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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I have a 46 year old daughter that lives 1800 miles from me.

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I have a 46 year old daughter that lives 1800 miles from me. being around her is like walking on egg shells, whenever family gets together,which is about every 2-3 years. She ends up mad, not talking at all,or yelling and trying to justifiy her behavior. she talks fast,talks loud and says things that are so off the wall I cant believe it. I admit she had a difficult relationship with her father and blames everything on her childhood.she was never abused, and most of the time she got into trouble she caused it herself. Ive spent most of her life trying to make excuses for her, defending her and I have pretty much had it. I love her with all my heart, but I cant keep doing this with her. You never know what will cause it.

It sounds like your daughter has difficulty with boundaries. You can still offer them to her even at her age. Sometimes people don't really see how abrasive they are. Ignoring this behavior does not work. It does allow you to not feed into the behavior so that she doesn't have that attention seeking effect on you. What you shouldn't do is walk on egg shells. She has to know that when she is acting badly others don't have to tip toe around her. I would confront this head on but orchestrate your comments at just the right time. Be firm but not angry. If you consistently challenge her in a calm and collected tone you will see a change. You can't however do that by allowing her to get over. You have to assertive and direct. When you address this directly even in front of others she won't be allowed to continue with her bad behavior. You want to set a precedent right now that you will back down. Don't let her continue to intimidate others or you.

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