how was your day? we went to the party. yep. i said to rob i dont want to go. he got up late - or later than he was supposed to. after i wrote you id fall asleep for 30 min or so and then andrew would be up. id feed him get him settled then id be falling asleep and hed wake again. it was like every hr. well its 8am, kates down here (in the living room, i sleep on the couch. andrew does too. hes on the boppy pillow.) shes acting sweet but im like i need to sleep. i had the list as promised ready for rob, but he has questions and keeps trying to talk to me. i told him look go i need to get my hair done. we ran around all am and i did get my hair done and we made it to the party early even. its a good thing we went as kate and andrew cleaned up. and i wouldve felt bad if people brought gifts and we backed out. ill never get the whole bringing an item for a child thats not age apprpriate (like a charlie brown doll.) whats andrew going to do with that? and kids dont even know who he is.
the hi lights of the day.
ok, well my fil kept calling andrew the name jordan. jordan this jordan that. 2nd we went to sit my in laws got there 1st... they picked where were sitting.. (i hate always being stuck with them at these things. i feel like theyre so depressing.) so i have the baby in the super nice pram and kate was in that same pram but it was fuss today over it.. its so nice blah blah.. well the waitress says despite the restaurant being empty - its 2pm on a sun.. that we cant sit there b/c of the carriage. so i think oh shit this is my out, we dont have to sit with them. so she suggests a place where other people had set up camp. so i said just move down a few and well sit together - kates godmother and her family. well my mil makes whole fuss were not sitting together and can they move? so they do and im stuck with them again.
meanwhile as soon as we walked in the place with the stroller people came over and were standing and theyre looking in the stroller and talking.. well ym fil who can walk btw just so you know says (and he has never seen this child. ever. he didnt come to the hosp b/c he was in the hosp and got d/cd the day that they took my husband away from me..) well can u bring my grandson over to see me? so rob says yeah dad ill wheel him right over. so he did for a few minutes, but i mean honestly steve he walked into the place he couldve gotten up and walked over. this i swhy i hate them.
kate was well behaved and andrew slept the whole time. so kates godmother came and sat and so did some other older cousin whos daughter is 15.. she said she needed advice. i looked at kates godmother and i said well go ahead.. she told me that her daughter is a cheerleader, and she likes to go and see the wrestling team. she asked her why does she like the wrestling team? and she said (wait for it) that the boys wear super tight uniforms and she likes it. she then said haplessly - whats next birth control? kates godmother is laughing at thi and i say yeah.. i mean i know a good abortion doc. the 2 of them are like oh my god.. i said look, you need to talk to her. i said this is all hormones. and i think its better for her to go to you than to listen to rumor an d inneundo.
why do people tell me this shit?
my pain is like a deep pain - it s hard to describe, its surgical, its like im ok if i rest and im doing normal lighter stuff. its when im doing doing doing and after so many hrs the pain just worsens and worsens. the motrin lessens it, but really, itll get so painful its like yeha whatever motrin. and it stops me from finishing what im doing. im so tired right now honestly. i barely slept last night and i actually caght 2 breaks one the cleaning girls are here. i cleaned up more and just gave up with stuff that has no home - its in a box. kates toys are overflowing of course. and my mil took kate today b/c she has kids since people have to work since its mon. rob went to work, so i was going to have to take both the kids to the store with me for the last minute to pick up the meat and last minute stuff, bakery, flowers.. and now i just have to take andrew. since theyre here im stuck upstairs where i dont have them clean and i have to wait til theyre done.
i wish i could take anap.
as far as wrapping. i usually do all the shopping/ wrapping. rob will run to the store although i usually try to do all the bulk shopping- hes helped me all these times sinc ei had the baby as im not supposed to be there forget about lift.. and he helps wth food prep. he helps clean up..
vinny did have it going on. what cna i say? if he wasnt so moody (or i fi was able to break him of it...) id might be married to him. he was def a softer nicer version to me.. (he let me drive his car which no one did..) and people would say wow vinny youre ina good mood, or whats with him.. and then theyd say.. ohhh. b/c vinny was a pretty scary guy at times. my mom really liked him. apparently she likes the angry italian guys. he was nice to her too though.
and tmm people would sya the same things. b/c hes a pretty angry guy too. or not smiling grumpy guy? and passengers on the bus once in a while soemone would get daring and say soemthing to me about it. like wow hes really nice to you.... and id play dumb and be like oh really? but actually honestly i didnt realize soem passengers were intimidated by him - i mean who cares how the bus driver is? i mean i say hi, pay my fare and walk on. soem chat u up.. and other dont look at you. either way its all ok with me. but ive made soem angry guys less angry..
vinny used to say he wasnt good looking so he had to be good in bed. there was no reason for a girl to keep coming back...
tmm has not texted - not yest and not today. not yet. i will not text him 1st (hey is all f**king chivalry dead?) and ill see if i want to answer. he better.. otherwise punishment will be in store for him. thats alli can say
so how does tmm see me? a dumb piece of ass?
i wish i was. that would be perfect. actually my dream come true.
and to be a piece of ass again. well. thats priceless. i mean men dont need to know im smart. they just need to know im hot. i used to be comncerned if men thought i was smart. not anymore. just hot thank you.
another job in another state? youre going to move? what state? what if ii dont make any friends? or i dont like it there...?
oh sorry.. got carried away.
will we be still able to talk?
i thought you liked your sanity.. and thats why you didnt have relatives over for christmas. or went away. or folded your house up so when they came there was only a screen door ( i have visions of that. its weird. like the family pulls up and only the frame and a screen door is there. and the house isnt. i dont know- o rhavent decided if the house has actually dissapeared - or if its just "invisible" ) of course theyll be like what? now who am i going to torture for christmas? and theyre angry and cant even find a mc donalds to go to... and then theyre like where were you and your house? and im like i was there. you never came... and then they tell me the screen door thing and im like. geez your crazy, you know i have this therapist you can talk to...
and then b/c i like you. i give them soemone elses name.
see steve? christmas miracles can happen for all of us..
and spekaing of that youll never believe rob just texted me and said hes getting half a day. wow. im really happy. i shud go to the store so i can start cooking and maybe we can all hang as a family and enjoy christmas. christmas is my favorite holiday and i feel like its always spent freaked out to the run up due to all the work we need to do and were always trying to do some sort of home improvement so its like look the house is nicer!!!!
and then someone in the family shits on me. oh thats not so nice...
my personal improvement this yr was that i did all the moulding in the kitchen - i have the crown with the under cabinet moulding.. and it gets all greasy and stuff. its white - and i cleaned it all and did touch up paint and it just looks awesome. i mean i dont let it get too bad, but i did the fil stick wiht the crayon for the stupid nail holes and i really did a good cover up. kate said mommy putting makeup on the cabinet? and i said no, but it is kind of like that. i realized hey maybe thats why im good at it, im good at putting on makeup. (dont ask em about hair. i cant do hair. heres a brush. thats my hair experience..)
im here by myself with andrew. my mil made a fuss to send kate for xmas eve, oh itll help you get ready. yes it would.. but i also felt it was passive aggressive that she wud get kate and rob as he brings her on the way to work and th way back for xmas eve that i basically said we dont have time for. i mean it helps me too so i can stuff done here.. but.. well i hate feeling like theres all these motives as undercurrents and then they get away with it b/c im like well im kinda behind the 8 ball... so ill let her take kate so i can cook/ clean etc... n i feel bad for sending kate as she shud be playing and we shud be making cookies and just having fun and rob shudnt be at work...
merry christmas steve to your family too. i hope it s agreat one.
(with alcohol if necessary..)