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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi for steve olsen pls. hi steve. i have officially started

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hi for steve olsen pls.
hi steve. i have officially started my 1st week of maternity leave and no baby yet, over the weekend went to colleens baby shower. the babys still in the nicu and is hopefully to come home this week. jen came to the shower - she texted me before and i just answered yes n ok. i got there n saw other girls from work - i brought kate with me since rob was cleaning the fireplace. (usually someone else brings a kid, but turns out it was just me. woops.) so jen came n no one had sat next to kate yet so she sat next to her. i talked w others n it was fine, kate wasnt perfectly behaved but, not too bad. jens chair broke - not in 2 pieces like 5 - and she ended up on the floor on her back legs in the air. omg. we helped her up n the catering hall seemed concerned. i told her i ll call my lawyer stay right there...

yest i did my food shopping trying to replace some stuff to start rebulding food we lost. $450 later my fridge is full but my freezer is only half full n the garage freezer is empty. . just shows that i know i had 1k worth of food.... but i always buy on sale. when rob threw out the garage freezer he told me i had 10 diff pork, beef, turkey tenderloins.
anyway im not rushing to fill that freezer again. who knows how much power well have during the winter. plus since i already spent so much.. its kind of enuff.
we stopped home from the warehouse club to put stuff away n then to go out to the meat store. kate was dancing around me i need a ba ba. i said ok, kept putting stuff away. she gets a bottle from the diaper bag n says like this one. i said kate i know what a ba ba is. wiseass. so rob went to the bathroom n i get out her milk- i went to put it down n it fell off the counter - i tried to grab it mid air n think i made it worse. it sprayed all over boxes of new things we just got plus a puddle plus the cabinets n it went across the kitchen to the fridge. n its not the whole half gallon spilled i picked it up with alot left in it. so of course im like oh crap. kate goes running to rob in the bathroom n i hear her come quick mommy needs help. he came running i called to him im ok - he came in started to help, as he was "helping" he picked up a bag of stuffing n the bag just broke. n the whole thing poured onto the kitchen floor. i looked at him like really rob? kate yells oh shit. as i tell her quick go get grandma, cuz obviously rob n i cant handle this. i mean look at us. (grandma wasnt there but i figured i needed to call a supervisor..) rob says i cant believe this. n we did clean up, but geez. we still laughed about kates oh shit. rob said it was going to happen sooner or later, i said look i was going to say it myself...

i had called my mom about thanksgiving said ill make mash potatoes n gravy (what i always make..) n she said no youre 9 months preg - u have enuff problems just bring urself. she later called again n left a message... if you want make ur rice pudding. if u cant u cant. but if u feel up to it then make it. luckily she told me before i finished my food shopping. when i told her about the baby being too big she said yeah they told me the same with u . youll be fine n kind of brushed mie off. i thought to myself i dont know why i talk to her really. i thought possibly she wud have some empathy considering she had hard labor with me - my bro was a scheduled c section - n i said i dont want a c section n she said no one does... i was like oh yeah like compared to the awful vag delivery i had n she had 2 c sections as did my mil. they didnt breast feed either.. (i kinda feel like they both had the easy way out really. ) n then theyre looking at me like whats the big deal?
im actually worried ill need a bladder sling n vag mesh put if i have this one vaginally. i dont know which is the lesser evils. i think the c section as i wont have anytime left to be out on a med leave if i need that done. n ive worked w nurses that have had it done to really traumatic vag deliveries like kate n this humongous fetus i have here.
either way i just dont want to be preg anymore. my ob never called back fri n im mad about that. i just dont know how to approach all this now. i feel like telling him like f**k urself ill find another ob.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

That is the trouble with baby delivery dates. They always seem so inaccurate. But, you did work as long as you could. And, you do know it will be soon. I am voting for the weekend of Thanksgiving...Friday or Sunday.

 

I am glad to hear about Colleen's baby coming home...and Jen sitting in a chair and having it go to pieces? That is wild. I am sure the catering hall was concerned. That is a safety issue and I am sure Jen is not 350+. BTW: Lots of women bring kids to baby showers. Kate is sweet. Besides she gave some perspective as a real live outcome of childrearing! I think it was nice you brought her.

 

Isn't it just peachy when you start to hear your self in your kid's words? Hey, at least she used the word in context correctly. And, it was perfectly timed and more than appropriate for the situation. You know. I still cannot figure out why things like cascades of disasters all happen at once. Why is it that milk and stuffing and all of that have to coincide? It makes no sense at all except as some huge experiment in emotional tolerance. I have been in Rob's shoes many times so I can't really say too much. I come in to help and make things worse. It is a male thing, I swear it is.

 

No matter how you look at it the Hurricane was so costly to you. Emotionally it was tough as well as physically. Now it is expensive and you know that stuff in the big freezer was just the most costly as you bough it on sale and now cannot possibly replace all of it at that same cost. I would say easy it was 1k worth of loss. That is expensive food all of that meat and what can you do at this point? Not much. You take the loss and move on. Still it is difficult, big time.

 

The unknowns about your pregnancy are hard to endure. Plus, you know way too much about trauma and delivery. I read your description of all the mess that could happen and thought, wow...no wonder you feel so stressed. You have all these thoughts of what might happen. The best news here is that things never happen as you expect. You may have a c section or you might simply deliver this child normally. I am not sure if you ever talk much about that, but that is a distinct possibility. You have had a child before, and large baby or not you have a good shot at normal delivery.

 

Your ob sounds awful. I can understand why you would want to get rid of them. They act as if you are a non-concern. Any one would feel upset by that! And mom, well no surprises there about her ability to be helpful. She was about as helpful as Rob was in the milk spilling incident.

 

Look, I know it is really hard to be positive about this impeding birth. But you rarely talk about the real possibility that this will all work out. You either have yourself literally falling apart into pieces or having a c section and running out of time, etc. Reality is that none of this will occur as you think and many circumstances, many good ones, can also occur. We said this same thing about your licensing issue and all that worked out exceedingly well.

 

I will pray for you that everything turns out well. I can see that you are anxious and worried and are going to a bad place in your thoughts a lot now. Yes, it is time to have the baby, but it is also time for you to be good to you and to be positive about this upcoming birth. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.

well the new crisis is that while the couch came in... n has been sitting at thomasville since nov1st.. the dining set chairs will be delayed to ship until the 19th - dec 19th. so to me it sounds like they wont be here for christmas. the guy said well it takes a few days for them to come here n well turn them around immediately for you..i mean are they going to deliver on dec 24th? he said the cocktail table has been discontinued n he eartagged the cocktail table in the showroom, but i feel like.. its not a new table. the dining table and china cabinet are "on their way " in transit. so i m like well, if i dont have chairs its kinda like well then what? this wasnt an issue - he said 4 weeks. its 4 weeks now. and only the fabric for the chairs is in. so i said well brian, why is it theyre not shipping til the 19th? i mean if theyll be here ill schedule the delivery for the 20th or whatever. he said oh theyll be shipped from them the 19th. so i said well how are they going to be on time? he said well itll be close. i said well i wanted this in time for christmas and said that. i ordered in oct. then tell me its not def guaranteed or whatnot. and steve im just so pissed. i feel like its like one person or another is dicking me around. so now we spent all that money and i wont have the set anyway. so dont deliver any of it. i dont need it. he said you dont have chairs? i said no i just bought 3k worth of chairs didnt i? yeah i have a whole brand new dining set. i just bought this for no reason? i mean what are we talking about? he said well the storm..it delayed everyones lives 2 weeks... i said the storm affected here. not north carolina or whatever. they didnt get hit. what r we talking about? did i just fall off the turnip truck?


and im tired of trying to make everything in time for christmas and it just doesnt happen. like i shud start working on christmas of 2013 on the 26th of this year to see if i can make the f**king deadline somehow. so the guy says well its at least on its way... yeah but i dont need it the 26th. it can come any f**king day then. i mean i want it b/c i hate the chairs we have now honestly. they kill my back n are ugly as hell. like oh heres everything but the chairs. oh ok well all stand and eat dinner.


 


i cant even believe it. of course i tried to call rob but cant get him.


 


so this brian salesguy said hell call them again next week n try to rush them etc. he said at least its not like theyre discontinued and now u have the table n no chairs. i said well i wouldnt because i wouldnt buy the table n have no chairs. i mean wtf. seriously?


he said well ive had people had to change their choice due to things being discontinued.


well itd be good you tell me that before i give you 4k towards a 10k order n u cant get it?


 


anyway i just called stanley myself to find out if the table is discontinued and whats up with the chairs why is it taking so long? n what else can be done to hurry this up? they confirmed its the 21st not even the 19th. so to me its sounding pretty bleak. my only hope is that the lady on the phone i named hope btw that i can actually persuade stanley to make the chairs n ship them in time. she sent an email to customer relations n they are to contact me. i figure its not happening so if i can ask stanley all they can say is no at this point. what ill do for chairs for 10 people. i dont feel like buying 6 folding chairs or something b/c i only have kitchen chairs. besides the way it will look which is def less than great for 16k worth of furniture. i dont know how i can work so hard for everything and i cant get it to work out steve. i just cant.


 


the cocktail table is discontinued. and i didnt look over the table at the store, it didnt have any obvious defect but, i didnt look it over saying well were buying this one so i better make sure its ok.


 


n the guy brian smart enough asked me about ordering table pads for $299 that are custom made for the dining table. so i said yeah add it in.. figuring i had to get them etc.. and then told me all this and i already agreed to it and then he told me all this bad news. he of course babbled me all up about the storm and were we ok? and did we have damage? (this guy had the personality of a wet mop. cant believe hes a salesman. so i shudve known soemthing was up that he was trying to talk to me. ) ive lost all my pizzazz. my looks, street smarts everything. im the jerk who actually believed some1 cared that my house didnt fall down when it was just an ass kissing attempt.


 


as far as jen.. well shes def 250+... so the chair crumbling under her... n ill tell u the truth i had the thought.. better her than me. i dont usually think that or wish that... but well i did that time.


 


as far as kate cursing, it was funny only b/c i actually held back aware little ears were there... but if it was me alone or rob.. oh shit wudve been my sentiment exactly.


we curse alot in the er... so its a bad habit. you hear alot of f**k that.. nd this guys an asshole.. i noticed that in this er and my old hosp er. so its not just my current er. its a very real place to be.


as far as rob.. the pepperidge farm stuffing debacle has happened before- ive bought them to have one break - so i wasnt shocked, just like come on.


but it cudve happened to me. if it did i wudve sworn up and down like im cursed due to this preg. you get all stupid at the end. like too tired and clumsy.


as far as rob and men and being useless. well i think ti sums it all up. i hate when he does stuff cuz im like ur all stupid and cant do it right.


 


as far as delivering i guess ill try to do vag, but i dont see me dilating as i never do. n im not letting them induce me. he hi risk said ill rupture my uterus. so tht wud lead me to an emergency hysterectomy and a possible code. so ill discuss it with dr k and tell him if my due date comes i want my c section the next day. thats all. we can all play stupid games. and i f i do go into labor (doubt it. my mom has a good history of not dilating or laboring either.. and i dont with 2 children so far...) im not pushing like an animal for hrs and hrs. and after 2 or so. im going too be all weepy and be like i cnat do anymore. they can knock me out or whatever. i know u cat plan these birth things. i told that to colleen when she said she cudnt believe she had the baby that day. i told her dont ask why. u made it and so did the baby and youre both ok. thats all u can ask for. i know it was shocking but still. my delivery was shocking to me too. and they kept telling me oh one more push and oh the babys not that big. the ob was still so adament my baby wasnt big he made them weigh kate 2x. 9lb 4oz. oh thats not right, weight her again while my husband delirious;y happy was trying to take pics of her just born and hes all wrapped up in his bullshit. like being right. n then he sees me the next day to tell me what a champ i am. yeah well i have urge urinary incontinence since i had kate thx doc. ur the best. ill tell u i liked him in the sense he had a plan. he said no baby by 12 noon. c section. if i had that c section they wudnt let me try with this one due to fears of rupture and thatd be it. end of story. see how being tough and hanging in f**ks u up?


 


no eriously i want a way to make it clear to him how unhappy i am with not only all this but his abrupt nasty secretary and the fact he never called me back. even if they didnt give him the message it still reflects on him and i never got a call back. so if it was her or him doesnt matter to me. no call back. i want to be really ready for it too. like to blow him away for that argument. any thoughts?


 


meanwhile ive been trying to call rob about the furniture thing and cant get him for 5 hrs.... guess itll be real easy if i was trying to say im in labor huh? sure ill cross my legs and wait. or how about just say f**k it and he misses his son born? he missed everything else with this kid. only went to these last sonos cuz i twisted his arm.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

You must feel terrible about the furniture situation. You ordered these a while ago. And, they did tell you that they would be on time. If they cannot do what they said to me that is a broken promise, and you are right. The Carolinas did not experience the hurricane and there is no reason why the build and ship from there would be delayed. It makes no sense that you would get part of an order...and doing that in pieces assures them, if you accept partial delivery, that you are stuck at their mercy and whim. If you are not going to have new furniture in time, well, I might think about my options here. They either owe you a major discount or need to make good on the order or they can forget the order. This is a big sale and they should be happy to make you happy. Instead it seems they are making excuses. To say that something id discontinued and you are the seller...and do not know this...that is just plain stupid and says nothing for the sales person or the company. Of course you would not buy a table without chairs. What is this man thinking?

 

For what you are paying this should be right. You are basically buying the equivalent of a used car. This is not an inexpensive purchase. You are hearing a lot of distortions of the truth and are getting a run around. This is not acceptable and there needs to be some adjustment, like a free coffee table, or something. You are stuck at home and are good with words. I feel it might be time to take this up the ladder and to get some answers. True, it is sad that this has to happen so much for you. It is downright depressing, but you are very talented with persuasion and now seems the time to use that talent. BTW you are not stupid. This is a bad situation and is not your fault. Listening to the salesman talk is just normal hope. You figure he is trying to be nice, not to distract you away from his issues. But that is how he is. No wonder he is selling furniture, really.

 

Didn't know that Jen was on the larger side. That chair falling apart is not pleasant for her and is embarrassing, but I do know what you mean about not feeling all that badly about it. She has really pushed things with you.

 

I never thought that you and Rob were free with curing in front of Kate. However, it is funny that she said what she said when she said it. You have to admit it is cute at a certain level. And males and disasters. Yup, that is what we do. We make your lives miserable and we know it...but you love us anyway.

 

I think you are right about being tough in labor. The more you complain and whine and act like you are falling apart. (not your style) the more attention and care and exception you get. Maybe falling part when labor starts is the best plan. If you do not dilate then you can go into the I am not going to make it without help routine. At least then you would know what is happening to you and if there is a c section in the future you might know it. The idea that you ask for a c past your due date is not a bad one. I am not sure if they would comply that early, but the I give up I have no strength left idea is a great one. THey cannot know what you feel so they have to go a great deal by how you present. You are a nurse; present as a lady who needs a c section if you need to. Do what you have to do in this case. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

 

Any thoughts about the rude ob? Yes. Call your insurance company and file a complaint. That works very well and they are not merciful about customer service issues with a doctor. Plus that is his payer and he has to sing their tune or not get paid. As about a formal complaint. I have done it. It is much more effective than talking to them or the support staff who could not care less.

 

What the heck happened to Rob? I carried two cells when my wife was near birth. Shame on him. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve. apparently rob wasnt getting a good signal in his office and hasnt been since the hurricane. he told me to call his direct line if i have to get in touch with him. whatever steve. if hes not there - theres nothing i can do. honestly.


everything is on me somehow. so again whatever.


im sure hell have 3 days to get to see the baby born, he might notice im not home the 1st night.. its not like i expect this to go quickly.


should i call you when i go into labor?


 


as far as the furniture. we gave them 2500 as a deposit. and i dont think we can just quickly say no. were not taking this stuff now.


 


rob wants to cancel the whole order. i on the other hand just want to cry b/c see? its like i cant just get my dining set.


he said he thought it was too expensive anyway and this is just the perfect excuse for him to say screw the whole thing.


i personally dont want to deal with the guy again as im tired of arguing and negotiating these things out. were 5 weeks since the order and 5 weeks til xmas n i feel like im 9 month preg n tired. i dont want to argue with this guy.


i just dont. im hoping that the actual company stanley - which makes my daughters beautiful bedroom set- will do the right thing. they sell their furniture thru private individually owned stores and dont have their own stores to buy thru. i dont know if they will contact this store and say anything about the customer relations...


i dont even care as long as the chairs come in time.


i sent rob an email about it today no response yet. i wish he wud just deal with it. excepti could see him just cancelling it b/c hed feel better about it and that would be it. so i guess i cant let him deal with it.


 


i also am trying to get a guy to handle the tv hanging on the fireplace. the guy said hell cut half a brick out behind the tv and run the wires thru n do the whole patch repair job so to me it sounds like its worth it.


 


anyway i set up with thomasville to get our couch for dec 1st n it was all very civilized i must say... too bad their furniture all needs to be updated and revamped to be more in style. wish i had been able to get my dining set with them now. we were going to out of laziness but i told rob the stanley furniture is more classic with modern touches. i dont think well be disappointed with the actual furniture... i love kates its beautiful. i feel like thomasville is stuck 10 yrs outdated...


 


anyway rob is on fire after several emails.. hes going to call after i gave him a point by point talking list... i set up the tv installation too. and kates currently throwing a hissy fit cuz she wants to decorate gingerbread men but i have to go out after lunch (even though i feel too tired..)


 


i told rob he turns me on when he gets on fire.. (maybe that motivates him?) either way.. who cares. he told me his office is so quiet he cant call the guy right there hes going to use a conference room thats empty. i said ok. lets hope itll be ok....


 


 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

oh something funny- kate saw i had a cupcake last night n said who ate my cupcake? wheres daddy ?(he left for work already..) so she says daddys big and im little n he ate my cupcake. so i said u want to call him? yes. call him. so i do and rob says hes got a minute n kate gets on the phone n says im so mad. you ate my cupcake. n robs laughing. he actually admitted kates articulate.


 


ps the day of the baby shower she was on her fake cellphone n i asked if she was talking to her boyfriend? she said no i dont want a boyfriend who talks...


i dont know where she got that from, but i was 30 before i realized thats the way to go...

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

so rob called n had a chat with brian. brian took $200 off the price of th e coffee table. n brian is to follow up with the chairs next week. he mentioned again about me being in the hosp n rob said to call him dont worry about me being in the hosp....


no word from stanley yet.


 


and the stanley website had my whole collection of furniture dissapear - which indicates that its being discontinued. sigh. i have been rethinking like shud i picked something else? did i get too formal a set? people dont even buy formal china anymore...


maybe i shudve gotten the other set n the set picked isnt selling b/c its not popular n thats why its being discontinued?

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Kate has the best sense of humor I have seen in a young girl. She wants a boyfriend that doesn't talk. Smart girl. And, look at her giving that cupcake thief a hard time. He is big. She is little. How unfair is that?! She's cute.

 

Great that Brian took some cask off the table. That is the least he should have done as it is a display and there are issues with your order. But asking about you and the hospital? That is just plain weird. Hey, even if Stanley had you set disappear that doe snot mean they do not have archival stock of the furniture in great amounts. Styles of furniture are retired for a lot of reasons, including a simple cycle of offers to keep up interest. And do not worry. Classic furniture remains classic. Formal is always in good taste. My mother has a curio cabinet piece of 1800's Queen Anne style. That is outrageously formal and it still can be used in a home with no issues. I think you are fine with what you ordered. Timeless style is never wrong. I mean that. I saw teh stuff you wanted in a picture. It was very nice, not too heavyhanded at all.

 

Considering that Rob only seems to have post Sandy hard line access to a phone perhaps should give you access to my cell. lol Wow, there is nothing easy in your life is there? Even accessing your husband in this day of incredible technology seems difficult.

 

It is hard to access companies this week for some reason. I have heard more people talk about problems getting to folks this week. I would not worry too much about Stanley. I am certain they will get back to you. And I do understand your feelings about not wanting to cancel this order. I think you could do it, but it would not be simple and it would be better if you got your dining room set intact and on time. Who knows. There are still quite a few weeks left before Christmas. If the stuff is built and it is just a matter of shipping I can see that it would get to you on time.

 

The man who said that he would cut out a brick and run the wires: That sounds like about the only plan that makes sense. There are other ways to do that but it involves running channels for the wires and sometimes that is unsightly. Behind the scenes, not as badly. Is this the working fireplace? We are not talking about anything (wiring and cables) that may get heated? Most bricks are just facades for the chimney liner anyway so the idea seems like a good one. Look, the couch is on time and that is part of the total battle. True it is not the entire thing but this is a big order and it will come in more or less in steps. I think there is more than hope here that even the chairs all arrive on time. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve. went to the ob. i told him i called him fri. he said u did? i said yes n u didnt call back. he said i returned all my messages. i said well, not mine. kate was bouncing around and had stickers which to me with a 2 yr old is like handing them a loaded gun....


i told dr k what the hi risk said which was if i dont labor on my own he doesnt reccommend me being induced (due to possible rupture of my uterus which wud be a hysterectomy then..) and if i pass my due date to have a scheduled c section. dr k said that itd be good if i had the baby this weekend as hes on call thur fri sat sun days. i have an appt monday - and theyre scheduling me for a c section on thur. theyre calling his hosp to see what times they have. he said hes going to call the hi risk as he didnt write that in the report and i said well its what he said. i said what does the report say? he says it says big baby. i told him my concerns of being on maury povich with a 15lb newborn .. he said i dont think hes 15lbs. i said well 10+ starts to be embarassing n 11lbs is just mortifying really.


he didt check my cervix, and the babys still up high. i feel like hes all the way up by my breasts.


ill tell u steve, im just tired of this. im happy that theres an end day. like if the hosp has thur, hell do it seems. i didnt lie that the hi risk said that - i hope he remembers that he did...


im happy hes there all weekend - thats good to know. i mean i guess its possible that i could go into labor...


i cant put my socks on anymore n i almost fell in the shower last night. i dont want a c section but i feel like what choice do i have? at least hes not forcing me into dec. the hi risk said im due sat. the reg said im due mon. so i think going to thur is fair. the following week is like no. if i have the baby this week coming up ill have 8 weeks s/p to recover too.


thatd be a big relief.


 


kate is funny. she doesnt know it yet. she says it like thats what i think n thats it.


rob made me take the rap for the cupcake but kate chose not to believe it n said no daddy ate it. she just had it in her head.


 


stanley put the furniture back up on the website. dont know why it was missing for a day. maybe a glitch?


i did look at other sets but i was stuck again with a set that was a medium honey brown n had no china cabinet... n the farmhouse set thats the pale gray n resembles 1900s - the one ur daughter liked.. n i have dark wood floors n felt it wudnt go. plus it had an open shelve china cabinet. im sure the kids would leave it alone right? lol.


 


the set i got was the dark wood set that was i guess pretty formal. not queen anne, but with leather end chairs n the open backs scroll chairs.


 


the fireplace is the wood burning one. the guy said hes buying the hi temp rated cables, rob is dealing with it. i hope the house doesnt burn down.


 


my chandeliers i wanted to get are on sale the one for the kitchen n dining room n i think im going to splurge on them as they really came down in price. god i need to rob a bank. it never ends. i shudve just knocked the house down n rebuilt it.


 


anyway steve. have a nice thanksgiving. i wish i cud be drunk at ours. i think it may be frowned upon...


 


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I hope you had a decent Thanksgiving. Your life has been so stressful lately I wondered how it all went. I hope you didn't end up drinking! Although I sure could understand why you might, frowned upon or not!

 

Your OB sounds like he is less than wonderful. I never heard of a doctor losing a message like he claims. I wonder what that is all about. It seems the doctors cannot communicate with each other and you are the one who loses in the end. What a mess.

 

At least you know a little about the future in terms of a c section. The way you are going 6 days from now they are saying you get a c if you do not deliver. That at least seems like a plan, a lot better than this constant wait and see stuff that you have been getting. And yes, anything 10+ in size is big and 11 is really big. I mean I am here laughing at your comments about being on TV with this huge baby, but in truth that is not funny as you have a lot of anxiety about this situation.

 

At least as you said there seems to be an end to this. I am certain that you could raise a fuss and a half about this if you go past this weekend. And if the baby is that high you may. I really do not see, coming from a more distant perspective, how they are going to deal with you, other than a c section if you go past the weekend. I know that comes with its own set of problems and worries, but seeing that c section intervention three times in my own children, I also know that recovery is a lot faster than would seem possible. It really is. I was shocked at how fast my own wife recovered from the procedure.

 

No matter how you slice it, you are ready to have this baby. You need to, and emotionally I can tell that you are done and ready to go.

 

I think Rob should have taken the rap for the cupcake. That is what Dad's are for...to get blamed for things that otherwise might make mom look bad. I mean really: Dad's can get away with so much more obnoxious behavior than a mom.

I still am convinced that you make a good selection with the dark wood and the formal style. These types of sets look great and remain classics well into your daughter's children's lives. Who knows why the set disappeared for a day. That is odd; perhaps it was just a glitch.

 

Hi temp cables? Well, okay. My hobby is audio and video stuff and I have never heard of high temperature cables, but as long as the chimney has a ceramic liner in it I am sure it will not get all that hot in there anyway. Wiring insulation tends not to burn unless it is an extreme situation so you should be okay. If you go to sell the house it may be an issue. But for your own use it will work out.

Chandeliers? Those are pricey and I don;t see too many sales on them. Maybe this sis the time to buy all this stuff and simply get it over with. Sounds like it to me. (Right, its only money. lol ) Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

HI STEVE. my thanksgiving cud have been worse. it has before. there were some moments of course. its alot of people (my mother invites my brothers in laws - the parents n then the bro wife n kid.. the bris one thats too precious.. n we didnt go...)


 


my father in law is a racist (or just an asshole...?) n that always adds some flavor to the party... like when he told my bros in laws who are jewish shalom when they were leaving. i mean theyre not strict. they love bacon. lol. (and christmas but well leave that alone..)


 


or when my mom made a huge deal about me being so preg- n i have to sit n ordered everyone im to sit in this one particular chair at the table - the arm chair at the head of the table - which i never sit in - only men do and usually my father puts my husband there... with my bros fil to his right (i always laugh at that - -its like saying hes my dads 2nd in the mafia. he usually tries to lose my fil... like somewhere down the table away from him...) so i sit down n i hear the chair like creak? crack? (see what happens when u laugh at others who break their chair?...) i get up immediately my husband takes the chair and says let me see-- he looks and we realize its the chair my brother n father broke already n had been glued previously but it was still embarassing... we put kates booster seat on the cracked chair to make up for it...


 


my bros fil - steve - yes thyre all named steve. my father and bro are stephen and his fil is steven. n my bros fil i slike like 5ft 6, so he says after dinner to my dad hey can u carry me inot the living room? im tired... i almost blew snot laughing... he makes a whole huge thing about he has to do what my dad says due to my dads size compared to his.. hes like its up to you steve .. obviously youre the big man...


 


my bros sis in law when everyone was talking about social security dissapearing for everyone under 40 asked if i was over 40... which really made my day...


 


my bros mil asked if anyone was going to go help me after the baby was born and there was dead silence with my mother n mil. so guess no one is.... then she said i could hire a baby nurse.. i said yeah i guess.. and kind of left it like yeah whatever...


 


my father got all bitchy with me when i took away the lid to the butter container from kate who had picked it up off the table n put it in her mouth... i did just take it from her n she started to cry. my dad was like she doesnt even know what she did wrong - n i was about to say oh where was this sensitive parenting when i was a kid? i mean really. i mean yes i dont normally treat kate like that, but i was talking n then hes telling me 8 feet away from me get that away from her - so i just reached over n took it - like parents do- like ur kid has a power tool n u dont negotiate with terrorists... (at least i dont..)


 


my bros bro and sis in law got in2 a loud argument over how stupid she is for making pic appt for the kid today when its black friday n having to go the mall n she said she didnt even think about it - she did it as a way to get something done when theyre both off...


after she was upstairs changing the kid n he was screaming i went to go to the bathroom she thought i was checking up on her.. i said honey let them cry - do what u need to do. i mean seriously. n she told me she wants another kid but her husband is no help... i said yeah well... i mean i told her told rob if he doesnt help me he shud get out if im going to do it by myself. she seemed shocked n i told her its a normal part of being a couple.. n then i said after u give him the talk then start directing him. change the baby into pjs while i clean up dinner. etc. n she looked at me like i had just told her the meaning of life... (my god..)


 


then later my bros mil was talking to her husband (small steve lol) n she said elizabeth do u see my husband ignoring me? i said yes. n she said does ur husband do this? i said diane if we didnt all ignore one another at times wed be divorced. i mean seriously. my sil started laughing n said that my bro doesnt ignore her he goes into a zone.. i said sure keep telling urself that... i said look, what do u want? i mean look at all of them. theyre not male models. it is what is.. plus i mean what do you expect from humans that have part of their chromsomes missing? i explained about the y chromosone being a broken x.. and diane is like oh its broken? oh...


her husband little steve was like hey... n i said yeah he resembles that statement.. (i know bad joke..) but it got every1 to lighten up..


 


and did i drink? i had half a glass of wine n my dad was like oh my god.


then a car back fired which really sounded like a gunshot n i said well some1 finally said f**k it - im sleeping on a cot for the rest of my life... n rob was laughing. he said it really sounded like a gunshot. i said i wudnt be shocked if it was.. people know how to push buttons...


 


kate burped n then said.. thats a big burp from a little kate...


 


n this is the crap that just comes to mind steve.


all true i swear. my dad was so cranky i couldnt believe it. its not like him.. everytime i tried to talk to him he was just plain nasty to me. n he wasnt with everyone. it was mainly me, but he also scolded rob when he had kate climb up him " do me a favor.. dont flip her over. i dont like it.."


n my mom was in a pretty jolly/ nice mood. with everyone. i mentioned this to rob n he said yeah i noticed.


 


we got a message from the tv install guy saying he needed to reschedule for today. his wife had a baby yest.. so now we have to figure out when to reschedule. so annoying really....


 


i am worried of being home 72hrs post op with an infant n kate n a surgical wound but i feel i have no choice, i tried to get the girl who waxes my eyebrows to come help, she loves kate and is like 23 or something... anyway she cant do it, and im kinda at a loss of what to do now. i was going to get cleaning girls after we organize some more here.. which we were doing today...


 


meanwhile rob wants to see the new bond movie tomorrow. i wud love to but of course theres kate. well my mil says oh bring her n well watch her. so im like well i dont know. she says youre not going to go out for a while. this i know is true. i wont be ready to leave the new baby anywhere n i really hate sending kate places. well then she says oh and were going to her friends bday n theyd like to see kate blah blah. so theyll be driving sat night. so now im already not loving this. its not far n it would be local streets about 20 min away. then she says oh and rob can take out the air conditioner in our bedroom too.


 


and now im like.. i feel used steve. like she wants to bring kate to this party n oh rob can do this.. n his brother lives there. his excuse is that he hurt his shoulder a year ago, but its like so my husband can hurt himself n i can be stuck with him and a back injury from 36 yrs old so long as he gets that a/c out of the window.


 


n i know wed get a benefit too, but... im just pissed about it.


 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

oh ps we saw the new spiderman movie on pay per view and liked it.. just had some cheesy cgi spots, but i really liked this spiderman better than the 1st one 10 yrs ago or whatever it was...


 


and i was just thinking wistfully how this maybe my last preg an i should enjoy i. it could be my last day ever preg. and im just not. i feel so clumsy and not attractive and everyones like.. ur still preg? and im like i know.


i cant figure out why i cant be one of those chicks thats like.. oh i loved being preg i was so beautiful and attractive and felt sexy and had energy and blah blah. and i feel like an animal whos just dragging myself around and has so much to do and cant get it done. and christmas is looming and im here freaking out.. i have all my shopping to do plus xmas cards and wrapping plus organizing and cleaning and cooking. plus the new baby and putting up the tree and im like shit why didnt i have this kid in oct?


and i may not have any chairs to have anyone to sit in....

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hey steve, heres a rice pudding recipe that will blow everyone away. i made it for thanksgiving yest. i made 4 times the recipe n due to so many desserts thought.. ah it wont be a big seller. i had 2 containers and made one to put out and one for my dad to have after. same size. well the 1st container went n i didnt have any - and my dad of course got the other - and that whole container went. and all the women wanted it..the recipe. i dont know why all of a sudden - i make it for christmas and my dad is always the one who has it, along with robs elderly aunt.. n it just sits. since i typed it all up, im giving it to you to blow your in laws the cooks away. ps did you ever get the contadina tomatoes and make the sauce?


 


 


.Rice Pudding Recipe


i am giving you the original recipe. I have modified it, as i never have the orange zest (i always forget to buy it..) and i wont add the the whole amount of heavy cream at the end if the pudding seems too thin. ill add it in small amts and go by my eye and taste for texture. i like to have the pudding thick. I use stonyfield organic whole milk - not with dha or any additives. its the creamiest milk i have ever found. if i dont have the vanilla bean i use the pure vanilla extract that i buy - the real one - not the liquid flavoring one. instead of one bean i use 2 teaspoons. if the rice is not absorbing the milk i put the temp on the stove up for a minute or 2 and get it going and then lower it. also i always double the recipe as it doesnt make that much and if i need more than that will make 2 batches of double to get 4 times the recipe. if you more than double the recipe things get weird with proportions in cooking in general i have found. also since its not done the gentle way of using a double boiler - i luckily have very thick heavy bottomed pots that protect food while cooking and if you have a heavy saucepan i would use it. also of course at the end i let it cool for 30 min or so with no top so theres no condensation (waters down the rice pudding :( and put it in the fridge. i dont add any toppings like cinnamon or whipped cream - i just have them on hand for whoever wants to put it.




  • YieldServes 6




Ingredients




  • 3/4 cup Arborio rice, rinsed

  • 6 cups whole milk

  • 1/2 vanilla bean, split and scraped

  • 1/2 cup sugar

  • Pinch of salt

  • 1/4 cup heavy cream

  • 1 teaspoon freshly grated orange zest





Directions



  1. In a medium saucepan, combine rice, milk, vanilla bean and seeds, sugar, and salt. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat; reduce heat and simmer, stirring frequently, until rice is tender and liquid has absorbed, about 40 to 45 minutes.

  2. Remove vanilla bean; stir in orange zest and heavy cream. Rice pudding may be served at room temperature or chilled.




 


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Thanks for the Rice Pudding recipe. I find that your recipes are pretty darn good. And, I like rice pudding. Thanks...and for the bonus and payment. Much appreciated.

 

It doesn't sound like Thanksgiving was all that terrible for you. At least you sort of knew what to expect. The chair incident didn't sound so great, but I know even that could have turned out a lot worse. What is it with you and chair stories lately?

 

You are surrounded by Steves it appears. And what should I call the 5'6" Steve, little Steve? Anyway, I like his sense of humor. I can't tell from this posting if you think he is funny or sort of an idiot or both. You'll have to let me know more directly.

 

I know the comment about you being over 40 could not have made your day. What the heck was that about? Even if you were over 40 that is a stupid thing to say to you.

 

And, I just loved the silence comment when you talked about having someone help with the baby. I guess that really shows you where you stand. Above all the things that you said about Thanksgiving I think that one was the most upsetting to hear. I mean you are about to have this baby and you are under all this stress and difficulty and the only comment that you can get about help is silence? Nice...

 

Sadly I have been where you are about Kate and the butter. Why is it that people who were aggressive with you when you were little suddenly become candidates for parent of the year with their comments. I would have yanked the stuff from Kate as well and certainly, like you, could have passed on the guilt trip about parenting skills. Personally I think that you did the right thing.

With some couples, I swear it is 1912 and not 2012 when it comes to parenting roles. The guys seem to do whatever they want and the wife gets stuck with all the work. That is less than fair and is not a balanced marriage at all. These days it has to be a real partnership and not just one on paper like it used to be. I am not sure how anyone could raise more than one child without help from their spouse. I know it is done, a lot, but of the person is there they should help. I should not be surprised that comments like the one you made about Rob getting out if he didn't help would shock someone. (they do not shock me) But wow...people still thinking this way in 2012...odd as heck but common too.

 

I am not sure I should appreciate your comments about the broken X chromosome or be insulted? But really that was a funny line and defused the moment. It really is a shame that almost instinctually you have to play the role of peacemaker, even if it is with humor.

 

Yo had half a glass of wine? Oh no...I will have to have you involuntarily committed now. You should not have told me that. (What about all these women in the years past that were encouraged to have a glass of wine when pregnant? They seemed to turn out just fine.

 

It is unusual that your father was not in a good mood. He has been under a lot of stress lately too but it is odd that you, his girl, is being treated poorly. I wonder what was up with him? And mom being nice...You sure you went to the right house?

 

I think you are going to be fine, even with a c section and 72 hours later. I was shocked about how quickly my wife was able to get back on her feet. It just isn't like it once was. The surgery seem so fast and recovery so quick. I mean I helped my wife a little but she wanted to do so much on her own. I have a feeling you will be surprised how fast you get on your feet too.

 

I am not supposed to say this but your family is so much like my own in many ways. You also watch the exact same stuff. New Bond, Spiderman: It really is quite odd. We are not as wild I think do to all the German blood, but still the double agendas of come over so you can take out my air conditioner. That sounds so familiar. Trust me...the feeling of understanding and resentment. I swear it all comes with the territory of being in the life stage that you are. I know exactly what you are saying here and yet I also know that there is little that you can do about it. It is both okay and not and I get you totally here.

You really liked the last Spiderman better than the first one? What about that upside down kiss thing? This last one didn't even have MaryJane as a character. And you gotta love that Stan Lee appears in all of the movies as a cameo character.

 

You are not one of those creepy women that loves pregnancy. Good. They are totally bizarre in my thoughts. Pregnancy is rough on most woman and they do not look great and near the end are miserable and upset and just well, done. You are the normal one and they are not. There is only so much you can like about the experience. The baby; that is different, but pregnancy and loving it. I just don't see it with most women. Your fine liz. They are not.

 

And, you will get your chairs. I can't guarantee that Christmas will be easy or fun this year but you will have your baby and that will be over at least. And look. You have spread your knowledge with this Rice Pudding recipe. We sure will use it. Thanks! I will be praying for you Liz that this all goes well for you and better than you think.

Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hey steve. yes im still preg. and now this baby better stay there til thur. im not kidding. my dr was just on for 4 days straight n im not going to the hosp n hes not there. as much as i complain , my dr is a good dr. n i never had probs with him til all of this. i of course wasnt thrilled with kates delivery, but hindsight is 20/20.


he is a good surgeon and better than most obs with medicine......


 


i was going to ask him if he could do my c secton laproscopic.. what do you think? 10lb baby thru a 2 inch incision?


 


we took kate to see santa yest. so i was at the mall like any other good american on my due date.......


she did great. and steve so many people stopped told me while rob was taking pics how beautiful she is (i had her dressed for xmas - in her actual dress from janie and jack..) i almost cried as she was looking like a little girl. not a baby. and i was just shocked at she folded her hands and looked so grown up. her hairs grown some and well it just took me by surprise.


meanwhile to shatter the moment a woman in the mall lost her kid and stood and just screamed and cried. didnt call for him wasnt running looking just standing there screaming hysterically. so what we can look? and she can be a basket case? so i told the santa girls call security they have to lock the exits down. and theyre like ok. the kid was little just 3. but its just like look for him. if she was running and calling and looking thatd be different. and i dont let kate get away from em ina crowd and shes close to his age. put the kid in the stroller then. i mean safety is the point here. i dotn care if the kids dont like it. i told danielle (the one on thxgiving whos husband doesnt help...) the other day better the kids are screaming and cryin g with our rules or discipline than us screaming and crying that theyre hurt or dead.


 


i have to get ready for the ob. ill write later. i started this last night and fell asleep. and im somehow so busy, i dotn have time. las


t


nite i felt th


at stuid little trickle again and thought maybe my wa


ter broke. i laid down for an hour and got up, and no more leaking.. but im worried i will be sent to the hosp due to ruptured membranes like i was with kate. im def not in labor. we didnt go cuz i told rob like i refuse. im seeing him today and im not going to waste time there and not be right. i cant stand this being checked for ruptured membranes thing it really hurts. i just want to go for scheduled c section now. and ive been planning my week around it now. my last month has been like well i cud go inot labor and its like i need to get stuff done. i rescheduled the tv guy for sat and the couch delivery is coming the same time. and robs co worker whos house flooded is coming to take our coffee table and end tables. and we have to schedule garbage pickup for the couches... its just so ... i dont know. busy. and i need to schedule maid service. plus i still havent finished the organization of the house, but i know my parents and in laws will be coming to see this baby. plus my bro... sigh.


 


oh and i find my brothers fil "little" steve hilarious. he does hosp equipment delivery and sees alot of nurses and is always like liz u have the hardest job and he has hi respect for nurses.. and he does say funny stuff.


 


and the 1st spiderman.. that maryjane is a slut. she doesnt know that spiderman and XXXXX XXXXX are the same person and shes all around town kissing them. i like this girlfriend better. but rob says they killed her off b/c they didnt want them to get married and they didnt have anywhere to go with the story. and i liked denis leary as the father/ police chief.. i felt he played the part really well. too bad they killed him. im taking it you already saw it since u compared the 2...


 


oh and we did leave kate at grandmas and shes still there. i know. arent i bad? his mom called and said why dont you just get her after you go to the dr today? we were going to pick her up last night. she was playing and didnt even want to talk to us on the phone. we did drop her late sat so it wasnt like she was there all day sat. so rob was like ill do whatever u want liz. and i said fine she can stay. so im going to the dr 1st and getting her in the afternoon.


so we did see james bond and i really liked it. go see if you didnt already. i also googled daniel craig naked (which i never do b/c well i just dont,) and i told rob like i think hes well endowed and rob said why dont you google it? it didnt even occur to me steve. i was like i guess i could. so i did. lol. not many pics ill give him credit for that. meanwhile naked women are like forget it. geez.


ps no naked pics of me... i tell rob im not sure if i want to run for president so cant take the chance... he thinks im a nut.. but i am paranoid...


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I think if the baby sticks around until Thursday you have got yourself something good. I hope that he does. I mean you are now overdue technically, but as I understand it most women go a number of days past.

 

Laproscopy? Sure: Go for it. You can have a baby and make a medical journal at the same time.

 

It is so hard, and terrific at the same time, to see your baby grow up. Kate is a little girl now and I would bet is a total cutie. Dress her up in Christmas clothes and take her for pictures and I would guess that the world stops for her. It is a frightening and wonderful feeling all at the same time.

 

Mall mom sounds like she had some serious anxiety issues. She was so scared she froze. That happens in some people who are terrified. Their body just will not respond to the messages that the brain is sending. It is really quite sad actually. This type of person can never handle crisis and you certainly do not want them in a hospital or any type of critical decision and action environment. Good call though asking the elves to lock the mall down. That was a good move. I remember losing my middle one in Busch Gardens many years ago. The park was at capacity and she was too young yet to talk. One second and she was gone. Fortunately we acted as you did and got help. My oldest found her in the meantime. That was about as scared as I have been in terms of kid stuff. But you have to keep your head as you know, Standing and screaming is not going to bring the child back.

 

I know you are now under that weird scrutiny that only women almost ready to give birth go through. It seems no matter what the story is that they find a way to hurt you. Like I said: If men had babies this would all be done in a painless and easy process. Medical science would have advanced in the 1600's to allow it. (I am not sure males could endure all the stuff you go through.)

 

You will get through this rough time. Birth and afterward. It will be a dark comedy of course, but you will get through. If you can arrange the maid that would be great...but for family...do what you can not what you cannot. They will see the baby. I just want you to survive the experience of all the stress of the event and still keep your sanity, or what is left of it.

 

Yes, I saw all the Spiderman movies. I am faithful to the comic books so I struggle with the new girlfriend. In the comics Spiderman is married to Maryjane. But really...she kisses Spiderman and XXXXX XXXXX and doesn't know the are the same guy. Please. That is insane and there were continuity issues with the first Spiderman movies. At least they got Aunt May right in the original. The last one took so many liberties with Peter's back story that I was annoyed.

 

I do want to see the new James Bond, badly at that. I heard it was simply excellent. And I do not blame you for leaving Kate. You need some space as you are not going to have it in the near future. But for shame...looking up naked men's pictures? What is that going to do for you? And it is a good thing to not join the who sees me on the web thing, naked. I had some clients who made that mistake. It comes back to haunt you. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve. today was pretty shitty and quite possibly its the hormones. youre lucky i dont have your number b/c i wouldve def called today.


i went to the ob and he told me that the hi risk ob didnt tell me that. and therefore nothing is scheduled. he originally said well call you if theres any issues and they never did so i had fingers crossed that it was all ok.


so i said well he def said that cuz i was surprised and my husband was standing right there... he checked my cervix and im closed. no shocker there. i never dilate. he said well talk outside. i got dressed and went out. he said XXXXX XXXXXz wants to talk to you.. as he said to me talk to carolyn. he said well call the hi risk again. see now heres where im confused- if he said he didnt say that , whats the diff now? i feel like theyre passing my care back n forth and no1 will just take care of me. and i said well when do i see you again? he said well call you. he told carolyn to call the hosp for c section time (again...) they told me ok go get stuff done blah blah.. like stay active. i said i am active. why do i have to defend myself? i mean i worked up until the week before last , have a 2 yr old n was out at the mall and doing things on my due date for 12 hrs. literally. we left 1130am and came home 1230 at night. sun i got up and cleaned. not as much as i normally do i admit, but my back has such bad spasms i dont know what to do. im racked with pain. i left, and made my next mistake.


can you guess what it was?


i went to my moms. remember when it seemed like thaksgiving went ok? well it didnt now. and its mine and my in laws fault. apparently all f hr hard work, the dinner, money spent was wasted b/c my father in law - didnt only say the shalom comment to my bros in laws. he made a comment about fiddler on the roof, about what do u call a jewish xmas tree? a chanukah bush... and made the comment of my jewish friend this one my jewish friend this one did that.. etc. i heard him say shalom and then rob was walking in to walk him down the steps. i didnt hear the other comments.


so my mom slammed me with that shes embarassed, and he insulted her guests, and thats her daughter in laws family, and he doesnt have a pot to piss in, how dare he? and he shud stay home in his own f**king house since hes a dumb irish mick, (speaking of racial slurs...) btw he is part irish but hes mainly german...


so i said i dont know mom i didnt hear it honestly. she said my father was fuming, (guess that explains how nasty he was when he was walking me to the car...which i said out loud and she jumped on me about he wasnt nasty, and she wasnt there.. so how does she know? i said well he went all nuts on me that theyre waiting for me and its freezing out and rob left the minivan door open. i said well he saw i didnt walk out with them - i thought he knew i wasnt there. and rob went to college so i thought he would know to close the door to minivan.


so she said well daddy cnt close the door to the minvan its up to rob. so i said oh so i cant leave kate with her father and trust that hell close the door if its too cold?


so she then goes on and says she wasnt going to bring it up, but i did.. b/c i mentioned like omg he said shalom but then he walked out etc.. and i feel like it was a planned readied attack on me.


and she ke[t saying that its her daughter in laws fam like well im her daughter but i guess her daughter in law matters more...and how could she expect her family to come if theyre insulted for their religion... (this all kills me - as shes said her share of racial and religious slurs..)


so after 30 min of this rant, i finally said well im sorry mom, i didnt know.. and she flipped and said you dont need to say sorry everything isnt about you. why do you think everything is about you? i said i dont. so she said well then why are you apologizing? i didnt say b/c i was trying to get what her motive was for screaming at me for 30 min about it? did she want me to apologize? also- i mean its a way to acknowledge soemones feelings. like if i say sorry your great aunt tilly died, does that mean i think its my fault? or like i killed your great aunt tilly whom i never met?


she made a comment about how she cnat say anything and shes sick of it b/c then itll start world war 3... i was tempted to say well why dont you call them but i didnt want to be a shit stirrer.


b/c i didnt want to start soemthing between all of them and she said hows shes taken his shit for the last 10 yrs that he makes comments about her being italian and she shut up b/c it was my christmas or it was joans easter and shes not going to ruin our holiday in our house by saying soemthing...


I told her of my bros sis in laws comment about me being over 40 and she started to make excuses for her and i said no mom.. she meant im over 40.. and everyone was there.. and she went wild with its not the same thing, how could you even compare that comment to a comment about soemones nationality or religion? i said i just said i was insulted. thats it. im not comparing comments.


i finally said well if you want this year ill make thx giving for them my husband and his family and you can make it for stephen and his in laws. she said nothing to that, so i guess that may be the plan.


i start trying to say i need to get out of there and she makes a comment about she doesnt think i should have a c section this week as its not that overdue and she was 3 weeks overdue (i was 8lb 6 oz... she wasnt overdue . i know it. she miscalculated. 10 days ago i was told the baby 9lb 6 oz. so add 10 oz to that for up until to day...and by the end of the week itll be another 4 oz. ) i said well i have to have the baby this week due to my maternity leave so i dont lose my job and i need to keep my medical. she said rob had medical and i said we cnat afford to lose my income and to pay $700 a month. she said its not $700 a month. i said it is mom. i looked at the papers last night. she said well its not that much. i finally said i needed to go and get kate.


i only dropped by to drop off kates christmas picture - and i brought knishes from this really awesome place that makes sausage and pepers and knishes and hot dogs.


oh and kate made a comment about how kate looked very grown up, and i said i know, she said its b/c shes too skinny. and asked what she weighed. i said shes 30 lbs. and she said that the in laws kid is 27lbs and hes 18 months. so kates a yr older and 3lbs heavier. i said yeh and shes 8 inches or soemthing taller. their kid is a roly poly. i said mom kates appropriate. hes overweight. i was incorrect on that fact too.


i finally got out of there i felt actually physically beaten and started crying as i ran from her house. i got in my car hysterical and cried the whole way to my mils house.


i sat in my car after getting a spot for about 45 min til i finally said im never going in if i dont go. so i go and ring the doorbell my mil answered and she said oh dont worry youre going to have the bby soon. i said no, i had a fight with my mother. she said why? and i said oh it has nothing to do with you. i said thx giving didnt go well. and i got ripped a new asshole. i mean it was like a prize fight. i took all the knockouts cuz i knew if i really went after her i knew itd be over which - i think soemtimes that she wants to push me to make it that we sever ties. my mil was sympathetic and unfortunately kept trying to guess what it was.. like i didnt help cleaning up, or she didnt help enuff, to kate taking the fat kids toy, to my mil saying if my mom didnt have enuff food not to give her leftovers and maybe my mom was insulted? i said joan. its all me. pls dont worry about it.


i felt badly and just told her of the walk to the car and my making the baby freeze cuz rob didnt close the door. and what she was upset about and i tried to say sorry and was told that the whole world doesnt revolve around me..


 


 


my father in law on the other hand asked me like 3 times what did the gynecologist say? and i was going to tell him like if you say the word gynecologist one more time im going to punch you.


 


the obs office did call and said that theres no c section time on thur or fri and that the 2 drs are playing phone tag. and they didnt forget me, and will cont to work on it and call me 2morrow. theyre hoping soemone will cancel due to an early delivery and well take that slot. i was going to say if you call last week on wed maybe this wouldnt be an issue now.


ill tell u steve. i feel like.. why wont anyone just help me?


 


i dotn even know how to argue with the ob anymore to convince him to get me out of this already....


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Wow, that is a stunner about the on again off again c section. I can't believe they are putting you through all that.

 

I think you are right; the existence of two doctors complicates this as they both seem to pass off responsibility to each other. Perhaps only having one involved, if that is even a possibility at this point would work better. At least you know you heard the high risk Ob say Thursday. But either way you have to be disappointed as you were pretty sure this train was on the rails if you were able to not go into labor by Thursday.

 

You are staying active. Your schedule makes me tired. It almost seems that you are getting the general speeches about due date pregnancy and not much else.

 

I hear your mother's views loud and clear; but you are totally correct. She is making this your problem. I know she is saying that she is just venting but that is not so. She is targeting you because she wants some of this information to be passed down the pipe so that this "tension" does not happen again. She is telling you because she wants you to help resolve it. She is angry and wants you to do the work that is hers to do. If she has an issue she knows how to use a phone. Why put you in the middle of all of this? She is still acting as though you are the parent and she is the child. I wouldn't have anything of it. This is a manipulation game plain and simple and best action is to let her deal with this and refuse to discuss it. She cannot make you talk about this and silence to these types of manipulations is often a good way to remove the energy from your direction.

How do you know you are getting parental abuse? It became obvious when she picked a fight about fil and really when she got you all upset and then sprung the you do not need a c section thing on you. Simply said she is being passively abusive. That is also best reacted to by ignoring the entire thing and avoiding her. It is really sad that you could use a functional mother right now but that is not how things are. I am sorry about how she is but she is just too damaged to help you. She makes you pay far too much to get support. It is not worth it.

 

BTW what are knishes?

 

Joan has traits of mom to a degree. She lets her own emotional needs get in the way of helping you. Who really cares what the issue is about TGiving? The real issue is tat you felt hurt about what happened with your mother and needed some support, not a lighter version of a hot lamp interrogation with a reminder of your place in life as you leave. How nice of her. Sometimes it must feel that you are so trapped and stuck with all of these people. It cannot feel good to have such a lack of true support.

 

I wish I could get you a replacement family. You could use one.

 

And as far as the OB and the c section; this will work out. I think it is good to talk to only one of them at this point and to get them to act as much as they are willing and to be like your father in law and his overuse of the word gynecologist...you though, with the word c section. Hey, you might be a total pest calling about this but it is your life and this is time to be cranky if need be. You are the one caught in the middle of these two doctors and knowing how you feel, abandoned (good word to use) and confused (another good word) might not be such as bad idea. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve.


well i lost my whole long answer and im annoyed of course.


i got a call from the ob telling me that tomorrow i have to go to the hosp antepartum unit to have a perineonatoligist measure the baby and monitor me. personally i feel like im on a quest for lord of the rings or something. she said they want to measure the baby again and my fluid levels.


i personally dont know what the point of this is. how many times are we going to look and say wow that babys big. do you think they may measure and say u know liz the babys nt 10 and half pounds. hes only 6. you shud shoot him out like a ping pong ball. its completely ridiculous.


rob thinks that theyll use something they find to bump someone else from the c section schedule.


this is the plan that the hi risk and my reg ob have devised and then they will discuss the finding and decide whats next.


i mean not for nothing but this baby needs to come out really.


ill be visiting the easter bunny with kate if i keep going at this rate.


 


i felt bad for my mil b/c she was guessing like what did we do wrong? and i think i wouldve done the same . like oh did we not help enuff? did my saying i didnt need leftovers insult her? i wudve 2nd guessed myself too. definitely. its an insecurity thing.


 


my mom called me this am (like nothing happened..) and asked what was going on - did i hear from the ob? what day am i going? i told her there was no news which at the time there wasnt. and she said well u cud go into labor. i said yeah i guess. she then said now that were 3 days past my date well you cud bring kate to me. just call 1st. i said ok thx mom. i didnt tell her my goo plan was that i was going to the hosp and kate was going to stay there til soemone could get her. im not taking a chance that ill have the baby in the minivan on the long island expressway.


 


and im so sick of talking to these drs for a month already trying to get them to help me. i get the point. theyre not going to do soemthing until a situation presents. why shud they? they dont care im super uncomfortable and im going to lose my job. ive been contracting on and off today but. nothing thats indicative of labor. im afraid when i go 2morrow theyll be like 12lbs. and ill be like oh shit. i feel like they didnt schedule this lst week cuz they thought id go into labor over the weekend. and now i feel like theyre like ok, go over hill and dale and collect $200...


its all stall tactics. and im tired of begging them to help me.


 


my moms going to watch kate tomorrow for me to go for this stupid testing. my mil said make sure ur ready to be admitted. she thinks theyll be taking me in, but i dont really believe that.


 


what do you think of my mothers whole thing about me being ego centric when i said i was sorry? she does that to me alot.


 


its weird cuz i look at her and i think, after seeing kate and hat i think of my own daughter - how coould you look at me and hate me so much? i look at kate and i love her so much. i couldnt hurt her. im not perfect by any means, but i mean i came over with pictures of the grandchild she loves so much on santas lap- and lunch and im 9 months preg with your next grandchild and you could launch inot this rant for so long and not think it wouldnt hurt me. esp for soemthing i didnt do or say. i know im the scapegoat b/c of course theyre only invited my inlaws b/c theyre my inlaws.


when i told this ot rob he said that my grandmother f**ked my mother up and all her kids up. and my mothers broken. and i said she f**ked me up and i cant hurt my daughter that way. to remember all i went thru as a kid.. i cudnt do it to kate.


and my mother didnt make any excuses for her rant on me. other than well you brought it up. i brought up the shalom comment. which by the wy to be honest - as stupid and gross. i mean gross my fil i s - its not exactly a racial slur. i mean shalom just means peace. thats it. i mean the chanukah bush and fiddler on the roof is stupid, but id take it as him being more stupid than anything. i mean he has a shitty track record which is why this escalated to be to this point...


 


as far as knishes- well 1st off - you need to come to ny. ok 2nd is like mashed potatoes with an outside crust thats fried. its a square and i cut them open or the guy in the truck does and puts mustard and sauteed peppers and onions. you close it back up and stuff your face. i love them. google it to see the pic. its hard to describe. either way you need to have one. in ny. see another reason to make it here steve. im telling you between the food and the places to go, you cud have an awesome week here. and just cuz i like you.. i wont invite any of my family. then youll really have a good time.


i know how to entertain.


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

This question has timed out and we need a new one...

 

You know, once you get in the clutches of these specialist types they will put you through the wringer as far as process and testing and so on. What is the purpose? None that I can see. It isn't like as you said that they will find something shocking. You are pregnant with a rather large baby. Ok, no surprises there. You're not dilated. No surprise there either. About the only thing I can think of is that Rob is right. My own wife with out first birth...I did see this fudging of charting to get my wife what she wanted. It isn't supposed to happen, but I have seen it and I am sure that certain doctors are not above making things "arranged" for you via these seemingly useless tests.

 

If you are still pregnant when Easter rolls around I am calling Ripleys.

 

Your mother is nothing short of an amazing piece of work. She seems to have little to no insight into herself and her behavior and its consequences. She had no clue you were hurt by her off the cuff remarks about Thanksgiving and your c-section and is now all supportive of you. Weird really. But I guess this is how care shows up in her brokenness, as sudden out of the blue support. But I get you. Wait until you are at the hospital before having someone pick up Kate. That is the last thing you need, to be on the NY news as a "mom gives birth on the expressway" person. I can hear the tag line on the news now... Baby is named after NY highway worker Emanuel Santiago George the III, the man who delivered the baby. No thanks. I would wait too.

 

It would be nice if you were admitted today. I have my doubts about today though. I do think Rob is onto something here with the testing and the inside doctor plan to bump someone and get you in.

 

Your mom is very broken and damaged. Something very bad happened to her ego and sense of self at one point. She became self focused and is not about the people she should be about, like you. She should be aware of her feelings and what her words do to you. But she is not. Instead she tends to see the world in very extreme black and white terms, a right that she thinks is right and a wrong that is everyone else's opinions.

 

You buck her one sided viewpoint, a lot, and she does not like it as it makes her look at, even unconsciously, how she really is. As a result, she avoids being truthful with herself, and then she endsup hurting you and rejecting you as a result of her reaction to that truth.

 

It is not about you Liz. I can tell you that 100%. She is just so damaged by some emotional condition from long ago that she cannot grow. Trauma causes stagnation and right around 13-16 years of age she was traumatized. I am not sure how. But if you look at how she acts...she acts like a catty young female teen: One sided views, oblivious to anything but her own perceptions.

Just know it is nothing, nothing that you have done. She just dumps it on you because of how you are...blunt and matter of fact, traits that to her are very difficult to cope with in a healthy way.

 

Knishes: You are right I had no idea. I had a picture of something like a German snitziel thing. NY does sound interesting and if I go and stay for a while it would be for the food. And, I appreciate missing the family. That is mighty generous of you. lol. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

HEY STEVE


i just got home from being at the hosp all day. i waited forvever for the sono and i told them my hi risk drs name.. they said hes here. hell see u. i said ok sounds good. they brought me in. and well drumroll please.


the babys 10lbs 13oz.


you heard me. i audibly groaned and the sono techs like oh crap. yeah.


she said stay here ill tell dr n youre here. ok. he came in and got a slightly smaller weight. he said well we have to do something about this. i said ok now what? he said oh honey youre having a c section. i said ok. im lying there thinking i did but really didnt want a c section. he said the biggest he delivered was 12lbs. i said do you think hes 12 lbs? he said well were off by 1lb either way - more or less...


so i said yeah... i barely could see him sitting and i had tears rolling down my face, he said what? n i said im embarassed. i feel like a circus freak. and he said liz you didnt do anything wrong. i said but it just sounds gross and undignified and unladylike. i actually thought about lying on the kids announcement. like obviously putting him up there but not 11lbs. like saying 9lb 12 oz. just anything less than 10lbs.


am i crazy?


 


he said the babys heart is strong but fast and he wanted to monitor me. the hr was 180. and the baby was super upset. he moved more than he has in days and i felt like he was having a temper tantrum in there. i calmed him and the dr said oh you already have a way with him. i said i guess. i dont fee very attached to tell you the truth. i dont know why. i just feel like get out. like im sick of this.


i patted my belly and told the baby its ok the dr was just checking us both and hell be seeing me and kate and daddy soon.


the hi risk asked me how much rob weighed and his height and mine and i said really my father is 6ft 6.. and hes nodding along n then looked up. and he said youre not with this family genetics having a small baby. and boys weigh more and the 2nd always is more..


he said im calling dr k. keep calming the baby.


meanwhile this am at 7am my mil called t tell me my fil was in the hosp. she took him overnight. he was acting confused and weak and urinating on himself. he had chills and then at the hosp a fever. i said it sounds like he has a uti.. she said yeah he does. they gave him iv abx and wanted to d/c him but my mil refused to take him home. said hes too weak.


so she left him at 430am to come home to watch kids. (not my daughter..) and he was in the er hallway. ok so i get there for 10am, but not done with my appt til 1pm. so i find him in the hallway. still no bed.


so i speak with him for a few minutes and he asks me to call his wife. so i do. she says well are they going to keep him in the hallway til he leaves? so i said well its really busy and theres alot of pts in the hallway and his iv abx are either 1x day or 2x as i looked at the bag, she tells me they couldnt catheter him they said his penis is too tight. and he keeps saying penis. so i said ok ok, i get it. so i tell her he probably needs to get a turp done, and im trying to explain it, shes busy with kids, so im like ok, whatever. he then tells me he has a catheter in. so i look, see the bag, but dont check to see its not in. its an external catheter. so his nurse comes by and shes like r u a nurse? and i say yes, and he tells her im his grandaughter and im about to have a baby. so i say im his daughter in law and im preg not laboring.


either way he keeps talking about defecating but i dont know why, and i finally figure out that he needs to go to the bathroom. i ask the nurse to help me and while were getting him out of bed - he has his hand on the nurses ass and his fingers are in the crack of her ass i swear. we get him in the wheelchair and shes beet red (and seems like a younger newer nurse and shes got def a nice figure and shes black..) we get him to the bathroom and i was like you ok? shes like i cant believe it, and i said better you than me honey. i said he always used to do that bullshit to me. her eyes are wide and she gets behind the nurses station and i said there shud be f**king hazard pay in this job and another nurse chimes in and hears what happened and shes like oh yeah.... and we agree men are animals. (sorry.) but how many women have done that to you unsolicited? exactly.


 


i got stupid back to bed and fixed him up , and he starts telling the nurse that my daughter talks non stop, shell chew you ear off.. and im giving him the evil eye he keeps saying how shes bossy etc.. and i mean she is sometimes but its like here mommy put it here. i help you. so i finally say paul shes 2. whats your excuse? the nurse and the nurses aide again are dying...


meanwhile i had to hear him say defecation, penis, gynecologist, and saw his penis and he sexually assaulted the nurse, plus insulted my daughter. so i decided im getting the hell out of here. and i left.


 


so the obs office called and said im going for my c section thur at 830pm. i have to be there at 430pm and have to be on alert they can call n tell me to come earlier at anytime so i have to be ready to leave.


i had the thought of rob going to work since he only gets 3 days off. but he said no, he doesnt want to go to work and then have to race back, he said we can clean up here and if they call earlier than itll be earlier. i said i guess... beggars cant be choosers...


 


anyway i cant eat all day. i said ok. but im eating in the am. f**k that.


 


as far as my mom, shes going to watch kate - she thinks rob shud work, and i felt wishy washy about it thinking i want himto be with me just to calm me, but then he said hes staying home n she didnt argue it any further. he said we can clean n do stuff. i said ok. geez im having surgery i still gotta clean. theres no days off steve really.


will i ever catch up and have a clean house and 2 clean happy not sick children and enjoy a day? wtf?


 


so my moms going to have kate overnight and rob can get her the next day to see me and the baby..


 


and i try not to challenge my mom as theres no point as you cant get thru to her. i let her scream and just said i didnt know, i didnt hear, etc. and then finally im sorry. i did say, its not all about me - im sorry he said that.. and she just whipped further and further into a frenzy.


i used to be more argumentative thinking i could make her see my side. and ive tried to do what my bro does which is he basically doesnt get upset and answers her n he can diffuse her. it doesnt work for me. hes also done the yeah whatever mom thing and walked away and she doesnt stay mad at him.


my mom can stay mad at me and my dad for eons.


 


my mom found out about her mother cheating on her father ... i mean i found out my dad was cheating but i was 22 or something. it bothered me but i was more upset she was my age, i was hoping hed be with a nice lady who cud be my not so evil stepmother and treat him nice too.


i used to say that all the time. that i hoped my dad would meet someone and be happy. i guess thats messed up, but thats how i felt.


 


so you saw what a knish is? you guys coming to see the museums? the christmas tree? eat a knish and have my rice pudding? brownies? meatballs?


it really would be fun. you could drive thru staten island to avoid manhatten driving to come to long island.........


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I am at least very grateful that by tonight this should all be resolved. My wife said that she is doubtful your baby is as big as they say as sono and similar evaluations have a very high error rate. Still the c- section is today and that squeaks you under the wire for work and eliminates the fears of a birth where you might tear or have other complications. Yes it is surgery but I am amazed at the methods they now use and how fast everything gets back to normal. You will be too. Plus you have been very active and on your feet this whole time which also will help. This is, although stressful, a good thing. And, at least you know you will have a son who will most likely grow up to be a big guy. Always nice to have a son who can help mom move large things and do some heavy work...

 

This is all very overwhelming and unsettling. But as you said this needs to be over and it now will be. And, it also shows mom that she is wrong, wrong, wrong about the need for a c and the whole lot of what she said. Not that it will change anything, but at least you have the personal satisfaction.

 

Your fil...you just can't win for trying. You get to see him in all his glory, both physically and emotionally. Lucky you. That has to be miserable as he seems like he is very difficult even when he is not suffering from a UTI and having symptoms that come with that who mess. It is sad that he abused the nurse right in front of you. Nice guy. It really shows what he is about in terms of his thoughts as unconscious stuff often shows up when uti's are involved. He sounds like a marvelous person to avoid if you can... and why is it that you always get stuck with situations like this? What other daughter in law has to deal with the embarrassment of having both the behavior and the physical part of seeing your fil naked? Although I must say your comment to the nurses about Kate and fil's amount that they talk was terrific. That was artful.

 

Rob needs to be with you. Having a child is a two person issue and I know his job is new but he is going to be a dad X2 and that is worth missing work. Besides you need the support. Don't think another thought about what your mother thinks. She has been consistently wrong about just everything anyway. She is a wonderful barometer of error. Just do the opposite of whatever she says. You are so right about not arguing with her. It is a pointless effort. She is too fearful of being exposed to any thoughts that make her face the truth so she will fight you to the death about anything that makes her feel who she really is. Better to just let her talk about whatever and then do what you want.

It is common to feel that you wanted peace and a loving mother figure. Mom was anything but a fairytale mother and wanting something like true attention and concern. That is a human need. Don't condemn yourself for feeling this way. I know many, many people who feel exactly the same.

 

I know what a knish is, but I never heard of it before you said it. I doubt I will make it up to see NY at holiday time. Maybe later...

 

You will be in my prayers. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hey steve. so its 1045 am and i barely slept last night til the am. all of us slept late, so were behin schedule. im writing this to you and im not packed for the hosp and kates not packed to go to grandmas. and we could be called any minute. and i just ate. not at 7am like they said. anyway, hopefully itll all work out anyway.


 


im writing to you anyway too. i figure we could always have rob drop me there 1st it takes time to register and get your iv and anesthesia ready and stuff, and he could bring kate to my mothers and get back.


you have to traige stuff. lol.


 


i am really nervous about this. kates being super cute and i explained the bab y will be coming today and daddys taking to the hosp so the dr can take the baby out and then shell see us tomorrow. shes going to stay at my mothers. i tried to call my mil- after several attempts to tell her the plan she called me last night from my fils room and i told her a few things and she said she had to go the nurse neede dto ask her questions. i said ok and she never called back.


im not calling her either. my brother said hell come over the weekend and i said ok. im going to bring my computer so ill be able to talk to you.


 


youre the best person to talk to anyway.


ill be assuming my fil will still be there, i guess rob could go visit him while im waiting for the c section as he didnt see him yest. i can call him if theyre moving me sooner. with my luck theyll be giving me his prostate pills and hell be getting my pain meds. since we have the same last name...


 


i dont know why im so nervous. if it was my pt id be like youll be fine well see you when you get back, and all that crap. im worried of course of getting the spinal or the epidural or soemthing to do the block for the c section. i wouldnt mind being intubated but last time i got the succycholine and i was in pain as it causes whole body muscle tetany. and the pain from that was like 2 weeks . and meanwhile the procedure my ob did the vac d and c, well i had no bleeding or cramping and hes gentle. which is why im glad hell be there tonight.


btw my hi risk ob said that he said what i said to dr k. it was just that they have rules that the baby has to be measuring its over 10lbs. so since it was only 9lb 6oz, he said i was stilla candidate for a vag. but since now i still havent had him, and its over 10 and its past my due date.. its time. god i hope another dr doesnt show up. ill be upset. of cours eill let them do it, as frankly i need it tpo be done, but i will rip him an asshole.


 


 


 


as far as my son beig big.. well well see what he grows into. kate is pretty skinny and my mom said that oh kate was big and she got skinny, which si true b/c im careful about not letting her eat junk and stuff. me and this little fatty need to stop at weight watchers on the way home from the hosp.


 


i figured if i do go tonight to the or rob could be there in plenty of time after work as he gets home like 530pm. so why miss a day of work? i just feel better hes here for any bullshit that may arise.. like if they call me early and getting ready and packing and of course hopefully well fit cleaning in. the hi light of my day. i think hes going to stay with me over night as this hosp has a new building thats only womens care - and it looks like a hotel. where i sat yest was so calming it was really nice. i did wonder how they get the blood off the wood floors though honestly...


 


i told rob of my fils behavior and he asked is he confused or just an asshole? i said asshole. he says thats about right. i told him of grabbing the nurses ass and he said im so glad i wasnt there.


then he told me dont stay too long as we were texting. i said well im going to leave now but i had walked to the lobby and taken a break as his father is in another building - the main hosp and i had been in the womens part and its freaking far. plus then walk to the car a mile away. and my spot wasnt even too bad. they have valet which i always used to use to go to the childrens hosp with kate, but didnt know the womens part had a valet... darn it.


 


so what youre saying is you wouldnt want to hang with my fil? come on. racial slurs? harassment of women? dicks hanging out? not your cup of tea? really steve youre a delicate flower.


 


 


as far as wanting my mother to not suck. yes. thats true. its that why do i still let her get to me? or why do i still wonder, why does she hate me so much? see? for a long time i was at peace with it. beofre i met you. i realized from ym fathers interactions with his family, they were damaged. not him. if you can give an organ to a sibling and no one cares enought to visit you.. what more could you do to make them like you? it was a done deal to me. like not everyone is lucky enough to have parents. although in a way i think being an orphan would be easier than interacting with deranged people at times....


 


like if i found out like my parents werent my parents i wouldnt go looking for the real ones. i mean i cant take a chance to have another set of lunatics on my ass. seriously.


 


dont worry steve if you dont make it for the christmas.. theres next. or come in the spring/ fall. the foods always here. lol. its a carb paradise. bagels, pizza, knishes...


ill write to you soon.


 


 

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Who would not be nervous about having a child by c section.?

 

It is very ordinary of course, and the procedure is fast...the prep takes longer. But still it is something that is hard to wait for and the apprehension you feel is normal. I am certain you will do great though. You biggest difficulty is that you are a nurse and know too much. You know all the good stuff and the bad...and why are you talking about being intubated? You're as awake as you are now, just a little bit calmer. You can hold the baby and I've cut the cord on c section delivery's so it's pretty normal. Heck, you can't even see or feel anything and Rob will be right there, next to your right hand side in most cases. I think it all is about the person that does your spinal block. If they are good, you will be good. At least that seems to be the case in my experience.

 

Take some deep breaths, if you can...and try to stay as positive as you can. This will all turn out well and by tonight you will have your baby.

 

I think you and I both could afford serious time away from fil. He's an interesting man yet I feel that his type of interesting is best left to others who are emotionally prepared for it. Right now you are not.

 

So what you are saying is that time talking with me has caused you to feel more aware of your mother's flaws, and instead of being oblivious about her you now are fully in touch with her...and your missed needs, both of the past and now. Well, this may sound weird, but good. That is what should happen and is the first step for you to get your needs met in a different way, protect yourself emotionally from her hurts and distancing and to realize that this was not at all about you and that she is just a mess.

 

God bless you liz and enjoy what will happen once you see the baby. I'll bet he is really cute. C section babies are just so perfect anyway. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve.


i had the c section. late - the labor and delivery unit delivered over 48 babies tha day and it was pushed back a few hrs, we got there ontime and i just got more and more nervous. i asked for anesthesia to give me like a small anti anxiety and she flat out refused. she said itll go to the baby and i was just going to have to suck it up.


steve theres no mercy for me.


i have assholes who freak out at needing a ct scan for 15 min and they get 2mg ativan.


ill tell you the punchline - i got out o and so did the baby - my dr said liz oh my god its a big baby - hes 11lbs. i couldnt see him but i heard him cry and i felt good he was crying. they put him on the scale and hes 10lbs 14oz. 22 inches. the cord wasnt around his neck (like kates was..) and he does not have congenital hip dysplasia. we named him andrew william. and well of course we just love him....


he has those grayish eyes but so did kate and i know theyll be blue as kates are (and rob and i are blue..) and he has very soft fine short hair and it looks like he may be a redhead. but so did kate and she turned platinum. his head is perfect and kates wasnt as she was a really bad conehead due to delivery...


 


it all started with they cudnt get an iv line and she really hurt me stivking me with a large gauge needle 3 times until she stuck my in my right antecubital where i said it needed to go. (my veins are too small for an 18g.)


i was starving nervous and having on and off contraction and bad back pain.


i told the anesthesiologist i had my bp drop last time and she said she thiks i was overdosed and she was going to give me less than normal. i was nervous of course and i said but what if i feel him make the 1st incision? she said id be rapidly sedated and intubated.


of course i was afraid my bp would drop again and she had a neosynephrine drip ready and primed. i sat there just getting worse. i got the spinal and ill admit she was gentle and hit me square. t seemed like a long time that i wasnt numb and that got me more and more worked up. well i dont know what happened but then i was numb up to my neck - too high and couldnt breathe. she kept telling me i could, and put an o2 mask and my arms were numb and they taped me down and i thought ok im going to be intubated, i wasnt and later i found out they had started the 1st cut and rob had unfortunately seen it - i didnt know - as they had him come in and dr k was teaching a resident, and hes very patient and they called rob he came in and walked in on this and was caught by surprise. he said he was ok, i didnt notice as i was in my own freak out land..


 


i couldnt hold the baby for hrs due to my arm numbness but rob tirelessly did for a few hrs - it was 2am and laterand he held the baby on my chest while i kissed him and looked at him, talked to him. i got 3 rounds of ephedrine since i had bps of 60s over 29s apparently. i felt very sleepy and dozed.


 


anyway kate came and it was so sweet - she kept kissing the baby and telling him it was ok she wasnt leaving him and shes right here (ways we reassure her..) we videotaped her for about 10 min patting him kissing him, looking at his feet and her asking me questions like nhow did he get a boo boo on his belly button? and she told him she loved him. and called him baby andrew. (i call kate baby kate)


 


my paents came later and watched it on the camera and my dad had tears in his eyes and he said shes so sweet, i said i know. my mom said where did she even think to say she wasnt leaving or that shes right there. and i just said mom thats how we reassure kate. and she said oh.


 


my fil was still in the hosp, it seemed like my mil was trying to get him to stay and the hosp was bucking back like he shudnt have been here in the 1st place and the social worker seemed to be jumping thru hoops to get him out. they were going to keep him over the weekend and then all of a sudden they were d/cing him, so she was going to get him and then come here and i told rob (and no im not a germo phobe..) i ddnt feel comfortable as hes septic and on abx and he was just on a dirty med surg floor. and the babys not 24hrs old. and rob handled it. when his mom called he told her he was worried (maybe he said us... i didnt ask really..) and his mil said he made a good point. and said she wud come with my bil 1st - they didnt stay long - like maybe 20 min and said they had to go to go get fil. they were going to take kate as the couch is being picked up, the coffee tables were given away to one of robs co workers whose house flooded in the storm, and the tv hanging guy is coming - all in the am. rob is to be cleaning or putting up the christmas tree in the middle of this 4 hr time slot of all this happening if you could imagine. ( i feel like were so busy all the time steve) so then wait for this twist of events...


rob was to have kate go so i could have im with me for an hour to take a shower and get to eat as i havent eaten in 2 days. they dont let you eat for 24hrs post op too. i had a foley til i begged a ob gyn resident to get it out 2 hrs early (i fought my dr this am at 6am and told him i know i can void...) and i wanted my ivf stopped. and to eat. they said no but i had to get out of bed. i said ill do all that .. i did get out of bed and sat out of bed, took care of the baby and no narcotics. i do admt i was in pain.


well robs mother calls him and says she doesnt think shell be able to get him up the steps to their apt on the 2nd floor and can he leave now with kate and go with them?


so rob tore out of here and left me not showered. so i got up and did too much i admit. cuz now im awake in the middle of the night in pain. he left at 7pm or so, i cleaned up the room, put stuff away organized, got my catheter out, went to the shower and washed up changed myself, and i went to urinate and i passed a clot that ive never had happen, it was as big as a softball. and you know ive been preg alot.. i showed it to my ob nurse and shes newer she got the charge nurse and they said it was significant and alarming. (not enough to get a set o f vitals on me btw.. see what i mean about ob? and i said why dont we d/c the heparin? and theyre like they (the drs) may want u to have it and i said well we have proof im bleeding, none that im clotting... so ill be refusing it if you dont get it d/cd.


am i crazy?


and my nurse is very nice, she came back and checked on me.. i havent had anymore, so im trying to just chill out. the babys sleeping in the nursery right now.


right after the clot thing he pooped 3 times, took a bottle and cried for 2 hrs. my back was killing me as i was sitting up trying to get him calm, and finally got him to sleep and the nursery shows up and says we need to take him to weigh and do fingerstick and change him and fill up the bassinett..


i feel guilty leaving him there. and im wide awake with the pain. i should get some sleep. going to try now..

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Liz...Congratulations to you and your family on the birth of Andrew William! You went through a lot to have him, but now he is here and you are done, minus recovery, with all the pregnancy stuff. You must be really happy. And exhausted!

 

Your birth story sounds so much like the birth of my last one, down to seeing the surgical cut (me) to having a clot pass that looked like something from an alien's movie and not being able to hold the baby. And look at you! What a are a trooper, no narcotics and only some Tylenol I'll bet. You will be sore for a while but you are tough and stubborn (sorry, but true) and you will be back in the functional world in no time.

 

Kate is just one of those hallmark moment kids. She always seems to be doing something sweet and charming. She is so cute. And although you can't predict when she is going to do these things, Rob is getting some of this on video right, even if it is cell phone video. And if Rob is not...why not buddy? This is a moment in time will go fast and you want to remember it. And you can tell him that I said so.

 

You are not crazy. This nonsense at the hospital is typical of how they seem to treat those who just gave birth. I swear your time is a repeat of things that I have seen just so many times...all the way to the medication d/c even when they know you don't need a blood thinner. Crazy is not you. It is them and it is universal.

 

Why am I not surprised that fil would in some way influence this wonderful time by having Rob have to run out to help. Yup. This stuff never ends.

Don't feel guilt about having the baby in the nursery. After a c section you will need some down time and although Andrew William might be away for a number of hours it will not harm him in the least. You will see him plenty at home and he isn't going to be impacted in any way by doing so. Trust me on this one. My wife did this both ways and having the child in the nursery is not bad, for a few hours...

 

I am so happy for you Liz. Congratulations again!SealedSteven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve, ill be starting a new question for you. i just got home from the hospital.

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
I will look for it.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve. still working on writing. i am kind of slow doing for everything due to incision so i havent really sat yet. my parents are coming over and even though its to be to help it puts me in a tailspin.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

hi steve, i forgot to put in my new question im concerned that kate will be daddys girl and i will settle for being andrews mommy. i dont want that type of separation of us.. i tell kate were a family and as a family were bringing andrew home... but of course i feel like kate is sticking on rob due to the stress and he hasnt bonded well with andrew due to gis own family and our quest of fixing the house up..


 


oh and our beautiful sectional came. with one piece in the wrong color if you can believe it. it was the other color we were deciding about and the color is so close you do have to look to see it, but its not the same, and again if you can believe it - thomasville is putting us thru our changes with emails and not being able to do anything until rob sends another email with pics of the tags inside the couch after 3 days ago he sent pics of the wrong color etc... and of course they cant telll us if itll be here in time for christmas. i was close to telling the customer service woman - its 5k and if thats the case they can take the wholething back and ill buy somewhere else. i mean you can plainly see the color diff and how could this be our fault?


 


oh and we asked my bro and his wife to be andrews godparents...

Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
I will put this question into the new...Steven

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