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Ask Alicia_MSW Your Own Question
Specializing in mental health counseling
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k so bout 3 years ago i was livin here in S.A kinda talkin
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k so bout 3 years ago i was livin here in S.A kinda talkin to this girl named gloria,wasnt really attracted to her physically wen i first met her anyway she was a cool friend i met here at utsa, she taught me how to dance all that latin/tropical music i listen to anyway, one night was a lil drunk, she had drove me home from a party, anyway told her how i felt about her, she felt the same, she liked me alot, only prob was she had a bf in houston. so me and her stil hungout anyway one nite we jus couldnt resist eachother and well madeout.sex etc..., she felt terrible ended up ending her relationship wit her bf. she wanted time to think so i stayed away from her, she was confused. anyway one nite had a get together at my apt, me and my 2 cuzins, and an old friend she was from fbg, anyway, gloria txt me wanting to comover i was tipsy so said sure. well she cameover always saw her as jealous, 1 of my cuzins put on latin music, the girl from fbg grabbed me to dance rite away, she didnt kno me and gloria were talkin, anyway, so she grabs my cuzin to dance, it was wtver to me, cuz my cuzin new i liked her, anyway, nite wen on, friend from fbg left, i was drunk and passed out in my room askd gloria if she wanted come lay wit me she said no she had to go home, she was drunk too, so she stayed in my other cuzins room and my 2 cuzins stayed in the livin room. well turns out she was gone the next mornin, they told me she left the nite before, so i was like watever, anyway 3 days later was her bday was planning on making her dinner, and puttin roses on her car before she went to work, spoke to 1 of my cuzins about it, finally guess he couldnt handle it anymore, and he told me, that he and gloria had sex in my living room that nite we all got together while i was passed out drunk in my room, i couldnt believe it, i trusted my cuzin/family, was basically a brother to me felt so betrayed and horrible, he apologized, i called her and confronted her about, i was pissed she didnt even sound like she felt bad, anyway told her dont wana see or talk to her ever again, and didnt talk to my cuzin for bout 6 months, anyway last thing i told was not call/txt unless it was an emergency like a car accident or sumthin, well sure enough she got in a wreck, i was there, helped her til her parents got ther, anyway she thanked me, and offered me any favor< so asked how many times after that first time
her and my cuzin hav sex, she told me ther was another time shortly after, she went to his place and did it again, behind my bak after they had both apologized to me, and asked my cuzin to delete her number, anyway time has gone by now me and her are friends again, and me and my cuzin talk again, couldnt beat his ass cuz his mother was really sick and ended up passin away that wouldnt hav changed anythin, so now me and gloria kinda been hangin out again, i aint gona lie i stil hav feelings for this, girl, i was in love wit her wen all that happen, even after this act of betrayal wit my own family, i stil hav feelings for her, u think she using me again, or feels sorry for wat happend?, is it wise to talk to her again or date wit this awful history we have? wats ur opinion on the entire situation? hate to say it, but im really attracted to her. ive havent had contact with her in a week, im tryin to stay away, but cant, just in love wit her despite all that happened. any advice on how to move on, or to get over her? or should does true love forgive and try with her again?
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replied 4 years ago.
I can see how you'd feel conflicted by this situation, because you have had quite a roller-coaster history with Gloria. In my opinion, you are probably just going to be setting yourself up for disappointment if you try to pursue a relationship with her again - but nothing is guaranteed, so it's hard to say for sure. I can only make this judgement based on what you've described from the past. It's true that you don't have to hold it against her and that it's possible that things have changed and she won't do the same thing to you again - but if she does, then I fear that you might end up feeling more wounded than you did before. It's a risk you can take if you think it's truly worth it to be with her, because, let's call a spade a spade, the heart wants what the heart wants and it's hard to talk yourself out of feeling a certain way about someone. I don't get the impression that she's using you, but I do think that she's not ready for a committed, mature relationship. Of course you can talk to her, date and have fun together, but I wouldn't pursue the intimate type of relationship with her that it sounds like you want - at least not now. Just take things slow with her and see how things progress. She needs to earn your trust back again, and that's not easy after what happened in the past. She might be sorry, and it sounds like she is, but her actions will speak louder than words. Just give it some thought and follow your gut.
Please let me know if you have any further questions. Good luck.
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