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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Hello! I have always dealt with low self-esteem and self-confidence.

Resolved Question:

Hello!

I have always dealt with low self-esteem and self-confidence. Lately, it has come to the point of making me feel exhausted, mentally and physically. I feel inadequate, unworthy, useless, dull, vacuous, unattractive. I don't know what to do with my life and it is wearing me out. I have no pleasure in doing things I used to enjoy. I avoid meeting friends, because I don't want to be brought down by their success and apparent wellbeing. I'm apathetic and sometimes downright unpleasant towards my boyfriend and family. And worst of all, I don't dare to discuss this with anybody, because I am ashamed for feeling this way. So many other persons have more acute problems than I do, that the intention of addressing someone for help makes me feel absurd.

How can I be helped?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It is very encouraging that you are reaching out for help right now, which is the best indication that you can feel better. Anytime you reach out and share what you feel (no matter how you do it), it is a positive sign.

It sounds like your first therapy experience was not a good one. That can be discouraging. It sometimes happens that you see a therapist who is not a good match. Because of that, I encourage you to try again. It can help a lot to try to find someone through a referral. Ask your doctor, friends, family etc to help you find someone. Or you can search on line. Many therapists will describe their perspective of therapy so you can get an idea of what they are like before you call. Also, here is a link to help you find a good therapist:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you

As you described your symptoms, it sounds like you may have depression.
Depression is characterized by feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, lack of energy or motivation, sometimes thoughts of death and/or suicide and trouble concentrating. It is common to feel there is no hope and no way out.

Motivation is a very difficult symptom of depression. It often keeps people from helping themselves and reaching out to others. But support and self help are vital in helping you overcome depression. Consider support groups, either on line or in person. People who are experiencing the same symptoms as you are can offer invaluable support, ideas and companionship to help you feel better. Also, working on your depression at home can supplement your therapy or other treatment. Here are resources to help you get started:

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Depression/Support_Groups/

http://depression.supportgroups.com/

http://www.nami.org/

http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

Once you are able to reach out, you will start to feel better. Let others support you and offer help. You do not have to do this alone.

Also, you can work on your self esteem through self help along with therapy. Here are some resources to help:

Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning

The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence by Nathaniel Branden


I hope this has helped you,
Kate



May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Can I help you any further?

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Kate, yes.


 


Do you think if change my surroundings, for example, move somewhere else, it might help shake these feelings of inadequacy I have?


 


Thanks for answering.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

It may. If you feel that your surroundings might be part of why you feel as you do, which is very possible in some cases (such as living near abusive parents, bad environment, etc), then it is a good idea to try new surroundings to see if it helps you feel better. But if there is no history or circumstances that are causing how you feel, then moving may help temporarily but then your feelings most likely will return.

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
3899 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.