I would like to thankyou for your reply..I will definately address my current issues with my mood. My number one priority is my daughter and I am concerned with how preoccupied and disconnected that I have become and am worried about Jasmine's father being emotionally unavailable to the both of us..
What I would like to ask if I can..is im well aware of the borderline traits that I possess, my partner is quite narcissistic and Ive been feeling as though ive been living on a one way street. He frustrates me with how he can not show empathy which is why I probably battle with feelings of abandonement and I emotionally shut down and reject him whenever he gets on that plane back to work..
He is very fixed in his beliefs and does seem rigid with regard to his chosen working lifestyle despite the affect that it has on us as a family. when he is home is constantly busy on the work phone and computer and his OCD is out of control. He has no boundaries
He struggles with intimacy and has difficulty with full eye contact...
Should I be worried?..
I have grown tired of our superficial relationship and wonder is it all worth fighting for?..with what little family support I have and having a 7 month old girl.. I just want to be in a healthy relationship but with how character disordered he is Im not really sure if counselling will resolve our current problem. (However, despite my reservations I will give it a try)..
I am feeling really confused by this..as this has been going on for a long time..
After 7 years I've begged him to go to counselling but has always refused with the belief that 'it wont change his perspective of me', and that I will only end up leaving him again'..Which is why I left him a while ago for 6 months and he had tears in his eyes..???
Before I had Jasmine I tried to maintain boundaries with him but he always seems to talk me out of it and control all finances, and because of this I may have dropped the ball and threated to walk away many occasions.
I try to do the right thing for myself, and change the dynamics in our relationship so that Im less dependant on him emotionally and financially..but I am struggling..Is it worth it after all this time?
Please help me..