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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5776
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I found out on Tuesday for sure that my Husband is have an

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I found out on Tuesday for sure that my Husband is have an affair. I called him at work and said to him "you and Krystle are having an affair" he said to me "no we are not" and hung up the phone. I have not heard from him since he only has the clothes that he had on and he does not have his medication unless he went to the pharmacy to have them refilled. I sent him a text message on Saturday morning that said "When are you going to find your balls and talk to me" I have had no response from him. I am thinking about changing the locks on the house tomorrow because I do not want him to come here when I am not home to get his things. Should I do this. My husband and I need to talk!!
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like you and your husband need to talk. You need to work out what is going on in your marriage and how to repair it. And even if things do not work out, your marriage still deserves the attention so you can work out how to end it.

It is understandable that you feel as you do now. You are deeply hurt. If your husband has had an affair, then he has betrayed you and took away your ability to trust him. And by not coming home, he has not given you the chance to work on this situation with him so you are left to cope on your own.

Unless you feel strongly about not letting your husband come back home, then changing the locks is most likely not a good idea. You are sending the message that you no longer want him in the home and that in all likelihood your marriage is over. Although your feelings tell you to do this, you deserve to know what happened to your marriage and letting him back in may be the only way to do that.

The most important thing you need right now is support. Consider talking to friends and family you can trust to support you. Also, think about seeing a counselor. You need the support and a counselor can help you and your husband find answers, if he is willing to go. And by having a counselor already, you increase the chances that once your husband comes home, you can work on your marriage together.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Thank you very much for the positive rating and bonus! I appreciate it.

Hang in there. This is a difficult time. You deserve all the support you can get.

Kate