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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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So there is this guy i started talking to back in july and

Customer Question

So there is this guy i started talking to back in july and after a month of just talking and hanging out at his work a few times we started a casual fwb thing. we've been seeing each other once a week on average. At the beginning we both agreed we didnt want anything to emotional or to serous since i just got out of a four year relationship and he has a son and has had issues in the past. Anyways about a few weeks ago more things did start to develop he started saying things like hes been thinking about me and that I'm the first girl he's been truly intimate with and that he likes it. Since nether of us had our own place we where planning on getting a hotel for a night but he had to cancel since he couldnt get anyone for his son. I completly understood and didnt get mad. the past few days tho i havent heard anything from him and he has been known to have his phone shut off and such but my question is is it possible that he may have freaked him self out with how close we where getting?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

He may be a bit reticent but that doesn't mean he has thrown you away.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

There may be other reasons as well.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Let this relationship unfold slowly, at its own pace.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

He has awakened in a spiritual/emotional away and this has been a bit of a shock to his system. It is not what he wanted, but probably because he was frightened by previous experiences.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

However,you can't un-ring the bell.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

How do you feel about him?

Customer:

he has told me about his exs cheating on him

Customer:

and i like him alot

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

This is the beginning of something very good, it seems.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Remember the old song "You can't hurry love"

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Accept his pace and don't question if. I thing this looks very positive.

Customer:

yeah it just seemed as im starting to feel for him too but havent pushed for anything i lose communication part of me thinks its his phone but i cant be 100%

Customer:

ok

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

He may not even know why he is hesitant, and he may also have a technical phone issue.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

Just accept him without question for now. He probably had enough questioning and difficulty in the past and you are a pleasant alternative.

Customer:

yeah i kinda hope so this whole thing is kinda new i haven really dated before the last guy i was with ive been with since high school so starting a new relationship as an adult is sorta weird for me

Customer:

so should i just give him time and hope he get back to talking to me bc ive just been sending one message a day just saying "hey" or "hows it going?" and i get nothing should i stop that to?

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

You will get used to it. He seems like a decent man, not pushy, and quite sincere.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

No. In case that he has some technical difficulty he will see that you have not lost faith in him.

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

You have nothing to lose.

Customer:

ok that makes since

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC :

If he is seeing the message he will come around if he is real.

Customer:

ok that makes me feel better

Customer:

thanks

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.