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Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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my son is 22 years old. he will be graduating from college

Resolved Question:

my son is 22 years old. he will be graduating from college in December. He told me that he has thoughts of harming other people since he was a young age. Throughout his childhood he had no friends and was what I thought was shyness. He does not hear voices but he can walk past a complete stranger and the urge to hurt them appears.
I myself I'm on Cymbalta and elivil and xanax for the past 6 yrs due to generalized anxiety disorder. He does however care about pets. He is very good with all the dog's we have ever had and has taken their deaths hard. But if a grandparent or family member dies he does not shed a tear. Suicide has crossed his mind but he doesn't want to hurt me or his dad. But if we were to die he has said he probably wouldn't shed a tear. Please tell me what I should do.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 1 year ago.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I am available to try and answer your questions.

Customer:

Great, I'm Lisa and my son is the one I'm worried about

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I'm sure you are concerned. That your son has not acted on this tells me at this point is just "thoughts". It's a big step that after so much time he has finally told someone.

Customer:

He told me because he was explaining to other family members that he does care about animals but not humans. When ask how about your mother and father he said he would miss us but would not feel any mourning or shed a tear.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

As far as you know he has not acted on these thoughts. He may have anxiety, and or issues with his mood, and it has manifested in this way. Would he be willing to talk to a counselor or psychologist? What he may be experiencing is irritability, agitation, anger and it shows in this way.

Customer:

I do have generalized anxiety disorder and have been on cymbolta and elivil for 6 years and also xanax when my heart races and I'm really upset. Like right now. I would like him to see a psychologist and maybe be put on medication. Counselors would no doubt help but I don't believe I could get him to do that. He also is a perfect student and graduated high school with a 4.5 average and also made the deans list in college. He never goes out with friends ever. Thank you so much for your help. Please help.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

He may be covering a sensitivity with the hard and cold comments. Sometimes it's more the opposite of what one is saying, but he has shut himself off from that part- to protect self. He may be anxious, fearful, afraid of losing others. Relationships may create anxiety for him, and people annoy and irritate him. Maybe social anxiety? I'd say the hardness is more of a protective "shield".

Customer:

What should I do now that I know this?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Continue to talk to him, ask questions, making it okay and safe for him to share how he feels. Have you shared your experience with anxiety with him?

Customer:

Yes I have. He lives near his school by himself. He goes to WVU tech in Montgomery WV in a new mobile home we bought him for graduation. Nobody at school knows he even lives 5 minutes from school because he doesn't want them to visit. He lives 45 minutes from our home and as far as anyone knows he travels. I thought this was odd for a 22 year old living alone with no friends over ever. This is his 5th year in this nice mobile home community. I would fill alot better if he could talk to someone face to face.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

That he has these thoughts does not mean he intends to or will act on them. Is there any one person he's close to? You could set up an appointment for yourself for counseling and ask that he come with you- often these things are best addressed involving other family members. You could tell him it's to help you and it would help you if he would join you. Telling him you are concerned, worried, and asking how you or other family could help him -is something to consider. A hospital psych. unit would likely not admit him unless he makes a threat to harm self or others.

Customer:

me. but again he would not mourn my death. He didn't say this for attention he didn't even know we were listening. Do you know a doctor in the Charleston WV area.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Asking him to see someone to ease your mind- telling him this creates a lot of concern and worry for you. There would be more concern if he tells you of a plan to harm someone, or a previous "attempt" or plan to harm someone. Fleeting thoughts does not mean one will act on them- and if he's felt or thought this way since a young age- again it's "thoughts" no pattern of harm to people nor animals.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I do not know of a specific doctor near you. If you go to the psychology today website there is a tab to find a therapist, psychologist in your area.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

As a parent myself, I would certainly want a professional to "take a look at him" ask the important questions.

Customer:

thank you very much for your time I will find a therapist for both of us.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

You are welcome- it's good he shared this and can get the support he needs- a cry for help maybe.

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
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