Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
Happy to help you with this.
In reading what you have written and relying on over 30 years of experience working with couples- I am sorry to deliver the news that what you have related does not sound like a healthy relationship ------at all.
I know you "love" here- but this is not love.
When you enter a relationship feeling insecure you are most often going to attract someone who is not secure within themselves and this is what I see here.
There is no MAGIC WAND that will make this all better or quick solutions other than you educating yourself about the traits of a healthy relationship====compare with what you now have and see that you may have to make a difficult choice as to whether this is really the right relationship for you.
The traits of a healthy relationship are listed here:
If these traits are not present or lacking then you will know the areas that need work. IF your needs are not being met in this relationship-then you have to make a choice.
You deserve to have a good- healthy relationship. The only one you can change is yourself--
If you have any comments or would like to respond please do- I am happy to help.