Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
The best you can do is to tell that you have social anxiety, and are working on the problem. Ask for her understanding and ability and tell her how much empathy you have for her problem.
I could very well tell her. But I fear doing so would open up Pandora's box and she will view me as some sort of weirdo. Keep in mind she is a very outgoing, extroverted person. So would revealing this to her leave me over exposed?
If she is a truly caring and understanding person she will appreciate your frankness and this would be a plus. She has been offended by your lack of response, and only a credible and truthful explanation will stand a chance of winning back her trust in you.
What medication are you taking and does it help you?
Are you doing any counseling as well? This is essential in my estimation.
My Physcriatrist prescribed me daily 'Imiprimaine' and lexapro, plus xanax for intense moments of anxiety for social situations. So yes, I am under the care of a physhiatrist. The medication (besides the xanax dos help, but if I had to go out on a date and eat in a public restuarant, I would have to take a high dosage of xanax to get through it -- heavily sedated.
What about counseling? You are taking drugs now that can suppress the symptom but you need to get at the base of the problem? Those triggers must be addressed, and you must actually PRACTICE appropriate response techniques.