Welcome to Just answer !
Well i am sorry to learn about this problem of yours, but i will like to bring to light that the erection problem that your partner is suffering from is clinically described as Performance anxiety
, which is defined as inability to have or sustain erection in order to have a successful intercourse which in turn resulst from stress
/ hightened anxiety .
And one of the main causes of perfromance anxiety is a new relationship / new sexual partner as the person is overwhelmed with the feeling of making the sex as good as possible and this adds
to too much of tension which weighs on his mind while doing intercourse thereby leading to failure of erection / inability to sustain it for completing a successful sexual intercourse.
So all in all your intuition is right that his erection problem is most likely psychological , defined as performance anxiety, with the background reason being him taking too much stressover performing well in sex to satisfy your and give you pleasure..
Now this peformance anxiety can be dealt with by taking a proactive role during sex to put him to ease , ask him to take the back seat and let you take the initiate stimulation and sexual activity , once he is assured that you understand and are willing to take on the active role during sex, he will become relaxed , put aside his apprehension and tension and then eventually will come on his own and have a good erection to make the sex happen as per his own satisfaction.Also tell him that having sex is not a test of his endurance or sexual power so he should give away with his own expectations and try to only seek pleasure from this spending as much time as possible on foreplay and building intimacy with you and leave everything else aside.
So kindly adopt this strategy as explained above , take the lead and let him take his time to relax and try to build up more rapport and trust with you which are essential to take your sexual relationship forward towards a better more fulfilling sex life.
If after trying this strategy for a stipulated time period , say 1 month, he still is unable to feel comfortable and succumbs to performance anxiety then i will suggest that you two shall seek Sex therapy from a sex therapist/ clinical psychologist to work on this performance anxoiety issue.
Yes to relax his nerves a bit during sex , he may be started on a low dose of an anti anxiety drug like klonopin ( clonazepam ) at low dose of 0.25 mg twice a day for 2-3 weeks then stopping it . This drug will ensure control over his anxiety which precipitates during sex thereby helping him to concentrate more on sex and not on the result of sexual gratification in the end.
He may get this drug prescribed to him from his family doctor.
I hope this helps..
Wish you all the best.
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