Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
You are in a very difficult and evidently deteriorating situation.
Right from the start, what do your gut instincts tell you to do?
Are you with me? \
Evidently you are unable to respond at present, so I will continue.
Right now you are doing your level best. You are doing THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB - caring for your baby
Your husband may be on his way to become a total alcoholic, a common and very destructive means of 'self-therapy'. He must be helped right away or your relationship will fall apart and he will personally deteriorate.
If you have somewhere to go (such as family) then you might consider moving out for a break if he refuses help and will not change course.
If that is not sufficient, you might consider divorce. Under those terms he will have to support you and the baby.
I do not recommend that you do this EXCEPT AS A LAST RESORT. However, if he knows you are considering this drastic move, he may come around and realise that he has gone way too far.
Sometimes only a great shock can make a difference.
It seems as if he also fallen into depression. and is spiraling downward.
Drastic times take drastic measures.
Since you are not here for feedback, please get back to me with any other concerns about this that you may have.
I would like to be able to help you though I realise that your situation is difficult.
If you have nothing else to add, please give me positive feedback. I am hoping to hear from you, however, because if feel great empathy for you and your little one.
I wish you courage and strength.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Dear Mr Sewell thanks for a quick reply... I'm considering moving out because I tried so many times to talk to him but it is all the same still only one after a big fight on our holiday and him disappearing at night to go drinking all night he promised to change and stayed sober for a week after that it was back to old ways... every time he said he was sorry and we were ok for a month then same again and now its about week no change and he's now out tonight at the christmas party will come back late and drunk ...I would ignore that and then wait for him to say sorry only my son is now more aware what's going on and if he's drunk and loud at home what should i do? christmas is coming i'd like to go away to see my mother if nothing changed because he scares me now.. on the other hand im also afraid to leave him alone....whenever i said he is drinking too much he denies it says it's only 2glasses of wine which is never true but anyway before we used to drink together and go out but he would never behave irrationally and was never abusive towards me ..I sometimes think it's him becoming a father and my husband that ruined it all and gave him one more child to care about financially and he can't bear it now... How can I change it all now ? what can i do to take a stress away if i can't help him by going to work myslef...