(See previous questions for info on my problem) So i have talked through this situation thoroughly today with my girlfriend AND my ex-girlfriends. What i have gathered from them when i asked what they honestly think, they seemed to agree that a frequent issue of mine is that i feel like im "not good enough for them". Also that i tend to quiz them on other boys and their intentions, usually with regard to the other males level of attractiveness and success. Now i have noticed whenever i look at my girlfriend i see how gorgeous she is and i feel that she is better than me. I feel like she is more attractive than i am and i picture her being with a very cliche attractive and interesting man with lots of cool hobbies etc. The strange thing is, i do feel pleased with who i am. I have a great job, i dont think im entirely unattractive and i treat people well and am frequently told i am a lovely person. Could i have poor self esteem or something even though i know i am an ok person?
(I apologize for only being able to offer such a small amount of money, i am a full time Paramedic student and i do not get paid or have any income, i have spent such a large amount on this site already and it is my only source of professional help. Everything in the UK involves long waiting lists and no real immediate help. Once again i apologize and appreciate your help massively)
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I have read through much of your history and I am happy to help you.
Never mind about the low fee. We all have to help each other in this world.
These repetitive thoughts are based on low self-esteem, as you suspected. If you raise your level of confidence, these thoughts will go away.
Judging from your background and accomplishments, you should hold yourself in higher self esteem than you do.
Since you probably would have to stretch your limited budget to do some confidence building therapy sessions, you could still accomplish the same goals by reading a couple of good books that will ENABLE you to increase your self-assessment and confidence.
Finally, you could actually experience the wisdom of Dr. Fennel. in MP3 CD in the following companion item:
If there is any other way that I can assist you, please let me know. I believe that you can retrain yourself to end this cycle.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
I really appreciate your response and i after much deliberation i am inclined to agree that it boils down to my own self esteem, i think i view her as better than me and all attention she recieves from men bolsters this idea further.
One more thing i must ask. Along with working on my self esteem, what would you recommend i do with these obsessive thoughts of her past etc? Should i be keeping distracted rather than indulging in them?