Dear Dr. Keane, I had that conversation. I kept it simple. I admit to feeling a bit upset when I told her just how hurt I was but composed myself to get it all sorted out. I hadn't intended on being a bit upset though and hadn't thought I would be, so I was a bit annoyed at myself for that. To begin with she didn't seem to like me trying to express myself too much, but then she listened as I explained to her why. She actually talked a lot more than I did about how she felt, but I did convey how I felt and I did listen. I think I said enough to her. The outcome was that she thought what she said wasn't that insensitive and she meant what she said to help. I listened to her comments, even though some were critical and commented a bit on them and brought the conversation back to what it was about as she started to talk about other things. I slept on it all. It took a bit of time for us to make up, or for me it did anyway, but I think we have for now. I know, I have to stop being sensitive and not take negative things to heart. I will try. There was a time in my life when I wasn't quite so sensitive as this though, but I'd be going off at a tangent for this post. Why I am so sensitive I do not know. So. Anyway, it all ended in us putting the finishing touches to decorating the house together. I think family things will be okay over Christmas, or I hope so anyway, but at the moment looks like they might be. The other outcome is that I feel that I can stand up to family now too. I mean I could before but not very well, and although I didn't do it so well this time either, if there is another time when I need to, then I think I will just go ahead and say what I need to and try to do it better, since things feel more how they ought to be again. I am glad that I made my point to them, both parents make it sound like I don't have a right to state a point to them at times, but I now know better than that, and know that I can. I do realise that this isn't therapy but it helps. Chatting to you is nice and I feel comfortable doing that. I feel chatting with you is fine and very worthwhile, one of the best things I could do for myself, I feel, is reaching out and chatting to you. :) I know that experts can see all our conversations but surely they can't all be interested in all of what we say as it doesn't concern them, only us, and I feel quite anonymous, to them I could be anyone. Oh and I had a really nice time with my friends that night. I hope your time with friends and family is a happy time too. There's a bit of sun but it's been stormy and lots of flood water is now lying around. I hope you get this and I'll be interested in your response. Thanks!
Hi, I am sure you felt upset when you had that conversation but you had it! You are not use to speaking freely about your feelings to your mum, it's okay to let her see how her words hurt you. She listened and that's a good thing. I believe we spoke to her way of making a comment, it's just a comment, not said to hurt. She is older and I would bet she didn't realize her comments were taken as critical. Everyone perceives words in their own way. Someone could make a simple comment and if you asked everyone in the room to interpret the comment I would bet you'd get more than one interpretation. You are sensitive and that's okay, everyone has varying degrees of sensitivity. I'd rather anyone I know to be more sensitive than not! I will be off line for the next couple of days, or on very infrequently so I will say Merry Christmas to you! Have a wonderful holiday. I'll check back when I can to see if you respond to this.
I am here
Hi, glad I caught you, just logging off to start cooking and baking!!!! lol
Well, thank you for getting back to me
Yes, much to cook, clean and get ready here too.
I can understand you not really being here for next couple of days, it is Christmas after all.
You are welcome, I hope you have a very nice holiday, well get moving on it, takes longer than I planned.....:)
what you say makes sense
Have a great holiday and Merry Christmas to you too.
good, glad you read it before I left.......
Dear Dr. Keane, I would also like to add thank you for your comment about being sensitive and you'd rather know someone who was sensitve than not, I think I would too, andthat sensitivity is okay. That actually helped a lot because I was wondering about that and you clarified it in such a good and nice way. I know you won't get this for awhile but I wanted to say that chatting to you today had a positive impact on me. Thank you!