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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5401
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My husband has now been confirmed to have FTLD and I am totally

Resolved Question:

My husband has now been confirmed to have FTLD and I am totally unsure as to the way forward. He isn't motivated to do anything much, he sleeps untill mid day most days. I can't motivate him anymore and I don't really know if I am supposed to. Should I just leave him if he is happy? He isn't involved much wth ur business and I have been left to run it on my own(I do have 2 staff members) for 2 years and I am just not sure if I should sell the business or carry on trying to keep it afloat and adise the clients he is retiring. Nobody seems to want to come up with advice and I get told all the time that I need to do what is best for me. I don't really even know what is best for me and I am battling to focus on that as if I do I get behind with the business. He is quite happy to sit in a chair at home with my mother who is staying with me after having a stroke. Is there any help out there with ideas.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

You are caught in a very difficult situation. With your husband ill and caring for your mother plus running a business, making big decisions can feel very overwhelming. It is natural to want help so you can know you are making the right choice for you and your family.

What can help is to take steps to resolve the decisions you have to make. The first step is to decide what to do about your husband. It sounds like you have all the information you need except one important piece, what to do with how he is acting. If he wants to stay at home and is content sleeping and spending time with your mom and you've tried to motivate him and can't, then you have tried your best. What may help is to check with his doctor about whether or not this behavior is normal for his diagnosis and if there is any therapy he may benefit from. If not, then it becomes a question of how much help you need in order to care for him. Explore options with his doctor to see if help is available. Also contact any local health agencies and explore the internet for ideas.

The second decision is about your business. To decide what to do, you first need to ask yourself if you want to continue the business. Is it making you money? Does it help improve your life? Do you feel happy about working? If so, it may help to stay. If not, then consider selling the business.

Another idea is to lay out all the facts. Write them out on paper with one side for one choice and the other side for the other choice. For example, to decide what to do about your business, write on one side "good income" on the other write something you find difficult about the business. Keep going until you run out of facts. Then see which column is longer. Also, talk to people who can help you decide. Your attorney can help you figure out the legal aspects of selling, your accountant can help with the income and cost of selling. With those facts, you can make a better decision.

Here is a link to help you with more ideas about making decisions on your own:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-right/201207/five-steps-better-ethical-decision-making


I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5401
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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