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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I suffer from social anxiety disorder and depression, for which

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I suffer from social anxiety disorder and depression, for which I take medication. My condition has crippled my social life and has resulted in my inability to date and hold a normal conversation with a woman. (I'm a man, age 29).

Tonight I had a phone conversation for the first time with a woman whom I have a romantic interest in. We had been communication exclusively via Text messaging and this was our first phone conversation.

Becasue I was so worried about what I was supposed to say... the conversation ended abruptly with me saying that I had to go. She text me back saying she felt like an idiot in revealing a problem she had to me because of my inability to say anything.

I feel embarassed and worried she sees me as a creep and a looser. What can I say to her to regain her confidence in me that I am someone who really likes her and is really interested in her?

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

The best you can do is to tell that you have social anxiety, and are working on the problem. Ask for her understanding and ability and tell her how much empathy you have for her problem.

Customer:

I could very well tell her. But I fear doing so would open up Pandora's box and she will view me as some sort of weirdo. Keep in mind she is a very outgoing, extroverted person. So would revealing this to her leave me over exposed?

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

If she is a truly caring and understanding person she will appreciate your frankness and this would be a plus. She has been offended by your lack of response, and only a credible and truthful explanation will stand a chance of winning back her trust in you.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

What medication are you taking and does it help you?

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Are you doing any counseling as well? This is essential in my estimation.

Customer:

My Physcriatrist prescribed me daily 'Imiprimaine' and lexapro, plus xanax for intense moments of anxiety for social situations. So yes, I am under the care of a physhiatrist. The medication (besides the xanax dos help, but if I had to go out on a date and eat in a public restuarant, I would have to take a high dosage of xanax to get through it -- heavily sedated.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

What about counseling? You are taking drugs now that can suppress the symptom but you need to get at the base of the problem? Those triggers must be addressed, and you must actually PRACTICE appropriate response techniques.

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