Hello, I am here for you and am happy to respond. Give me a moment to carefully read over and consider your question.
Sorry to hear that you are judging yourself so harshly. Being a lesbian is nothing to be ashamed of. What eveil thoughts are you having?
Are you Bi-Polar?
Oh, I see. So do you feel that sex and porn are evil?
That's okay. Lets get back to your question. You asked if having evil thoughts was normal. Can your describe in more detail the evil thoughts you are having so that I can give you my best answer.
Sex and porn are not evil!!!
Are you suicidal?
Good that you are not suicidal.
It is not evil to have thoughts of telling the seniors something hurtful. We all have feelings like that. The key is that we do not act on our thoughts.
Sex and porn are not evil. We can choose to use them for good or evil, however.
Are you in ongoing psychotherapy?
Good that you shared this with your therapist. How often do you see her?
And are you worried about not being able to see her once your insurance runs out for the year?
Have you talked with your therapist about finding a way for you to see her more often at an affordable fee?
I see. How long have you been in therapy with her?
You are fine; I am not overwhelmed.
Yes, that is possible.
Only you know your sexual orientation.
No, we cannot change our sexual orientation, we are born with it>
Well, just get interested in them and that will take your mind off yourself.
That is understandable. Just thank them and tell them that you are not ready for a relationship right now.
You are certainly dealing with a lot. I believe that you need to be in therapy once a week to work on these issues. Therapy will help you with these social issues. I know that you have seen your therapist for a long time, but it may be time to find someone who can see you weekly that you can afford. Many therapists offer a sliding scale fee for their clients who cannot afford their full fee.
I don't believe you are ready to socialize yet.
That is why it would be a good idea to find a therapist who is not associated with your work.
That is because of your depression.
Then talk with her about seeing you more often; she has an ethical responsibility to work with you. I am leaving the site in five minutes. Do you have another question for me?
CBT would be great!!! CBT teaches you skills that will help you be able to function better and elimiate your anxious thoughts.
I highly recommend that you make an appt with the therapist your psychiatrist suggested. Anything further for me?
You are most welcome. My pleasure to chat with you. Please remember to submit a positive rating for my answer. To request me for a future question, simply put "Ask Eleanor" at the beginning. I wish you healing, take care, Eleanor