My name is XXXXXXX XXX I am the Moderator for this topic. Jean is not available right now, but I have sent her a message to follow up with you here, when she comes back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience!
Jean - are you there? I am online now.
Hey, ok, me too.
Hey Jean. Are you by any chance still online?
Jean - if I miss you, I am just looking for two things. Well, three things.
First, I cannot find the transcript of our chat earlier? Normally before they were always here. I was going to go back and review what you said.
Second, to finish, so what I have to do is put him totally out of my mind and just put it behind me? That is so incredibly hard. Because I will always occasionally be stumbling over something in my email box or whatever, and be reminded of how close we were...but it is like he is a completely different person now, and I am not...so I am not really sure how to do this.
Third, he loaned me $400 when I really really needed it a few months ago. he said at the time he was completely broke but would be glad to do it to help me. Even then we talked like normal humans, but now he makes me feel like I am stalking him. Seriously, how can this be after everything we went through together? He was the one who always said that he wanted to stay friends. It just sucks.
Maybe I should have said four things. I wonder where you can get one of those flashy things from Men in Black that would erase my memory? I just cannot believe he would still be so much on my heart and in my head so much later...even after I have been to the mental hospital, even after I have (subsequently) dated some other guys...why, why, why???
I just wonder if there is any possibility that he will ever drift back. I don't feel like I am hanging on to anything right now...more that I am mourning and still grasping for explanations. But I wonder if it is at all possible that sometime in the future he will be back?
Have I been stalkery to him? I haven't, have I?
And do you think he misses me? I mean, how could he not? He would be heartless.
I have to tell you, I have sort of an unfortunate role model in my mother. She met my dad when he was married. She did not know he was married until his wife at the time started writing her threatening letters. I am condensing greatly here, but basically, she called and dropped him like he was hot, even though she was completely in love with him. About four years later, she happened to be in the town where she'd met him, and just out of curiousity, she called his business, where he had worked when they first met. By this time, he was divorced. They dated for several years and when they got engaged, he sent her a single red rose every day (including Sundays) between the time they got engaged and the time they got married. So maybe I have false hope that these things can work out. And maybe the bar has been set really high for what I am looking for.
Mom says in the intervening years, she never stopped loving my dad, but that she went on with her life, dated other people, etc. Everyone keeps telling me to get on with my life. I am not even sure what that means.
In any event, if you have time to answer my questions above and just lmk your opinion on stuff, I would really appreciate it.
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