some work because of the substance they are made of and some due to positioning and chemical changes to the body itself which makes a woman infertile, but that PID thing is really a mega issue. And why I have such a difficult time with the concept myself. Why can't you get injectable birth control that lasts for three months plus. At least that way you would not have to remember all the time.

But at least your doctor sounds like someone you can talk with. So many of them are so remote or do not speak English or whatever. Your doctor seems like a really decent guy. (And he is good with babies too) wow...

 

The serious question thing about HR. This is my Bill E. reply. Bill E was a man who was in a similar position. He did not tell the company up front about an error they had made and he hedged the bet that they would not find out or figure it out. Someone did. He was asked, came up with a good excuse and not much happened. But he lost his reputation and status with the upper folks as a result and basically was in employment purgatory the rest of his days there. He was passed up for advancement, opportunities and the rest. It was really quite sad. He should have just been honest, fully. I know it sucks to say the honest truth about this as you need the time. But I think it might be best of you just stated what was. You never have to watch your back as a result or worry about who knows what as the truth stands for itself.

 

Sex after a c section is not an easy thing to determine, nor should it be rushed. There are other ways to be intimate and the rule is not by calendar date but by your emotional clock. This is a very strong rule in psychology. Do what you need to do when you are ready, not when the clock says you are. Rushing this just causes more issues. You will know when you are ready and that is about all that needs to exist as far as a standard of when.

 

Kate is not always going to show competitive feelings for Andrew and she may in fact be adjusting quickly. She is insightful after all. But don't be surprised if she give you some real zingers like take when do we take him back and other such items in the next few weeks. After Feb though that stage should be totally resolved and she should be adjusted enough to deal with whatever is new in her life and in her perceived rank in the family.

 

I feel for your brother in law on one had but also know that he is a man, if he feels that way or not. Trauma can stunt people, but the real test is if the person can move ahead and try to work things out. Look at your own life. You struggled with many mountains with your own family and past. You do not make excuses but try to work things out with resources, assistance and guidance. That is a sign of strength. In bil's case he somehow never got past the issue and it limited his initiative. He had opportunities true...and yes, if things were bad that is awful, no doubt of that. But it is what he does with that event as an adult that will show who he really is. And right now he is stuck in that limited world, where he lives much as he did at the time of the trauma, as a young teen, not driving, being dependent and still living at home. It is sad what happened to him, but he holds the final choice of choosing to remain a victim of that past or to take action to overcome it. He must choose but right now is standing still, a defense mechanism that keeps him safe, but stifled.

 

How will you up tmm's game? You can simply tell him that you no longer want to be contacted and then ignore him for months, write him a line after than time and ignore him again...if psychological warfare and all, is your game. But that might be too mean. How about just blocking his texts?

 

GERD sucks. I have it and so does my oldest to an extent. At Andrew's age there are a number of reasons why he should be placed on the mildest stuff possible as you know...but then again GERD is no fun living with and in children many of them outgrow it with maturity. Weird question. Is XXXXX XXXXXer in legs in his height (dominant in leg size; or is his size in his torso? I have this strange theory about body shape and gerd. I want to see if it pans out with Andrew if you do not mind. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve.


i kind of went against your advice of staying downstairs. i said to rob it more than a month n he hasnt gotten up with the baby. so he said so go to our bed and ill stay here on the couch with andrew. go sleep with kate. so i tried. 1st prob. kates a cuddler - always has been she has a whole king size bed and shell push u to the edge of the bed. i was trying to lie on my side to hold her and the pain was excrutiating. i laid on my back n was still in pain. after 4 hrs i gave up n came downstairs literally crying due to the pain. rob and i switched n i was in so much pain yesterday. he apologized for rushing n pushing me..


 


so then andrew kept me up the rest of the night and then he decided it was sleepytime. i was holding him and fell asleep too.


so i woke up at 1020. so yes it was late.


well today rob slept until 2pm. he said this am after andrew kept me up half the night, oh im going back to bed for an hr. at 2pm he finally came down. n i swear to god he did this shit cuz i slept late. its like no we cudnt have used the time and kept doing stuff on the house to cont clean up from christmas plus keep organizing. so i did as much as i can n of course have plenty more to do,


 


oh and i forgot to tell you that kate (not solicited) told the dr she wants a sister. and he looked up and said how can u fight that? and i said when shud i have the next one? he said see ya next year this time lol. he said thats what i usually say.


and dr k's kids are bigger now - i think theyre like 12 to 24. so he may miss the ill take care of the baby thing. hes def quick at it. he did his diaper in a second.


kate also said can i have ahug? and dr k said awww shes so cute. as i said of course and kneeled down to hug her.


 


 


i wouldn mind the mirena since its plastic- i dont like the metal thing.. alot of jewish girls get them placed im sure hes an expert - i have heard them talking of it - and was surprised to tell u the truth - the shots are a problem b/c if u stop them you could be still "protected " against preg for 6 to 12 months after the last one. and i need to be nimble that if i decide to get preg again i can start trying on the turn of a dime honestly. if i was younger id say ill do the shot.


its really between the mirena and the pills. which i was supposed to start today and didnt. looking good here liz. smart.


 


ill tell stupid hr.


 


as far as his brother he saw a therapist or a psychologist at the time. no offense but we can see how effective it was.


and youre right we choose to make it thru or be a dysfucntional asshole. i mean b/c of that you dont learn to drive? not for nothing if it was sexual which im not convinced it was... i think it was just ball busting teasing and probably physical stuff like knocking him around or beating him up...


so? i was teased. and i wwas sexually assaulted as an adoloescent. and i had to face everyone in the neighborhood about it b/c his family told them. so i had major public embarassment. and kids at school knew and told teachers who called my parents it was a clusterf**k. my dad told his family b/c my aunt was a cop (didnt do shit.. she talked to me and tried to comfort his sentence of probation with oh anytime anything happens theyre going to go talk to him and knock on hsi door or take him to the police station. yeah was 11. i didnt give a shit. if i had known i wouldve kept my mouth shut. cuz it still happened and i had all the rest to deal with. if i said nothing no one wouldve known and it happened anyway.)


 


tmm - i wouldnt warn him im not talking to him. id just ignore him. let him 1st wonder oh shes not there til its blatant- oh shes ignoring me. let him sit n wonder...


nah blocking him wouldnt let him get a message thru. if he has hope to get a message thru... well all the easier to f**k with his mind.


and he could still text me on my cell.


 


andrew does not at this time appear to be long legged and short torsoed. i am average in this way just having long legs for being female, not overly long and tall of course. and rob is not long legged. neither is my dad. were not long torsoed either.


sorry. i get what youre saying if youre short torsoed youd be more likely to have gerd due to the shortness of it. but i actually think its just a valve defect... or a low pressure defect..


he does the more as time is gong by seem to have reflux though. i may have to see if she wants me to switch to the spit up formula, its thicker with rice already added..


 


 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve. so rob and i are fighting, im ignoring him now and just taking care of the children and not doing anything else but laundry. i saw when he got up and he took some cold medicine, then 2 1/2 hrs later he took more. kate wants him to play with her but he only has the energy after sleeping til 2pm to play on the desktop computer. i told kate after i got andrew back down id play with her, but she said no i want daddy. i said ok see if hell do the legos with u . well i hear him yell at her, i dont know why, i call kate instead of talking with him - he comes in and says why cant i just play on the computer and relax? i said rob shes waited all day to play with u. i mean we didnt bother him til after he decided to get up at 2pm. what f**king adult sleeps til 2pm with children? im not saying he does it often. but i mean yest was the 1st time he said ok ill let u sleep. n i just had f**king surgery. i didnt say to him like you know i had a c section at 12mn and at 7am i was out of bed after being on a stretcher all night b/c they didnt have a bed for me due to high occupancy.


i did say to hi hes being a f**king jerk. i mean honestly. he said oh i feel like shit blah blah and i was like oh im sure. i said nothing b/c if i really was going to say something it was going to turn into a full on fight.


ive been trying to keep kate away from him but she has gone there without me being able to stop her from going.


i originally wanted him to take her to play at the bounce houses, and i didnt mention it again once it became 2pm. i was going to keep andrew and clean up here to keep up how nice the house looks.


 


anyway i just came from trying to persuade her to leaving him alone without yelling at her, and she said no i stay with daddy. he said nothing as i explained we needed to leave daddy alone he doesnt feel well. i mean i cant even believe it.


when i slept til 8am in the hosp the nursery nurses came in and said oh my your baby was the only baby not picked up!! all b/c i was up for hrs in pain during the night and waiting an hr for a percocet i got it at 6am and fell asleep in pain at 7am. i finally was really sleeping. and they woke me up heres the baby.


and being left home alone the day after i got home from the hosp? and him being like its not a big deal? and your incision is fine? when id have him look to see if it was ok.


im pretty mad right now that i shud have to even explain to him my surgery was a little bit worse than his f**king cold. not that i have said anything as im giving him the silent treatment. it would help if kate would listen to me to really give him the cold shoulder.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

so the day has just gotten worse. kate went inot the laundry room where rob is on the computer and i the door was closed and i didnt hear what happened, but kate was crying. i went in there threw the door open and took her out. she said she wanted to stay with her daddy and i said well he doesnt want you here. she really started to sob and i felt bad but rob didnt argue and say different.


 


i picked her up hysterical and brought her inside and said its ok and its nothing she did, daddys being grumpy and she said she wanted to go cheer him up. (i felt worse now.) i explained he didnt feel well and its better to leave him alone, and kate got her doc mc stuffins doctor set to go give daddy a checkup. (i felt shittier now.)


 


i was trying to essentially bribe her with anything now btw, ill play blocks with you, ill do dolls wit you, what do you want for dinner? anything. of course her screaming and crying and she woke andrew.


so now i havw the 2 of them crying and im trying to get her to stop but cant and hes staying in the laundry room on the computer. and see, and i even know what youll say in respon se to this...


but see thats why i cant have another kid. im having ahard time b eing by myself with these 2. an i shouldnt do anymore if im already in over my head. i cant and wont rely on rob or anyone else to be there to rescue me. im their mother and if rob leaves or if soemthing happened to him, id be alone. i know i cant count on anyone else and i wouldnt be able to afford help.


 


i know yu will say..


rob shouldnt be an ass about this, but you dont see him leaving and its normal were fighting since we just had a baby and he just switched jobs and i had surgery and we just did a major home reno and the holidays are still underway.


and its stressful.


yeah i get that. i do.


but i cant stop being their mother b/c things suck. like when a month ago i had andrew. yeah i was scared. but i was on my own. i didnt have a choice. i didnt burden rob with oh i cant do this. i told him i was worried, but.. it was like oh youll be fine. yeah sure thx. and then oh take the kids out 2 days later and got all over town to the drs. drive, lift the stroller and the carseat and kate and worry about ur incision. and well it was all too bad. wasnt it?


it was just tough shit liz.


and it just tells me.. im alone.


i can not like it, i can even hate it. but its not going to change. it is what it is.


but i actually had hopes id eviscerate so id be readmitted to get out of it. id need antibiotics and re suturing and observation.


 


see and im thinking other than feeling abandoned.. quite familiar for me since im a kid. but i dont even feel hatred towards him. i feel nothing. hes going to wokr even though its new years eve... hell be there a reg day since he took half on xmas eve... which is fine. its not often i wish him away from mew but well its better that he is. we didnt get loud or violent - prob b/c i didnt come out and say like youre an asshole. although i did say hes a jerk n he didnt ans me. n i havent spoken to him - not that he has spoken to me.


i do feel horrible about kate n her feelings. i just couldnt leave her in there and him being a jerk to her. n then for him nlt to feel bad or say no she can stay. im going to try to get some rest...

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

It is somewhat normal to have fights and the like after what you have been through, but I have to agree with you on this one...

There is no way Rob should have been mean to Kate by ignoring her. Whatever is going on with him is not enough, ever, to allow a man to hurt his little girl by making her feel that she is not loved or liked. That would make anyone angry and I get why you would feel the way that you do. It is one thing to get angry at you or to act out against an inanimate object. But to be dismissive of Kate is not okay. He sounds like he has some stuff to work out...a lot of stuff actually. And although men can be morons about what a woman goes through with pregnancy and so on, after a surgery he should have picked it up and helped out more. That is not simply the way it is, that is a man acting irresponsibly.

Men sometimes do not get the important role that they have in a family. They are oblivious to the fact that they were made as leaders in the family, but as leaders they are servants first. As a man all else comes first. You are last and your wife and children are #1. A cold is not fun, but even to compare it to what you went through is ridiculous. You did not get breaks or have a chance to play on the computer. You have two kids and a full schedule and were hurting and still did and do what you need to...

Plain and simple Rob needs to get himself into a better place. While letting things go is a part of marriage there is a time when he has to step up as much as he can, as much as you are...and that is not the case here. You are in pain; exhausted and have no more resources. He does need to get with it. You are so right and until that happens I do not think that he is going to have a very wonderful new year.

Birth control is not the best thing to talk about when you are ticked off at your husband, but it seems like there are a number of choices... but it also seems to me that you need one that you do not have to remember everyday.

Your bil could still so much better if he wanted to. Many traumas do not impact until years later so even if he had a good therapist it may not have been the time. Now is when he needs to go, to address all the obvious issues. But that is his choice as you have said...a choice that is seated in his own power. You, you wen through a lot but did choose to seek assistance. It tells a great deal about your character.

My thoughts about gerd relate more to genetic history of families as Italian and Irish families seem to get the illness more. I think there may be an unidentified inheritance trait for the illness within those cultures. But then again I am an armchair genetics person at best.

I know it is tough going right now for you liz. Try to have a descent New Years Day if you can. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve.


happy new year. i hope you enjoyed it.


hows everyone?


 


were ok. kate got up last night crying, rob was still snoring i could hear him downstairs so i went up and brought her her milk and comforted her. she asked for me to stay there in the bed with her and i told her i couldnt b/c of my boo boo and i said she cud play sleepover with me downstairs on the couch. so we did. kate stayed up for about 2 hrs i finally put on tangled and i dozed at soem point so did she. i talked wiht her and she kept telling me baout her friend the monster at the front door. of course andrew woke up about 10 min inot our talking and i wa slike geez i mean i just wanted to stay with kate until she calmed and went to sleep and i hate that i feel like i pick andrew over her. shes upset too. i got him settled quickly by pacifying to buy me a few minuted and it did, i went back to kate and kate gave me the sweetest smile. i told her i loved her so much, and she held out her arms to hug me. i told her i was right here and she shud go to sleep.


 


rob and i are kind of speaking. hes still with this cold and ive actually had a sore throat all week but figured its from being overworked and not sleeping... i made dinner but i lounged around myself yesterday. i actually read a magazine 6 weeks off and i havent had a chance. i had the baby there and did in between taking care of the kids but i read the whole thing.


i also am excited that i got a disney celebrations magazine and it covers all of the new fantasyland opening.


 


anyway i didnt really address the whole thing and ive just been a little more cuddly and trying to be more involved with kate. itll be easier now that i dont have the xmas deadline looming. i have 3 weeks after this week to return to work. so ill do soem clean up, put the tree away of course and try to organize more and take kate to play stuff. she has mommy and m this fri and next fri i signed her up for a playdate thing at a place thats a miniature town (indoors) and they can play in all the different " houses' its a diner, a bank, police station, firehouse, etc.


 


i could take her to a bounce house thing today too. i guess ill see how it goes. even though weve stayed home for a few days already i dont feel like going out.


 


yest rob did tel, kate to stop jumpin gon the couch and she startd to cry and he said you cant tell her anything she starts to cry. i said well i just tell her quietly and it doesnt elicit sucha dramatic response from her (she starts to cry or hides ) he did tell her a few times and then he said it more seriously and she freaked. he told me that b/c of me he cant tell her anything. kate went running to hide under the table. sigh. i mean i guess i shudnt tell him not to tell her stuff, its not that i do, its like i dont know - it could be done nicer at times. not that hes a screaming lunatic, but i dont know. maybe im wrong.


 


im surprised hes acting this way with a cold, normally he doesnt get sick and when he does you usually honestly dont see him lying orund or anything so i dotn know why this time is different. either wayn hes at work and im glad just to do what i want with the kids without him honestly. or to have him in my way. he sits in the computer/laundry room and then i cant get past to get tot he washer dryer and i cnt switch the laundry. and its like im annoying him. and i just want the f**king pleasure of switching the laundry.


 


anyway i was changing andrews diaper while kate held andrews bottle, n she poked his scrotum and said yuck. as i told her that its not nice to say yuck n that hes normal (i dont blame her on the yuck btw.. smart girl) he peed a huge amt..(a efense mechnism?) he practically hit himself in the eye and it went all over the couch cushion n the boppy pillow. (clean up in aisle 12..)


 


also tmm has not texted or contacted. i havent either thinking i shud just go back to not talking to him. and him not contacting is showing hes not interested in me anyway.


dr b on the other hand got new yrs eve off and has been texting alot. he said while he was out things were getting crazy there (at the the club) and i said well everyones drinking right? its 130 or 2am on new yrs eve to new yrs and he said yeah but not that much...


we laughed and i texted the next day so whod you go home with ? n he said no one. i said you the ladies man didnt go home with some1?


he said no im not a ladies man!!!


is that an insult for guys? i thought it was a compliment.


anyway he sent me new yrs kisses via text.. i didnt send any back, but i figure leave him wondering...


 


as far as other news - my old manager - the one who got me busted when i was the one who oriented her and welcomed her to the unit (she worked another unit and hated it - so i told her when she said she was going to quit to come work with us, were awesome.. and she admitted she liked us better.. stupid me shudve kept my stupid mouth shut.


well 1st she was very sick with the heart problem (not to be confused with my old super whos still currently dying in our own icu..) in the icu.. apparently shes doing better but while she was gone the nurses signed a petition for her not to come back - apparently she burned them with bad evaluations - so now they burned her back.. so now she said shes going home to LA due to family issues..


 


 

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hey steve. just thought of a way to torture tmm. i could hint that hes been replaced. like oh pls i have another guy.. hes always been very jealous that drs i work with would turn my head.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve. so he did just im me.. of course my kids only go crazy if im talking to some1 else.

kate needed her new walking baby alive out of the box now. u need a nuclear f**king physics degree n the jaws of life to get the doll out. she kept bugging me n then she finally went to her table n chairs n she fell off the chair? the doll fell too n she was hysterical. worried i guess that baby alive was baby dead.. or baby injured? of course andrew decided it was the time to wake up n freak out.

 

tmm said how hes going to be a yr older (hes born the end of jan.)_ i said yeah better u than me, plus u get those great half price movie tickets.. (i cant help it..)

he said ok now im not there yet.. so i said well u still can enjoy discounts...

but he said this..
tmm
I had a dream about you last night
oh yeah?
ran into you at some party don't remember what it was it was weard dream
woke up befor it went anywhere
Me
guess it couldve been worse. u couldve fallen asleep in the dream
him
you were there though
very funny
Me
yes.. i try
him
yeah well just have a thing for you always will.
think about you a lot
Me
why?
him
cause I just have a lot of love for you
Just on my mind a lot
miss seeing you too
oh well thats of my chest
he said he had to leave to go take his daughter to the bank n then came back n said she decided sh didnt want to go til tomorrow
he told me he missed kissing me..
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

theres no images. i cant get that to go away. i too out our screen names so i think thats what it is but theres nothing there when i click on it...

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

and he sent this


I really miss you and your kisses i'm sorry I made you angry with me I would like to make it up to you but I don't think you will ever let me.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Happy New Year Liz...

 

It sounds like you and Rob are a little bit better than before...of course he sounds really crabby. And, it's odd you would say he has a cold and that his personality is different.

 

A couple of people in my field have mentioned that this rather tenacious cold that is going around is causing people to act out of character. (really I am serious.) I kind of wonder what this strain is and if it is causing changes in behavior. Virus' can do this so maybe Rob has a taste of this weird thing too?

 

Your time with Kate sounded nice too, minus being cut off by Andrew. (Why do babies seem to have some sort of alarm whenever a close moment occurs? They must have a sensor or something. lol)

 

You actually sound somewhat upbeat in your posting this time. I am glad to see it as you seemed not quite yourself with all the sleep loss and stress. I am really grateful that the holidays are winding down and that you might get some sanity rest time in...you could use it. And, just simple time for yourself is wonderful, even if very limited.

 

I am not there to see how Rob talks to Kate. I wish I could hear to get a better read on things. Men sometime scare girls to death with that loud voice and directness, but I get the feeling that Rob might be a tad heavy with her. It is hard to tell. I can say that I had to tone down, way down, how I was with my middle one, nikki, as she was sensitive compared to my oldest. It is a learning curve for each child, but I stlll get the feeling that Rob needs to evaluate how his is with Kate.

 

Being a ladies man is an insult? Not that I am aware, unless the guy is gay...and I know dr b is not. Sounds like he was just messing with you. Wild time on New Years at the hospital it seems! You have three weeks left btw? That is not too bad. It will go fast but it is almost a month. Every bit helps.

 

The work situation with all the folks you knew/know is awful. Two people with such serious issues and one who has staff sign a petition to not return?! That is hard core behavior. What on earth did this woman say in her evaluations? It must have been seriously mean...or seriously accurate.

 

Of all the funny things you have said to me I think the baby alive being baby dead somehow struck me as really funny. I am not sure why as that is nopt all taht funny when I think about it, yet it is. Must have struck something in my own past or similar. What a hoot you are. And Kate treating the doll in full Piaget animism. I love it. Can I take her to human growth class this semester? My kids have outgrown all the fun developmental stuff.

 

Well, I hate to say I told you so...but I told you so. You have opened Pandora's box with tmm now. He is not going to stop the blatent manipulations until he gets whatever jolly she is seeking from you. And I do not mean phsyical contact. I think he is an emotional stalker much more than one in the real sense of the word.

 

Telling him you have another to take his place might indeed put him over the edge. He is both desperate, needy, pitiful and pathetic all at the same time. I worry about his stability after I saw what he wrote here. It is like time has not gone by for him at all. He is locked into a past with you that no longer exists. And he misses kissing you? Oh please....I am sure that may be the case but in the context of all the other stuff he is saying he sounds, needy...not romantic. Look at that last line. Guilt, shame and the lonely boy image all rolled into one comment. He's good, I will give him that. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hey steve.


well i didnt hear from rob all day, but i guess that goes with the whole were not really talking. so he came home n it seemed like itd be another shitty night with him. but he seemed better. his cold and he was more playful with kate n was cooing at andrew and not that he touched me or really came near me but i didnt go near him either.


 


he played with kate n she seemed happy. n i am glad for it. he didnt discipline i did, i sometimes even whisper when i do = a loud one but i do.. so we both did different parts of dinner n childcare n the night was uneventful til 11 when kate woke up screaming for about 40 min. she was gagging n choking n sounding like she was going to vomit. andrew was up so i was taking care of him hating i couldnt be with kate, but her screams from upstairs woke him up down here, i figured rob was with her n she generally wants him.


i get him down n shes still carrying on n i have been hearing him tell her its ok daddys there, shes ok, dont cry etc.


i go up with her lambie n her dragon n she sits up n says mommy. she puts her hands up n i lift her n rock n shes holding the stuffed animals n im telling her not to cry n she tells me her coughing is scaring her. i told her the more she cries the more shell cough. i asked if she wants a bottle n she says yes. i put her down run down n get it come back n shes drinking n falling asleep. i told her stay with daddy ok? she says yes n shes sleepy now. rob seemed surprised - i admit i was too. i was going to offer to take her down but she was already half asleep. i figure ill listen n get her if necessary.


rob was looking at me with a look.. like kind of like i dont know. like surprise i guess that she calmed so quickly with me .. i kissed her n she told me lambie n stuffy the dragon needed kisses so i did n kissed rob too.


i came down to text messages from tmm. calling me his love - are u up my love? n i miss you my love..


he told me he wants to see me to kiss me n i said but then well see each other. n he said i know. i said yeah but its been a long time n he said i know. we stopped talking.


so why would tmm be emotionally stalking me? n why dont you think he doesnt just want to get laid cuz thats what i think...


 


not that he will still want to if he saw me. im sure. maybe thats what i shud do. go see him and itll kill it and thats it. end of story. end game.


 


dr b ans again n he said hes not a ladies man dr a is. i said well, i didnt go for ladies men. i went for just the opposite cuz its more attractive n im sure theres other women who feel the same. itll help u score. he sent lol. well everybit helps...


 


the one who was the mgr who got me fired. well frankly im not sayingi wish anything but theres no love lost. n the nurses lucked out the hosp listened to them with the petiton. i know she went on to bust alot more balls n if they had stood up to her when she rolled me they wouldve saved themselves alot of aggravation. oh well. i think she was also pushed out due to her lack of education or whatever...l she was the one who lied or didnt tell the truth about her not having a bachelors degree or soemthing.


 


oh and after rob was home a bit and seemed less jerky i said oh i saw that movie friends with benefits on the premium channels pay per view.. so he says no. i say what? he says no. i say why are you saying no? he said i dont want to watch it, i said i didnt ask that i said i did.. i was going to to tell u a joke in it that i found funny. i told him it - the couple is watching a rom antic comedy and theyr eina romantic comedy which of course i sirony and theyr eripping it apart - and she says at the end when they kiss there shud be another movie to tellu s what happens next.. he says there is.. it s called porn.


so he kind of laughed which i get cuz he kind f killed the joke with the whole no thing... i said oh btw i get that i dont do it for you anymore that you would suck i t up and watch a romantic comedy chick flick to try to get with me. and he said nothing.


 


btw the doll talks it was one of the many things my mil got her and its always saying mommy mommy. and it walks. so annoying. and you can take kate to clas sif you want. expect to need cookies and milk though for tricks.


 


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.
I will get to this question a little later, liz...some issues at work.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Well, that work issue did not take as long as I thought...

 

At least you and Rob are not fighting anymore. And it sounds like he was a good dad to Kate last night with all the "action" going on. Kate seems in a transition emotionally to me. She seems like her ability to self sooth is increasing, yet she has so much of that really young thinking still...and the normal emotional insecurities that go with it. So long as you or Rob are able to see her when she is fearful or worried, she will be fine. She just needs to know that you are there, and present. She is now capable of putting herself back to sleep once she feels secure and I think you saw this last night.

 

Tmm: There is not much more to really add to this man. He is trying to wedge his foot in the door with you and is trying to play an emotional card, hoping you will, by his persistence, see him face to face. He does want you. But he also has a very odd need, a need that I usually only see with stalkers and the like. It is a need to feel emotionally in control, and that is what he is trying to do with you. You escaped him, and he lost that control. This effort is to get you back into his control, or even perceived control. It doesn't matter if it is real to you, only to him. The more you respond to him the more insistent he will become. How do I say this clinically about him? He is nuts.

 

I know that mixed feelings about people who have been mean to you are not easy. On one hand you feel that this woman deserves whatever she gets, yet you are compassionate and do not wish her ill. It is confusing how we feel sometimes. It did balance out though, what she did to you. We often do not get to see the results of this, but here you did. Sad what happened to her, but again; she brought a great deal of this onto herself.

 

Rob is in one of those situations where he needs to do an adjustment to his thinking about his marraiage. All men go through it and they reach a point where they realize, through one way or another, that they are taking marriage for granted...finishing sentences before listening, etc. I can see that Rob will be here in this adjustment too, one way or another. A man just can't do these kind of things and keep a marriage functional. He'll learn.

 

Cookies and milk? That's cheap. My kids always wanted much more. I may take you up on that offer. She works almost for free. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve.


 


what happened? the union rep came back from their 4 hr coffee break for the write up faster than you thought?


 


i slept some last night. still tired since i didnt really sleep the night before.


i dont think i told you but on christmas day we went to put the leaves in on the new dining room table and a pin didnt work. so we couldnt use that leaf. or at least b/c they told me it wasnt fitting right i said dont use it (i had visions of the leaf falling out and hitting whoever was sitting there n food n dishes flying..) so we called our friend brian whom i honestly thinks shits blood when we call to tell him about the pin. so now today im waiting for soemone from the store to come and look at the pin.


 


and frankly steve. im annoyed. one i feel like i cant believe how many times ive had to deal with this. i love the furniture. its here it looks great. but now im worried when 8 chairs come whats going to be wrong with them. and im still waiting on the new shelf. and im just. dissapointed. i dont want to give back my dining room, but i feel like this is really just unfair now. this i sthe 2nd time i have to wait for soemone to come. besides the reg delivery date which of course yes i have to ne here. then i came running home before christmas to get th shelf and it was still damaged and now this.


 


meanwhile ill have to put off the chairs b/c i actually dont have th cash for them. between christmas and baby stuff and i dont know if its my foul up i guess it could be, but i didnt pay dec mortgage so im behind on that im paying it jan 15. and of course you know bank of assholes is calling. at the end o the month i set up all the other reg payments and screwed up robs paydate. i thought it was the 15th of the month and the 30th. its te 15th and the last day of the month. so if theres a 31st.. well its the 31st. so i had everything set up for the 28th b/c sun was the 30th and you always get apid the weekday before. so all this stuff went thru and then soem bounced and then i had a ton of $35 charges put on me. so i lost money like that. plus im not getting paid and the hr dept there doesnt even have my fmla papers yet so im sure i wont have any disability money til after i go back b/c i only have 3 weeks left. (my other job pulled this bullshit too. how come hr is all up in our biz about our job description but they dont know theirs? and whos going to coem down on them? us? and ive noticed theyre just jerks in general. like theyre all fake nice. or as my other friends husband calls them THE ANTI LITIGATORS!!!) and now im not going to have jans mortgage payment. sigh. ill be getting a partial check the beginning of feb for one week for the return and then at the end a full check to start catching up.


and soemhow im supposed to pay the 2k to 2500 for the chairs.


i had thoughts of calling stanley - corporate - and telling them like i want money off. this is bullshit. the store doesnt owe it. its not their fault. and this guy brian is like taking it up the ass form rob. i play the nice cop. robs not awesome at bad cop, but im pretty good at bullshitting and saying like crazy stuff like well he doesnt want any of the furn iture. i feel like calling them today and being like look the chairs arent even in (good thing ill feel stupid after trying to hurry them and now not having the money. i dont know how ill put them off. what excuse ill have.)


 


i also have to return our leases in may and in july and im kind of nervous about it. im thinking - but i guess i could be wrong - that theyll want to keep us as customers - and like i want 2 new cars. i swing the payment every month so... like give me my new minivan and my new suv. i want a pilot this time but i dont know if theyll give i to us instead of the crv. i would think theyd like to keep us as customers and to have 2 large ticket vehicles go out it be good..


the miinvan exterior is very good, the interior is a little rougher.. its always a mess for soem reason.. i clean it and its a mess again ina second... and out mileage wont be over and the crv interior exterior are both good.


ugh. of course im worried like if they say no were not giving you new vehicles.. well then what? i need 2 cars and i cant suddenly not have the cars. and of course i dont want to put money down, as one i am playing catch up now and 2 well i put money down on those cars. i just want to walk in, give them this car and pick out my new car. the dealership had kind of made it sound like that.. but well ive never done it. jen and her husband have a honda dealership n they said its like that - as long as youre taking a new car for each car youre bringing back. they lease the odyssey and the pilot. her husband chris told me go in there and tell them i want 2 new cars for the same price and i want better than what i got now. like the pilot or the touring editions or whatever.


 


meanwhile just cuz im home im having fun with calling places.. like a visa card i paid off in dec. it was overpaid by $44 - so they send the next statement (its an automatic deduction) and it looks like it needs to be paid. then it has a +$44. such bullshit. why didnt they send arefund check? so i called. and said i want a refund. so the woman say well you can leave it here and then just buy soemthing with the card. i said uh no im paying off all my cards and im not using the card again. so i want a check. so she finally says ok and i said and how long will it be? she said 10 business days. i said really? now i hope i wont have to call you at home at work and on your cell when youre in the bathroom to ask about this $44. and the woman actually let out a giggle.


 


i called dell b/c my new freaking laptop the power cord is fraying at the back whee the computer plugs into it. and the internal wires are exposed. so the guy is indian and im sure in one of those across the world call centers. ok, so he say pls ask me to repeat if you cannot understand me. i say to him you speak english better than most americans were good. and he seemed like he wanted to laugh but stopped himself. at the end he asked if he could put his manager on to ask me about his customer service i said ok. and told his manager he was awesome. and the guy didnt know what awesome was.


 


and the plug just arrived in the mail.


 


rob is a good dad steve. if i thought other i wouldnt have had more children with him. and i decided quite awhile ao - i think i told you im having all my children with rob b/c i dont like the whole babys daddy things and half siblings. and hes always been very good wih kate. better than i am. she just doesnt like me the way she liked him.


 


i mean shes seemed a little closer to me now actually. but its always been daddy daddy daddy. but you know this. if it was me and rob and one had to get hit by a tractor trailer.. well its a good thing my life ins is paid up. they can mourn in hawaii.


 


so tmm. he imd me.. he asked how the kids are. i said theyre good. i mean ok whatever.. and he said of course they are. their mother is a nurse. i said well yeah.. i kind of furrowed my brow at this.. i mean my kids get sick like other peoples kids, or throw temper tantrums or whatever.. i said such.. he answered oh sorry that was a stupid thing of me to say i guess. i said no.. i figured after i sent my response he said that comment in like admiration like well you rkids are great cuz they have you... so i said well no i mean its a compliment.. you think im good with my kids.. i said but im just like other moms.. mistakes and all. and he says i bet youre really great with them. i said thx...


we exchanged a few other pleasantries or whatnot and he had to go...


he didnt mention anything about ggetting together or us being together.


 


as far as tmm being stalker like. i dont know. he couldve been more invasive of trying to find me or see me. and he hasnt. he knows whwre i live. he knew where i worked.. and he didnt go.


 


so the guy came from the furniture store and he cant find anything wrong with the leaves. so i feel stupid. i called rob while he was still here to ask him again where what was wrong etc. and he said the left side of the leaf one leaf wont go in. the pin wont fit in the hole. the guy took them out did it reverse and it fit. so im like ok.. well i dont know. i told the guy to leave it there so rob can see it when he gets home.


 


i apologized profusely but he wanted to take a picture of the china cabinet shelf anyway he said and he told me that he didnt mind coming to see a natural beauty like me and to get away from stone faced brian. he said you tell him soemthing and he doesnt ans you for 10 minutes... i said oh broans ok, just a quieter kind of guy.. i said look everyone has their strengths. i bet you brian could take out vegas with that stone face. he said he goes to atlantic city i said see? hes prob a millionaire. be nice to him. maybe hell leave you a few hundred thousand.. and the guy laughed...


 


so as far as my finances. rob is srill kind of in the dark, but ive started working out an action plan. the chair have been shipped and we owe 2497.63. yeah seriously. i was going to say 2500 but the 37 cents saving really helps me.


so i decided any extra money in.. like a return, or like robs osha shoe reimbursement, plus of cours ei will squirrel some money away from the checks... and put it in our savings account. so i threw 250 in today. and i shud get a disability check after i go back, and im going to get rob to cash in the bonds we have. its only like $700 but heck i gotta live for the now. ad bonds suck. i also have gold i wanted him to sell and im going to see if i can start listing on ebay for kates clothes etc. so... ill do the best i can. im hoping in 6 months itll be all fixed. and i checked the update of the combined debt. itll be paid off by chritsmas this year coming up.


 


as far as rob, when i asked him why did you say no? he said i thought you were asking if i wanted to watch it. i said right. and then i said the comment about i know he doesnt find me attractive enough to watch soemthing like that to try and get me in the sack. he said nothing. cuz.. robs good that way. no answer. so i can sit here and fight with myself. by myself.


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

Thanks Liz...

 

No, no union rep stopped by, just the usual nonsense of work issues such as people looking for impossible things such as rewriting a national policy on an issue. You know. Small stuff.

 

The pin in the leaf story is a real bummer. The pin was in backwards? Since when are pins directional? They are usually pieces of rod steel, cut to size and fit into a predrilled hole. The cheaper ones are wooden. But it should not be so complex that an engineer cannot figure it out. Seriously? Wow, that sucks. And for what you paid someone should put the leaves in for you, on call, on demand. Ridiculous how many issues you have experienced with this "quality" furniture. What good is it if doesn't come assembled correctly or has quality issues?

 

Getting confused over bills is not hard. I have done it and sometimes you just can't help but miss a deadline. The bad part is that your workplace does not seem reliable and you are so right. I too face this with reimbursements for outlays of travel expenses. If it is a busy month then the outlay can be significant and of course they take their good old time and pay after the credit cards have accrued interest charges. But I get you on the HR issue. They never seem to answer to anyone. You do not have your FLMA papers yet?! Holy crap! You are going back and never got the original FMLA work? What are they doing there? That is worth a ticked off phone call. Of course it is HR and they can punish you if you get angry. You gotta love this nonsense.

 

Chairs not being able to pay for them? Do you have any recourse as far as resources for money? I hate to even mention family but could they give you a loan? Credit union perhaps? Anything to get the chairs and then pay it all back...Your ideas about saving are the best though.

 

One non worry is the car lease. Car places are hurting, even Toyota and Honda. I have some family in the business (or used to), and trust me. You will get two new cars out of it. Pilots are not selling well right now. They will want you to have one of those in exchange. Consumer Reports downgraded the Odyssey and Honda has seen a decline in sales there too, although not like the Pilot which is a real incentive car right now. If you asked for two Pilots you would get a great deal. CRV's are too hot to talk down and they hold value well. So, no issues there. And the van? Detail the thing. For 300.00 or thereabouts the interior can be made like factory new. It is worth it as you will get a better lease result at the conclusion. But I would not worry. If a Pilot is what you are after they will cut a deal.

 

Dell plugs and cords? I love India and IT support!

 

The guys always say their name is XXXXX XXXXX something when you know its Kashaniali or something. But they have the strictest policies on laughing and joking with customers. I often try to get the ones on my kids cell phones Virgin Mobile and TracFone to crack up. I have had some success, not much. But awesome...lol I hope you didn't have to pay for the cord.

 

I am sure Rob is a good father. He is just at a stage I recall well. Let him grow through it and do not hesitate to remind him to be steady and even with Kate. He will be a better father for it...really.

 

Blunt as a hammer now...

 

Why are you defending tmm? Read what you wrote here. You basically tell me indirectly that what he is doing with you is normal. It is not. He is odd. And, stalkers do not have to be on your door step. They can try to control via emotions and text and email contact, like tmm. Think about shutting that door. He is not a good person for you to keep that avenue open.

 

A natural beauty like you? Wow, you must have been impressed with that statement. He sounds like he hit on you. Did he? And you said you "lost it"..., seems like you were wrong.

 

I think: Now is a good time to sell your silver and gold if you have it. And ebay clothes are sometime a good deal if you can nail the shipping charges correctly and not use ebay's stupid shipping calculator which is always wrong.

 

Rob and silence. Not sure about that technique. That works sometimes but then not...later. What happens when he does want sex and has not done anything to help you feel that same way? Long range vision is needed here Rob...plan man, plan. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve. took the kids out all day. made my usual mistakes of staying with jen.


but well ill ans all our ittle details 1st .


1. there was nothing wrong with the leaf. the pin wasnt backwards or directional. rob admtted my dad was sitting in that spot n rob never got to that side of the table as he was like oh it wont go in or something.. rob trusted this. instead of looking st it himself. i said well you know i sat here all day to wait for a guy to come and you didnt even look at it?


i shut up then cuz it really wouldnt have been good.


 


hr sent me the paperwork last week after several phone calls. i gave it to the dr on fri. his bitch who does the papers is now on vac til jan 4th. so i cant win. its going to obviously be after i return. either way i want my money. if it about $700 its still my 700. (towards chairs or the kids new stroller.. whatever. and i realize next month i have to do kates bday party at the end of march. so f**k.)


 


the bills. i f**ked it up. rob sai its the last day of the month. i misunderstood and thought it was the 15th and 30th. regardless of if theres a 31st of the month. and the chairs.. well the people will wait as i will delay delivery. theyre not here yet. and then they need to be recovered. then im going to say im back to work. and the next day i can do it is.. x y z. or ill tell u the guy i can pay for it on this day. use the card you have on file. and charge it the day of delivery. i threw another 100 inot the savings as i got a return money for 66 dollars and decided for good measure.. ill throw a 100. robs returning $200 worth of stuff right now. i checked the bonds and they $650. at the end of the month i can pull hopefully $500 from that check. prob the most i can, but.. well still.


in feb ill be getting 2 full pay checks i re worked it out to make sure. since this month si the 3 paycheck month im missing out on, it works ill have two paycheck of 2 weeks for feb. so thats my full pay. ill pull 2 mortgage payments that month. and well keep being focused. it will take me 3 to 6 months to fix. what can i say? its alot of stuff.


 


rob. hes been acting better although still sick. he gave me fright when he came downstairs and he has blood all over his teeth. i said what the f**k happened to you? he said what? i said your tetth are covered in blood. turns out rob had his lip crack and it mustev bled last night.


 


he also got nasty with me about a nice shirt i bought him. i told him look i buy you all your shit, i buy lands end. not garbage, and i try to get it all on sale. he says well i hate this type of half zip shirt it always scratches my neck. i said look i dont care just wear it. he said no, if youre returning this shirt ( a lands end of mine...) im returning this and there he is throwing it in the box. i said youre a prick. no thank you for all the f**king clothe=s that are great. he barely has to return anything.


im ordering another shirt to replace today. geez.


he dint ask for that im doing it b/c hes low on shirts for everyday at home.


 


he has been especially not flirty or complimentary towards me lately. which makes me feel shitty of course.


 


ok about tmm. i figured if they could they would be at you r doorstep or wherever. i do think he thinks we can go back or pick things up where they left off. see he has alot of time to think. whereas.. im in a busier time of my life. so.. its diff. but yeah i mean we were talking an d its hard to fight 10 yrs of being together. so it did feel like shortly we were back to where we were. and then it doesnt. i have mixed feelings.


i dont know why he doenst feel strongly towards his wife or maybe he does but how i fit in? i dont know. i know when rob makes me feel shitty - see above.. tmm fits in easier for me.


 


i do have bad thoughts of upgrading to a younger newer model of dr b...


 


i wasnt impressed with the natural beauty statement really to be honest. i was without makeup in pjs with 2 kids. the guy was older and may have been joking. and if you saw brian the salesguy hes stuck with in the office all day - between his stone face and no personality- the guy may gave been happy to go to mc donald to get a happy meal. honestly.


he may run to staples to buy one paper clip to get the f**k away from brian.


 


i have had people say ima natural beauty. my uncle the drunk, this guy, and tmm. i guess a few others, but well whatever.


 


my moms bday is the week. i had the thought of picking her skinny ass up with the kids to do something. then i thought. maybe im asking for punishment...


 


the cars. i know theres a shortage of cars in ny right now. everywhere you go you see tractor trailers rushing cars in. in manhatten and queens staten island long island, and jersey too im sure. peoples cars were flooded. so theres a shortage of used cars which have hi resale right now.. and people are getting new cars. my dad said a few firefighters in the city went all overto diff jeep dealerships to get the same jeep grand cherokee. and one found a dealership with 7 and said hold them all. and the firefighters came and took them all. (i dont like grand cherokees. ive heard theyre repair prone..) so i dont know if the dealerships arent hurting due to this.. so i dont know. i just hope like i said we walk in, get a similar deal, walk out wiht 2 new cars for similar prices. i would take the same or the odyseey and the pilot. or crv if they wouldnt give us a pilot. i love the new pilot. it has 3 rd row seating now. and with the 4 of us in the minvan.. its not looking as spacious. i mean its comfortable for us and our crap but taking other people? and jens minivan is all banged up with her kids and cars seats and a single stroller plus a double.. too much shit in there.


 


oh and the story with jen n her f**king kids.


i think they may all be sociopaths really.


 


well 1st we went to mommy n me n cassie sat next to kate. i had andrew who was awake n kate sharing my lap/ arms. they sat together again in the classroom where there isnt any assigned seating.


it went fine.


gina the other mom i like i said to her do u want to take the girls to play? she said where n we debated back n forth where to go..? jen was talking to a new mom recruit also named jen (shes a gorgeous natural redhead..) and her seemingly normal son. shawn. hes a redhead too n so cute n well kate n him looked absolutely adoreable together. they interacted slightly..


anyway i wanted to go play without jen cuz well i didnt want to deal with her. so i said to gina - go ask jen if she wants to go.


jen said to gina oh maybe. n kept talking with this other mom.


i looked at gina like really? so i said well i have 2 kids to load so im going to start. stroller the whole bullshit (everyone oohed and ahhed at my stroller..)


so gina loads her daughter n im like lets go. n we did. jen followed me though so i knew she was coming. nancy brought her evil son seamus, and i told gina how kate n seamus are the new ike and tina... jen n her laughed and laughed. so jen only had cassie n the baby. no dom. so at 330 she needs to leve to get dom. so the girls r crying no, we want to play, were friends etc. i looked at jen - gina and nancy left.. and said go get dom. ill stay with the 4 kids. meanwhile peppered threuout all this was a good looking nice dad with his son jake. jake was like 5... he sat nearby us etc, n we bantered on and off. his son said dad come on come in the playground with me (the huge 1 story tube thing..) he said im too big i cant go in there. the kids ran away n i said oh yes u are. if theres a kid stuck n theres a dad. we looked around no other dads.. i said youre the designated asshole to go in to get the stuck screaming crying kid. he said i am? i said see? now youre sorry you took the day off.. and he laughed. he was leaving n saw i had all the kids- n raised his eyebrows.. i said yeah u caught me theyre all mine.. he came n looked at andrew n smiled n said congrats.. when? i said oh hes 5 weeks. he said hes solid. i said yeah youre tellling me.


 


meanwhile i shud mention before this jen dropped her ice cream cone n hit into kate n knocked her little ice cream cup to the floor.


 


so handsome dad was leaving n was like are you going to be ok? i said what? we dont look like we got this under control? he said no youre good.. he said bye to kate n andrew n left. to go to lowes apparently.. the kid asked n he said were going to go to lowes now n the kid said yay..


 


ok so let me tell u why jens kids both cassie n dom are sociopaths.


well its 5pm n im ready to go. of course the kids dont want to.


i round up kate n cassie n tell jen get dom. i have the 2 babies. dom comes the girls come n shoes r being put on. do put his on i put kates on. cassies missing a shoe. i tell her go back, get the other shoe from the shoe holder. so kate n cassie go. i can see them. jens giving the baby a bottle n andrews sleeping. cassie comes back n she puts on the shoe. i say ok lets go. doms not there.


see/ i hate this f**king kid.


so im looking in the playground thing.. i yell in, no ans. i tell je go look and yell. she goes n says hes not in there. im like hes gotta be. minutes r going by.


We cant find thi little f**k.


and jens getting more n more upset. n we cant both look b/c we have 4 children under the age of 3. jens looking all over the mc donalds n she comes back. no dom. shes in full on freak out now. def 15 minutes have gone by. i say stay here - its now really dark out. i go looking. its really cold out too. i see something(im inside) outside n i bolt. i cant even tell what im running to, but i think its dom. well hes outside the mc donalds. no one was with him. i grab him by the wrist, n say are you kidding me?


i drag him inside i have no coat on. everyone is looking at us. i have him trotting n im walking at a freaking gazelle gait now i open the second set of doors to the playground. jens on the phone with her husband crying (can u imagine? like me calling rob? uh no. id call the cops 1st) i kind of threow his arm n release him. and after all this jen says.


dominic. that was very naughty. you shudnt have done that. in a like kindegarten teacher voice like he just took another kids crayon. i say lets go. my god now its 6pm n i have a f**king hr drive home seriously.


were all walking out n i feel like a jerk. to say the least.


so the girls are walking the babies are strolling. i start walking to the door n jens at the counter getting a free refill of her drink. (she annoys the shit out of me. can we just go/) so cassies standing closer to us and i tell kate say bye b/c we cant in the parking lot. so kate says ok bye cassie n goes to hug her. cassie takes one step back. kate tkes a step forward. cassie steps back again. i say to cassie. thats really not nice. i said i guess you act so nasty only when your mother isnt aorund huh/ and she gives me a little smile. kates getting incresingly upset and i tell her look, cassies not being nice. youre doing great and youre a good friend. jen walks up and says whats the matter/ i say cassie wont hug kate. she says oh please this one. shes been being a snot. and says nothing to cassie. we walk out to the freezing parking lot n i start driving home.


was it wrong i was hoping dom was kidnapped? i was thinking whoever took him really f**ked up. like one of those kidnapped movies where the person who deos the napping is like oh shit... how do i get rid of this person?

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

With the table leaf, you sound like countless other wives who roll their eyes at their husbands because a little bit of extra work, like checking the entire leaf themselves...before determining that it doesn't fit, was avoided Yup. Bite your tongue indeed!

 

And 700 bucks may not be huge in the scheme of things, but it is still significant and I too would be struggling to get it eve if only on the principle of it. And, doctor's receptionists or assistants, even if RN's, seem to fall in to two categories. The kind ones who are sticky sweet to the point of seeming fake, to the ones who are like you describe, who seem to dislike people and never give back paperwork or return calls.

 

Give yourself a break. I too have played shift the money when an error was made about what money was coming in and what was not. It does take time to correct it as you said, but it is easy to make that kind of error. Been there myself. Yet, you have a solid plan and clearly have things in hand. That is better than those (many) who makes the mistakes and then do nothing to fix it.

 

I think many men do not appreciate the efforts that their wives make to make them look good. You take the time to make Rob look great by buying Land's End shirts and he complains about the zipper. He'll learn. I hope not too late. And the lack of compliments and flirting and support that you feel from him right now will change, as he grows. But he is in a weird place right now and I think is wrestling with a lot of the demons that men of his age and life place are. It usually does not last a long time, this stage, but living through it is not pleasant.

 

Tmm: I know that when Rob is like he is, distant, cranky and odd, that the tmm flirty messages are easier to accept as they make you feel wanted. But his agenda, tmm's, is not okay for you. He is such a manipulator and I worry that his relentlessness will eventually cause more walls to open and more and more contact. He is a boil that needs to be lanced, a chapter of your life that is truly over. It needs to stay over I so strongly feel. And as far as the natural beauty thing. You really downplayed what appeared to be a nice comment. Why do that? Just take it and accept it. It was a nice thing to hear and seemed genuine enough. Right?

 

No matter if NY has cars by the dozen or not, a Pilot is still a slower seller and what you seem to want is a Pilot. I think your desire to get a new one will be met easily.

 

Adventures with Jen sound like they are, well, weird. That Dom child is gong to get hurt. He has traits of ADHD and similar. He is impulsive and not insightful at all. My concern is that his folly will involve another child and they will not have the fortune to be so charmed as he is, always being found and safe. He is a scary kid and the entire family, Cassie too seems to issues emotionally and impulsively. So why are you friends with this family again? And I think the feelings you have with not wanting to be around them are totally normal if not conservative! I would be running away from these people. Poor Kate. She cannot possibly understand why Cassie is being so cold and aloof. Maybe less time with Jen and kids is not a bad idea and all of them seem odd and dysfunctional. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve.

 

im up waiting for the baby to get up. yes thats what my life has turned into. hes snoozing n im sitting waiting.

 

meanwhile i think you havent been in a long term relationship unless youve considered murdering someone for their nightime cough. i told rob to take the cough medicine before he goes to bed n hes up there hacking away. its ben over a week now n i told him uh it might be a sibu infection and you may need antibiotics b/c this is getting to be ridiculous... h e didnt really ans me.

 

we took our christmas tree down. kate was sad. i told her it had to go night nights to take a nap. rob looked at me like im crazy n she aid very sweetly oh ok...night night christmas tree.

 

in all of this rob ripped his jeans. right in the crotch. he came to show me (no not in a bawdy way..) and said can you fix this.. i said no not really the jean material would need a sewing machine with a heavy duty thread..( i dont have a machine..) as we were discussing this - ever notice how well you can somehow tune out your kids? - kate was dancing around us and then she stuck her hand in the ripped spot. rob jumped and i was laughing for like 4 hrs... ok im still laughing.

whats messed up is since we were talking and ignoring her she may have asked for permission n we didnt hear...

 

tmm. he hasnt texted me. sigh. and rob hasnt been a complete bastard, but.. well not too lovey dovey either.

 

sat during the day kate was crying on and off that her tummy hurt. the day before she pooped so im thinking well shes not constipated really. i didnt give her anything as ive been feeding her well and under my watch things have been fine. at about mn she woke up crying and rob yelled at me shes been crying all day about this i thought you did something. i said i didnt b/c she pooped yesterday. well i gave her the little enema after talking with her.. she of course freaked and it burns big time. so i held her and talked with her. all the while she was in pain. rob sat there and finally she went and the kid passed.. a huge round hard stool. i figured wed be in for a rocky nite cuz she then will poop for hrs once things are freed up... i told him ill take her downstairs its like 1am. and he said ok ill go down too.. i said ok.. and she sat n drew pictures for us quietly until 230am. poor kate. but he sat with her and drew pics etc.

 

jen and her psycopathic kids. yeah it always seems like little brats like dominic somehow dont get hit by a car. i dont know why either. it just doesnt make sense. or that jen gets away with her bad mothering.

 

i noticed you didnt comment on handsome dad.

i dont know whats wrong with me but that was a litte pick me up for my day.

 

also shud i call my mom and say hey mom do you want to go to lunch for her bday? or just keep my mouth shut and avoid what will be a prob miserable day?

 

oh and i found out that my stroller company has made a seat to make the stroller a double stroller. our frame clips everything on, so its like car seat bassinett, or seat. well now it has a double seat that clips on. its $199. but you have to have both kids sitting up. so until andrew really is big enought ot sit on his own.. we cant use that. i mean so far ive been making kate walk (not super far really) and hes in the basinett.. i like the other really nice and appears to be bigger baby jogger double stroller.. but i hate to part with my current stroller as you know. but i found that all really interesting...

 

oh and i wanted your thoughts on kids "hitting back" i dont tell kate to hit back as shes still little and i feel like how do i explain its ok to hit at certain times but not others?

but kates been getting hammered as you know. that seamus i mean maybe itd be good for him to get a good smack back - id like to do it myself already- but ...

my other conflict is i do feel like kids shud work stuff out - and not involve adults for every little thing- b/c in real life they will have to know how to handle things on their own and you cant expect to be rescued all the time...

 

my dad is pretty pissed that seamus keeps hitting kate and it was joked about that he may need to come to mommy and me to pay seamus a visit...

 

my mother is the proponent for hitting back, when i explained why i havent told her to do that - shes little only 2- and explaing when to hit and not to is complex - even my dad was like no dont start her hitting...

 

so any thoughts?

 

 

 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

It is really awful when you are up, waiting for the baby to wake up! That is terrible. Are you just feeling anxious or where you up anyway?

 

And your husband. Yep, agreed. My wife and I joke about nighttime coughing as she is extremely sensitive to cold medications with dextro-meth in them and one night she was coughing like Rob has been, and I got sick of it and made her take Vick's Formula 44. She basically went into a coma like sleep and didn't move or anything for hours. (So much so we both got concerned.) Obviously she doesn't take that stuff anymore, but when she gives me trouble I usually say I am going to 44 her. Most folks may think that is a handgun caliber, but in her case, it's Vicks. But yes...I get you. Coughing at night should be illegal.

 

Kate is totally concrete and animistic, so why not say goodnight to the Christmas tree? It makes total sense. And to get her in her own bed she may need a doll or a stuffed animal that needs comfort from her, as they need her as their mommy; sometimes that works well too.

 

You gotta love kate and the blue jeans thing. She is so funny and innocent. Who knows, she may have asked and in all the chaos of the moment she wasn't heard. It is still funny! You ever try to sew blue jeans by hand? You can, but the needle is thick and you better have a metal thimble too. I know. I ripped good pairs of jeans that needed a repair or otherwise I would have had none. So I learned I guess.

 

Kate seems to have a time of it...I feel badly for her and you. She seems to get this constipation thing often. Is that me, or does she seem to have this a lot? Did you not think this was her daycare previously? Does she drink enough? But at least Rob was there with her. That was nice. And kate knows that when she is not feeling well that both parents are there for her. Sounds corny but that is priceless.

 

Now I am being sarcastic here of course: Handsome dad? You want me to encourage you to get in more trouble by flirting with men you find at the playroom of McDonalds? Okay...what would you like me to say? Hey Liz, that was really great that you found this good looking man to joke around with? Better said: Hey handsome man. How about knocking off this tmm man who is forever texting me?...now there is a good use for that guy. lol

 

Hey, I had to suffer through a mom birthday yesterday. Why should you not share the pain? Besides if you avoid it, the situation will just get worse. You may as well go and get it over with. Really. That may not sound therapeutic, but it is good advice. Sometimes facing the music is the best way to deal with pain of this nature.

 

The double stroller clip on attachment, that sounds cool and may save some money in the long run. I think you should get it if you can. And Kate standing shotgun next to Andrew for now. not a bad thing at all. It makes her more grown up and gives her a good example of differences in her, and a real baby. It will help her adjust better too.

 

I often let kids work things out by themselves if it is verbal or very minor physical, like "she sat on me cause she wants this chair", etc. But if the action is serious, or very painful, at Kate's young age I ask that kids tell an adult instead. Past about 1st grade they get wise enough to gradations of physical things and can tell when personal space and rights are violated, at least rudimentally. At that point I have my kids block or push back if need be. Two of mine went to Karate, and I am a big fan of the confidence it builds, especially in girls. They teach them ways to get away without hurting the other person much and they seem to learn it better than if it is just me telling them. But at Kate's age. She is too young to push back. And she could lose confidence in herself if she does and is met by some kid hurting her back worse in retaliation. Better to work this out with adults at this developmental point. Steven

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve- trying to fix my post...

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi steve. i wasnt anxious. just not tired? i took a nap during th edya with the baby for like an hour or so.. and then i was wide awake. i went to bed at 6am and got up at 10am. kate was playing down here b/c rob brings her to sleep on the couch hen hes leaving at 6am. so i fed the baby and went to sleep when he brought her down. she got up like 8am and was playing and i held andrew and slept.


 


dr b texted me last night and asked if i wanted to go to the hosp emergency room drs party. its fri night. i would except i dont fit in my real clothes and i have soem transition stuff but its at a catering hall and i dont want to try to find soemthing for this really. i knwo its not a jeans thing, so maybe itd be better if i skip it. if i could fit in soemthing id like to go...


 


kate hasnt had any bouts of this constipation thing since i have been home and she drinks so much fluid its crazy. i think its b/c shes such a milk girl as thats constipating... but its really the only dairy she eats..


and shes skinny, so i cant tell her no.


so i cant figure out why the day before she pooped and it was fine and after that it was fine. so why that huge hard stool? i dont know.


 


as far as your parents being there when youre sick being priceless.. i know. i was sick with my asthma as a kid pretty bad alot and my mom didnt believe in the medicines and wouldnt take me to the dr. id be sick all night alot of nights. by myself. just sitting there. crying and sick. so i have sympathy for kate and make sure i tell her im here. and hold her and tell her itll be all right. when kate had croup i held her i think for 3 days straight seriously.


 


so tmm texted me today. it was going ok til he started with oh money problems etc. i was going to tell him like see, one im here for a good time. not to hear about your money problems. and 2 like why retire so young if you cant afford it? like he retired at like 58 or something. so stupid.


granted he started all that afteri hinted that a certain dr may or not be interested in me. he was telling me arent you only 34 now? i told him hes old and he said thats enough young lady.. and i said see thats the thing. not so young which makes you really old.


he said arent you like 34? i said ok ill take that...


he told me im beautiful and i was like yeah whatever...


ad then i hinted around about dr b.. he got sullen... after he went on and on about it with minimal responses from me.. he said he had to go.. n did.


 


handsome dad well - i had the feeling hes def divorced the way the kid was pushing the envelope (cutely) with him.. like he was emailing n told the kid lets go and the kid ran into the playground.. n the kid yelled n sad he wanted to stay..


he was eye candy.. and funny. i def didnt mind sitting there with him. and good to know hes going into the playground to get the kids if disaster strikes. i dont want to go in those tunnels. yuck.


i always have the thought a kid threw up in there n theres a puddle of it. why? i dont know..


 


 


the stroller. i bought the carseat attachment last night since we got all the accesories except for that and i couldve used it countless times with the sleeping non transferrable kate. the other day i couldve just clipped him on to go into mommy n me. jen said oh mine is so much easier( she has the $20 snap and go carseat pusher.. its gross im sorry.) i said oh well if he neds to be chnaged or whatever its easier. this is true esp for a long period of time.. and the basinett is big for me to put my car keys and other stuff on the bottom end beofre his feet hit and i tuck it under the cover and it looks nice. which is why everyone oohed and ahhed at mine and not hers.


even the teacher told her oh take the baby out let her play too if shes awake. jen threw the blanket over her face and left her in the corner while cassie danced around. i had andrew out since he was awake and danced him and had both kid on my lap. the teacher even took andrew and let him be at the front of the class and she had him doing the motions. she said she wa so happy to hold him her oldeest just turned 17 and she misses that little baby stuff.


i think the whole blnket over a 4 months old head is weird. i dont think im alone as the teacher was like... take her out...


the other moms dont say anything, but well i think its super weird.


 


anyway, i went back to landsend to finish finding what i was getting rob to replace what he returned.


so its a 30%off sale. i saw this gray wool coat thats hip length and has a hood. it was 250. marked down to 129. 30% off made it $90. n it had matchng gloves. i got that too. n 2 rugby shirts. i know im supposed to be saving, but i couldnt resist.


 


well my mom normally is the stick in the mud.. doesnt want to do anything etc kind of thing. so i dont really have to do anything. plenty of times weve offered and shes like no.


so what do you mean you werestuck with your mom? arent you close to her?


and then its like where can i take the bitch? i always drive and now i have 2 kids to drag with me... so shed just hop in the minivan honestly.. i thought oh i could take her shopping. or i could take her to lunch or whatnot...


i dont know shes just not a good time person.


and then i have the thought ill be doing all this n then itll end badly or somehow go wrong. i never can anticipate b/c today she can be fine n on thur her bday she cud be in some sort of funk that ill be stuck trying to deal with. sigh.


and of course regretting doing it - like i always say. like i was fooled into thinkign things would be ok.


 


the double stroller clip isnt a bad idea. its just limited like, i cant put him in the carseat and put her seat.. and her seat doesnt recline as theyre buddied up.. so i ts good like if you go soemwhere your kid may quit on you. like the mall. if i went to sesame or disney.. well id want like the big tank stroller where its like you have to nap there, you have to live in it. you have to be changed etc.. and all the storage that needs to be there. this quick clip would be good for like my dad who takes the stroller and walks with her.. and of course andrew can lie flat but its not a bassinett... which makes me worry hell fall out..


 


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.

We need a new question I think...

 

Again a bit too blunt, but: How are you going to get back into a work schedule when you are so erratic in your sleep patterns? Can you try to get back into some sort of sleep pattern that is not sleeping only when the baby sleeps? I worry you will be a zombie when your shift comes up. Then again, you always did do the death missile thing with the CRV.

 

I think that it is always best to surprise people at work when you come back from a baby and maybe it is me, but I feel that avoiding people at work until you are actually back is somehow emotionally healthier in the long run. That is just me though and opinions differ on that point a great deal.

 

Maybe Kate's constipation episode was just one of those kid things. It happens sometimes, no rhyme or reason. It sounds like you are doing all that you can do to make sure her diet is great, and if she is just a skinny little thing, then so be it on the milk. I sure would not hesitate to give that to her. And it is great that you both are so attentive to your children and when they are hurt or sad or sick. Half of my client's would not be in the situations they are in if that had happened to them as a child.

 

You do seem to have tmm on the ropes. He is a jealous sort it seems, yes? And his going for the pity card is not going to cut it with you, that I know. He should try to stick with romance if she is going to do this contact you by text thing. At least then he seems interesting, not pitiful and forlorn.

 

Eye candy huh? Okay...but make sure you balance your diet with what is good for you as too much candy will cause problems. And he is funny? Funny eye candy. Wow, sounds...interesting. lol

 

The strollers you have seem nice. It is like a guy with a sports car. Everyone gather around to see it. And you know my thoughts on Jen. She is odd at so many family based levels. A blanket over the child's head? Not cool. Plus it is so XXXXX XXXXX. I really wonder about that whole family and I mean it. Tmm has his issues and an be really peculiar. But Jen and her family. I can tell big time that something is just plain wrong in the home. I am not sure what but there is a secret something happening.

 

You sound like my wife when it comes to a sale. But even I have to admit that the deal on the coat (set) sounded pretty awesome.

 

Your mother is indeed, from what you have said, a stick in the mud...but better to deal with her as she is than pretend the birthday was not there and she calls you out on that later, which I would not put past her. And if you do take her, of course you will lose out. She is just like that. You have to try to figure out what is fun for her when nothing seems fun. I get that, really. My mother...she can be nice but she is controlling as heck and you better read minds about what she wants because if you guess wrong you will get punished with a "look".

 

You'll have to send me a picture of all these stroller attachments and options. You sound like you have the Lexus of strollers and a few BMW's too. Steven

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hey steve. so the green is the pram - i have it in black, and the middle in navy is the double seat (obviously.. no choice in color there..) and then the reg seat in purple but mine is in black...


im starting a new question.. and i have the frame with the wheels with the spokes.. but this stroller adjusts to the tallest stroller they make on the market. and i put it the highest i twill go. and my dad likes it too. my mom and everyone else use it at lower intervals. but i think its a nice stroller

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 1 year ago.
Tall stroller! I will look for the new question.

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