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psychlady
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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Hi there. Me and my girlfriend have sex around once a week.

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Hi there.

Me and my girlfriend have sex around once a week. Which was fine until i found out she uses a vibrator on the 2 nights that i go to work on. I was wondering why she would do this and not want to have sex more often instead?

There are several reasons why a female would use a vibrator that has nothing to do with the quality of your relationship. Many women need or want this sexual experience and still have quality relationships with partners who they really love. These reasons do not influence why or how much they have with their partners. One reason is that an experience physically or psychologically with a vibrator is much different. A woman may reach climax differently or faster with a vibrator and this leads to a different sexual experience. She may be embarrassed or worry about you being angry and hide this activity because she perceives that it may lead to hurting your feelings. Another reason why women use a vibrator is that they can reach a orgasm without feelings of shame, awkwardness or embarrassment. Women in general can be embarrassed by their own enjoyment of sex. With a vibrator she doesn't have to worry about this. Women are not conditioned to be sexual creatures and this can lead to feeling awkward in sexual situations. Women have been conditioned to not ask for specific that they enjoy so they use a vibrator to meet those specific needs.

None of these issues say you are disappointing in bed. You may want to incorporate a vibrator in your sex life or find out what orgasm she is getting from it and try something new. Don't see it as a replacement for you but use this chance to have an open discussion.

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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I dont think she is dissapointed with me in the bedroom. I was just wondering if she was horny often why wouldnt she want sex more often ? How come on the nights when i am home she isnt really interested?

If it is related to her feeling "horny" then she may want to have sex but based on the others reasons she is seeking a solitary experience. Women say that sex with a man and a vibrator are two different experiences. She may not be seeking sex but a solitary sexual experience. It may not be an issue of timing. Maybe she just engages in this out of chance.
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