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Dr. Autumn
Dr. Autumn, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 43
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience working with children and teens.
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Hi, yesterday we learned that our 16 year old son has in fact

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Hi, yesterday we learned that our 16 year old son has in fact been drinking at parties and he is in therapy as well at this time. recently he lost a very good friend tragically as well as being injured himself, having surgery and not being able to play hockey for the season because of the injury. i want to talk with his therapist to let her know of what we have just learned, though he says if i talk with her, he will not go to see her anymore. i feel i should call her anyway, though i don't know if this will cause him to stop going to see her. can you help me please?

It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation. I'm happy to help you with this, but I have a few questions for you that will provide me with a little more information.

How long has your son been going to see the therapist? What is his relationship like with her? Also, have you talked with the therapist before, or has he primarily been going to see her alone.

If you can answer these questions, it will help me provide you with a better answer.

Dr. Autumn
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He's seen her twice only. My husband brought him the first time, I did the second. She spoke with him alone both times. I spoke in the phone with her at length after his first visit. She spoke briefly go my husband after the first visit. She called me in at tge end of the second session to talk a bit with my son and I. She will see him next Monday again. He has been talking with his counselor at school since his friend died which was August 31 of this year.

Thanks for the additional information.

Given the fact that his friend died so recently, it is very important that he have someone that he trusts and someone that he feels like he can talk to about how he is really feeling. Since he has just begun seeing the therapist, he probably hasn't developed much of a relationship with her. So, that doesn't mean that the relationship is not important, it just means that it's a sensitive period, where he is working to figure out if he can trust her or not.

So, the first thing that I would do is talk to your son about it. Does he know that you found out that he has been drinking and partying? How did you find out that he was doing this? If he does know that you are aware of what he is doing, then I would let him know that you would like him to talk to his therapist about the drinking. However, it is also important to let him know that the reason you want him to do this is because it's important for him to be safe, and find some other ways of coping with his feelings about his loss. His relationship with his therapist should not be about him getting in trouble. So, he needs to be able to talk to her about what he is doing, without fear that he will get in trouble. However, if he is putting himself or anyone else in danger, then she is required to report it.

Let me know what you think about talking to him about this, and then we can discuss more.

Dr. Autumn
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanks so much. He does like her a lot already. Yes, he does know that we found out hes been drinking. I asked hum and he told me yes he has been. He says it has nothing to do with his friend dying though I am not sure that hevrealuzes how it probably does. I have asked him at other times and hes denied it always. I am grateful that he told us, sad that he has so much to deal with already. His therapist suggested he see a psychiatrist to be evaluated to determine if he would benefit from medication at this time. He's very stressed. He's very bright, has 97 avg, has continued go do well in school. I will speak with him. thank you for giving me the words. I don't want to infringe on his privacy or impose on his relationship with his therapist.

I think that's a really good decision. Especially since he trusted you enough to admit that he has been drinking. His therapist will probably work on helping him understand that the drinking is related to his stress and the loss of his friend. But, it will just take some time. That's great that he's still doing well in school - that is often not the case.

Best of luck. Please let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Dr. Autumn
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you. I will. Yes, we are very grateful that he continues to do well in school. He tends to think a lot always. Thank you again.

No problem. Please be sure to give me a positive rating if you are happy with our discussion.
Dr. Autumn
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