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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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My 46 yr/old boyfriend is addicted to porn and masterbates

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My 46 yr/old boyfriend is addicted to porn and masterbates at least once a day. We have intercorse at least once a week. He says looking at porn and masterbating is a 'stress release'. If this wasn't alarming enough, just yesterday, only 4 hrs after making love, I caught him on the couch, watching a (stressful) football game ... masterbating. Of course he denied it. I don't think that's normal and there is something wrong about that. Or is it? ... Linda

The word "normal" is not really how we gage behavior. What masturbation and porn can be is an addiction. We can't say that once a day is normal, but we consider these addictions when these cause stress or discomfort in your life when doing them. As with any addiction, the inability to cut down or stop is the primary sign of an addiction. If he doesn't consider this a problem then it is difficult to really address what he is willing to do. Usually people who have an addiction do not see this as hurting their relationship or are willing to trade masturbation with sex with a partner. The masturbation is not in place or replaced by a partner because they don't see this as the same. They have not come to terms with how it affects you. You need to involve someone outside of yourself if this has begun to be a problem. The question is whether he is willing to address this. He has to acknowledge your feelings and be willing to stop doing this. That is best addressed by a therapist. You can find a relationship counselor instead of a sexual therapist if this is less threatening. Either way he has to agree to seek help. Anything that injures the relationship is not "normal"

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