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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5516
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hi I am a 42 year old who has a stressful job, I love my wife

Resolved Question:

Hi I am a 42 year old who has a stressful job, I love my wife and son very much but recently have been attracted to porn and sex chat and phone sex, now almost every day. What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

People are often attracted to porn because it represents an escape from their worries and burdens. It is common to feel stressed but not be aware of how much, making you feel overwhelmed. Escape is appealing. And men are attracted visually to females so the nature of watching porn is appealing.

It can help to take a look at the stress level you experience in your daily life. There may be ways you are feeling stressed without being aware of it. If you have a job with a lot of responsibility, you and your family are busy with activities, there are issues with family or extended family and other stressors can add up. Without a way to express your feelings or get the stress out, you can be looking for something to give you relief.

Learn what you can about how stress affects the body and mind. By learning what you can, you can pinpoint the ways you are affected by stress. For some people, stress affects them physically. They experience headaches, muscle aches, lower resistance to illness, and sleep difficulties.

For others, stress affects them emotionally. Anxiety, appetite problems, irritability and difficulty thinking are all symptoms of stress. Most people experience a combination of the two.

To reduce stress, try these techniques:

Relaxation- progressive relaxation of your muscles can help you learn to relax again. Here is a resource to help you learn how to relax:

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/pmr.htm

Deep breathing- people under stress often do not realize that they are breathing shallow which can cause you to feel lightheaded and tired. Practice taking deep breaths throughout the day to relax and center yourself.

Find time to relax- give yourself at least 30 minutes a day to do something mindless. Listen to music, watch a favorite show, or take a walk for example.

Share your stress- talk to someone. Find support through family and friends. Do something with a church group. Sharing your stress can help you feel less burdened and therefore less upset.

Also, consider talking to a counselor. There may be other reasons that you are not aware of that are causing how you feel. A counselor can help provide support and give you answers.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5516
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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