Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.While it is common to feel some pain about a difficult time, even after many years, feeling deep pain and anger after so long indicates that there is more to what you felt about what happened than just the one incident.You mentioned binge eating and self worth issues. Along with what you feel about the incident with your then fiancé many years ago, points to something deeper that is bothering you. In situations like this what is usually the cause is childhood trauma or abuse that occurred and was never resolved. The pain from childhood abuse/trauma can greatly affect your self esteem, self worth and ability to recover from painful times in your life. When you are dealing with betrayal, just like you did, the pain can be especially deep.I can understand your reluctance to consider therapy. However, with the right therapist and support, you can address how your pain and anger and improve how you feel in a short period of time. Consider talking with your doctor about a referral or search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php. By using referrals or screening the therapist ahead of time, you increase your chances of finding someone who can help you work through this.Also, you can use self help to work on what you feel. By educating yourself about infidelity, betrayal and how to let go of the feelings, you can help yourself move on. Here are some resources to help you (some of these are for during a marriage but the same principles apply):http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infidelity/MH00110 Not "Just Friends" : Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal by Shirley Glass and Jean Coppock StaeheliThe Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life by Les Carter and Frank MinirthEmotionally Free : Letting Go of the Past to Live in the Moment by David S. ViscottI hope this has helped you,Kate
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