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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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i am getting married in 6 months, i am obsessed with another

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i am getting married in 6 months, i am obsessed with another woman. we become very very close after we met 6 months ago, i have zero confidence and found flirting with her very reassuring. she has admitted that she only really talked to me for the attention and 'led me on' i tried to explain that i didnt want a relationship, i simply loved the talking and closeness. she then assumed all i wanted was s*x and for 2 months she has refused to speak with me. i have tried explaining and apologising, each message is ignored and i feel i have lost her completely.
I just want her back as a friend and find myself crying everyday thinking of her and how i upset and hurt her. what should i do?
I see her several times a week and therefore 'cutting her out' wont work, plus i adore her as a friend.

this situation has been stuck in my head for 2/3 months, everyday i cry and find myself losing all interest in doing anything, work, social etc.

it's damaging my relationships as i am constanly miserable.
It may be useful to continue to identify what needs this friendship fills for you and try to develop that with your s.o. You have to keep in mind however that if something hurts your partner the relationship will continue to be effected in a negative way. The cost may be very high for this friendship. The information you provide could be consistent with a situational depression. This is a depression that is solely related to a person or a situation. It is not chronic in nature but when the situation resolves itself in some way the depression lessens. In this case this would mean that with time or with a strategy to resume this friend the depression would lessen. You have to first weigh the cost to your present relationship. Then approach your friend with a genuine plea in mind. In the end however it is her decision and you have to respect that. Honesty usually wins in the end but it could take some time. Don't be hasty in assuming that it will always be this rocky. Patience here is the virtue
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