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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 792
Experience:  Specializing in mental health counseling
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Hi, I am having problems with my girlfriend of 10 years. We

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Hi, I am having problems with my girlfriend of 10 years. We have been living together for the last 7 years. She is 42 and I am 36. 6 years ago she was diagnosed with endometriosis. Every month she goes through hell with her periods and I want to know if there is a link between her endometriosis and her violent moodswings. She is oten extremely irriatble and she flys into rages on a regular basis. This is happening more frequently these days wheas before her mood swinngs and rages were less frequent. Im not sure who to talk to about this but it is destroying our relationship. We have tried IVF treatment twice during the last year but this has not worked. Every time I try to talk to my partner about her erratic moods she flys into a rage. I'm not sure if I can cope with being with her anymore. Do you have any advice? Or do you know if there is somebidy that I can speak to about this?
Hi there,

I can understand how difficult this situation is for you both. There is a connection between endometriosis and mood swings, especially during menstruation - it's not always the case, but when it happens, the mood swings can be violent. So I can see why you're saying you feel like you can't cope any more - and I can also see that talking about it is not only spinning your wheels in the mud, it's exacerbating your problems. I would avoid talking about this with her for the time being, because she can't do anything consciously to control the way she's acting because it's hormonally-related - and avoid talking about sensitive topics especially right before or while she has her period. I'm sure you're already familiar with the symptoms, but just in case, you might want to look this information over:
It's not easy to deal with these symptoms, and it can be depressing for women who have to go through it.

Although she can't control the way she's feeling, you also shouldn't have to feel like a victim, either. It may mean that you need to spend time apart while she's experiencing these symptoms, at least in the short term, until she can get help - if she's willing. You can suggest these options to her if she has not already tried them, during a time when she's feeling calm and relaxed. Many women find certain natural stress relief techniques helpful - such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga or doing anything that can help reduce her feelings of depression, anxiety and stress. (sdee here:

And some women experience relief from mood swings (and other symptoms) from antidepressants, so she should speak to her doctor about this possibility. While it's not really proven by scientific evidence, some women also experience benefits (such as reduced pain and reduced mood symptoms) from alternative techniques like acupuncture or homeopathy.

As far as your own difficulties with the situation, try to be as supportive as possible, participate in your own methods of stress relief and get support from friends or family if possible - but keep your distance when you notice that she's feeling more tense or irritable. Just try to stay out of her way. And you might wish to speak to a counselor so you have some support, someone to vent to and someone who might be able to help you the situation. If you are interested, you can find a therapist in your area on these websites:

Good luck. Please let me know if you have any further questions.
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