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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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i have a question. I have female friends, including one I

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i have a question. I have female friends, including one I have known for thirty years that won't take a picture and most of them don't respond to my Facebook pokes or messages. They are very nice to me and give me hugs and one of them will not talk to me anymore. Why is it that it seems that women like me, but they act like they are ashamed of me. fI do talk to myself sometimes. Maybe that might have something to do with that. I have been in therapy for three years. I also try to meet someone on online dating sites, but nobody response to my email. What gives?


 


My therapist suggested a dating coack also


 

Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like you have a lot of female friends, which in and of itself is a good sign that you are a nice guy. If females found you unfriendly or standoffish, they would not hug you or be friends with you on line.

Therefore, the reason your female friends avoid your messages, pokes or emails is unclear. It could be that talking to yourself makes them uncomfortable because they do not understand it. Or it could be that they have other reasons they are not sharing with you. Maybe they are busy or have other relationships and they do not want their husbands/boyfriends to become jealous.

You mentioned having a friend who you have known for thirty years. She may be a good person to ask about this situation. You need someone you can trust who cares about you to explain what she is seeing so you can understand how to fix the issue. Try sitting down with her and asking her to be open and honest with you, even if she is hesitant. Then tell her that you really would like to know why she feels you are not having any luck at dating. Be prepared to hear some things you may not like but keep an open mind. You are going to be able to get some answers and have things to work on so you can improve your relationship with females and start dating. So this is for the good.

Also, consider a dating coach or at least some advice from experts. There are many forums on line where you can talk to others about your experience and get some good feedback.

It is good you are talking with your therapist as well. You can use the support to help you work through this. Also think about learning more on your own through self help. Here are some resources to help:

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn

The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man by Brett McKay and Kate McKay

Stumbling Naked in the Dark: Overcoming Mistakes Men Make with Women by Bradley Fenton

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

 

 

 

 

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