How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Anxiety relationship

This answer was rated:

(See previous questions for info on my problem) So i have talked through this situation thoroughly today with my girlfriend AND my ex-girlfriends. What i have gathered from them when i asked what they honestly think, they seemed to agree that a frequent issue of mine is that i feel like im "not good enough for them". Also that i tend to quiz them on other boys and their intentions, usually with regard to the other males level of attractiveness and success. Now i have noticed whenever i look at my girlfriend i see how gorgeous she is and i feel that she is better than me. I feel like she is more attractive than i am and i picture her being with a very cliche attractive and interesting man with lots of cool hobbies etc. The strange thing is, i do feel pleased with who i am. I have a great job, i dont think im entirely unattractive and i treat people well and am frequently told i am a lovely person. Could i have poor self esteem or something even though i know i am an ok person?


 


(I apologize for only being able to offer such a small amount of money, i am a full time Paramedic student and i do not get paid or have any income, i have spent such a large amount on this site already and it is my only source of professional help. Everything in the UK involves long waiting lists and no real immediate help. Once again i apologize and appreciate your help massively)


Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Dear Curt,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

I have read through much of your history and I am happy to help you.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Never mind about the low fee. We all have to help each other in this world.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

These repetitive thoughts are based on low self-esteem, as you suspected. If you raise your level of confidence, these thoughts will go away.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Judging from your background and accomplishments, you should hold yourself in higher self esteem than you do.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Since you probably would have to stretch your limited budget to do some confidence building therapy sessions, you could still accomplish the same goals by reading a couple of good books that will ENABLE you to increase your self-assessment and confidence.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

One is:

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :
Beat Low Self-Esteem With CBT: Teach Yourself by Christine Wilding and Stephen Palmer
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Another is:

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Dr Melanie Fennell

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Finally, you could actually experience the wisdom of Dr. Fennel. in MP3 CD in the following companion item:

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem: Talks With Your Therapist by Dr Melanie Fennell

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

If there is any other way that I can assist you, please let me know. I believe that you can retrain yourself to end this cycle.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I really appreciate your response and i after much deliberation i am inclined to agree that it boils down to my own self esteem, i think i view her as better than me and all attention she recieves from men bolsters this idea further.


 


One more thing i must ask. Along with working on my self esteem, what would you recommend i do with these obsessive thoughts of her past etc? Should i be keeping distracted rather than indulging in them?

Dear Curtis,

Most definitely keep distracted rather an obsess on things beyond your control

I have yet another good book for you to help you in this regard:


Break Free from OCD: Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with CBT
by Dr. Fiona Challacombe, Dr. Victoria Bream Oldfield and Paul M Salkovskis

and a second one as well:

The Ocd Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Bruce Hyman and Cherry Pedrick

both available at www.amazon.co.uk and elsewhere

I wish you a joyous holiday season and God's blessings.


Warm regards,

Elliott

Related Mental Health Questions