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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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Should I worry if my 3 1/2 year old son has been into girl/female

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Should I worry if my 3 1/2 year old son has been into girl/female clothes, toys, movies for over a 1 1/2?
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Well I can see that you are already worried. This may still be a phase but it is lasting pretty long. You can find out how others are handling this and get support from this book and website devoted to accepting the boys preference for girl things. You can find out all about this here:

The diagnosis of gender identity disorder is going to be changed to Gender Dysphoria in the new DSM V code book written by the American Psychiatric Association. As the new term implies, it is a problem if it causes the person distress. It is a good idea to get counseling at whatever point he recognizes that these feelings are different and is upset by being judged by others. There will not be a specific age. The counselor will not be able to change the preference by rather, help him with self-acceptance as does the princess boy movement.

I hope this helps.....
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you Bonnie for responding. I have seen and read a bit on this boy. I've also read hundreds of articles and comments from parents. It just seems I think if I don't make such a big deal of it maybe it will pass. It's hard to read the comments from parents on threads because many of their children are younger, have had shorter phases or have sisters. I'm wondering if it's because he emulates me. He's usually with me more than his father because he works 3pm-11pm. He does go to preschool and his teachers have not seen anything too unusual, however he does seem to be the one to like the girl stuff than any other boy. Do you know what age I might be able to wait till until having him see a therapist? I'm thinking is there an age, where a boy should become a boy by society's standards? I don't want to put pressure on him too early as that might confuse him even more.

Hello again,

It is significant that you are his main role model and this might be what is going on. It will probably be peer pressure that puts an end to the phase (if that is what it is). His male peers will start teasing him and he will react to that. Hopefully by avoiding girl things, or convversely, being upset by the teasing but not changing his behavior (because he can't). So, by societies standards, he should be all boy by age 5 (my opinion). I agree with not putting pressure on him yourself but DO watch for others doing it and shield him from that as beset you can.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you Bonnie. So far so good at school. Teacher have been supportive and have been redirecting him to a variety of activities. The children have not made fun of him as far as I'm aware so that's a good thing. Thanks again!

Sounds good. I wish you the best.

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