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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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can a man be In Love with his wife while having no desire for sex with her? Middle-aged co

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can a man be In Love with his wife while having no desire for sex with her? Middle-aged couple who only met and married a few years ago.

It is possible to be in love without engaging in sexual activities. Love or being in love can transcend the physical component.
The issue may be whether or not the lack of sexual intimacy is primarily due to ED or any other things ex. (asexuality).
It would may be easier if one's partner is aware of what is going on and is able both deal with it as a team.

Feel free to reply and provide more info as needed (since it is more of a hypothetical question whether or not someone can be in love in the absence of sexual intimacy) Each person has their own way of dealing with situations like these. What would make the relationship healthy or unhealthy would largely depend on how one's spouse is dealing w/ this.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

wife enjoys physical affection, does not miss sex, issue is about wondering how husband feels about her attractiveness.

Each partner wold need to try and communicate openly. If one's wife is doubtful as to how her husband views her, she would want to speak to him about this. Hopefully her husband is honest and she believes what he tells her. The two have been together for a few years now and hopeful are able to read each other's emotions, intentions and know when one is being honest or deceptive. If she does not communicate with her husband, she could be making assumptions about his level of attractiveness that may not be objective. She would have only her own subjective thoughts and emotional reactions to base her fears onto. These fears don't necessarily reflect reality 100% as both partners are responsible for the relationship's dynamics.
For example, if she has underlined self esteem issues, she could be mistakenly thinking that he is not as attracted to her as he should be, when in fact he could well be attracted to her physically and otherwise. She knows that ED is something that he himself is dealing with, which, can be affecting his own self esteem. As such, when a person does not feel well and confident about oneself, this can be displaced onto someone else. In the latter case, he could be reacting to her as a result of his own problems. In the other scenario, she could be projecting her self esteem issues onto him and holding him even subconsciously responsible for her level of attractiveness. Neither is a healthy scenario. Therefore, communication must be open and ongoing.
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