Hello, my 6 yr old child (end August) is the youngest in a class where most children are born before March. At home, he behaves well - occasionally fighting with his older sister (shouting not hitting) but generally a very happy boy. Also at his after school classes (gym, swimming and football) and at his friends' houses (as well as at my friends and family's houses) he behaves very well. He has a best friend at school who adores him and whom he adores. Problem is things are not good at school. During most of Reception and half of yr 1 he refused to do much work and would often shout at the teachers if they asked him to do anything (shut up, go away, I hate you, you're stupid). I found this out for the first time last NOvember, at which point I started working with him at home. The result is that by January he was the only child in his class who could write in cursive script and he seems to be a very bright boy (apparently with reading and numeracy skills well above age level) and picks things up extremely quickly. Things have got better in this respect and he is now on top tables in maths and literacy and generally engages in the work, even though the work he produces at school is still not up to the standard he produces at home on his own. MOre of a problem, however, is that he still has anger outbursts at school which consist of shouting loudly (shut up, I hate you etc) at other pupils and occasionally at the teachers too, and sometimes tips over chairs when he is very cross. There is a child with behavioural issues in his class and I was concerned my child was copying him. I told the teachers this and they have acknowledged this is a problem, but it seemed to get better. In fact, during the first 7 weeks of this term he behaved extremely well and his teacher said he was like a different child. HOwever, he has started getting cross again over the last few weeks and his teachers say they don't know why and he doesn't explain why, but it's all over quickly. My concern is that when I ask him what happened, he tells me other children have been horrible to him, saying he's stupid, laughing at him, calling him names (idiot, baby, you're my worst nightmare etc) and not letting him join their games. I actually saw one boy physically push him away so decided to check out the situation. Without telling other parents the details, I asked a couple of them to ask their children what they saw in class and I was horrified to hear that in fact what my child tells me is true and worse. THe teachers now suggest my child needs anger management, which I am happy to do, but I am concerned that this does not address the nascent bulleying behaviour which triggers his outburst. I have also asked him why he does not tell the teacher and he just says he forgets to, but my suspicion is that he doesn't want to tell the teacher the horrible thinge being said to him because it hurts him. Also, this last week a classroom assistant and a supply teacher approached me separately to say that the other boy's behaviour I mentioned above is very bad for my son .
I should add my son is quite young for his age (immature perhaps) and slight in stature. He can also be very silly, likes putting on shows and doing silly jokes, while many of the other kids in his class like playing football, have xboxes and seem generally older. I fear that, apart from his best friend (who can also be very silly but is otherwise very well behaved in class) , he may not feel part of the Group and his class mates feel the same abut him
I suspect my child needs help to express the distress he feels -please advise me as to what to do