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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Anxiety relationship

Resolved Question:

(See previous questions for info on my problem) So i have talked through this situation thoroughly today with my girlfriend AND my ex-girlfriends. What i have gathered from them when i asked what they honestly think, they seemed to agree that a frequent issue of mine is that i feel like im "not good enough for them". Also that i tend to quiz them on other boys and their intentions, usually with regard to the other males level of attractiveness and success. Now i have noticed whenever i look at my girlfriend i see how gorgeous she is and i feel that she is better than me. I feel like she is more attractive than i am and i picture her being with a very cliche attractive and interesting man with lots of cool hobbies etc. The strange thing is, i do feel pleased with who i am. I have a great job, i dont think im entirely unattractive and i treat people well and am frequently told i am a lovely person. Could i have poor self esteem or something even though i know i am an ok person?


 


(I apologize for only being able to offer such a small amount of money, i am a full time Paramedic student and i do not get paid or have any income, i have spent such a large amount on this site already and it is my only source of professional help. Everything in the UK involves long waiting lists and no real immediate help. Once again i apologize and appreciate your help massively)

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Dear Curt,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

I have read through much of your history and I am happy to help you.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Never mind about the low fee. We all have to help each other in this world.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

These repetitive thoughts are based on low self-esteem, as you suspected. If you raise your level of confidence, these thoughts will go away.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Judging from your background and accomplishments, you should hold yourself in higher self esteem than you do.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Since you probably would have to stretch your limited budget to do some confidence building therapy sessions, you could still accomplish the same goals by reading a couple of good books that will ENABLE you to increase your self-assessment and confidence.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

One is:

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :
Beat Low Self-Esteem With CBT: Teach Yourself by Christine Wilding and Stephen Palmer
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Another is:

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Dr Melanie Fennell

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Finally, you could actually experience the wisdom of Dr. Fennel. in MP3 CD in the following companion item:

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem: Talks With Your Therapist by Dr Melanie Fennell

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

If there is any other way that I can assist you, please let me know. I believe that you can retrain yourself to end this cycle.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I really appreciate your response and i after much deliberation i am inclined to agree that it boils down to my own self esteem, i think i view her as better than me and all attention she recieves from men bolsters this idea further.


 


One more thing i must ask. Along with working on my self esteem, what would you recommend i do with these obsessive thoughts of her past etc? Should i be keeping distracted rather than indulging in them?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear Curtis,

Most definitely keep distracted rather an obsess on things beyond your control

I have yet another good book for you to help you in this regard:


Break Free from OCD: Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with CBT
by Dr. Fiona Challacombe, Dr. Victoria Bream Oldfield and Paul M Salkovskis

and a second one as well:

The Ocd Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder by Bruce Hyman and Cherry Pedrick

both available at www.amazon.co.uk and elsewhere

I wish you a joyous holiday season and God's blessings.


Warm regards,

Elliott

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