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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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my husband says he cant be bothered with sex, its been 5 months

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my husband says he cant be bothered with sex, its been 5 months now and it has always been like this we have been together 3 years now. But he asked me to wank him off the other night but hes not prepared to give anything back. I need help please Sue

Maybe the issue isn't really sex but communication. A breakdown in communication can result in a lack of intimacy. If he isn't willing to work on this then initiate the work yourself by trying some self help in this area. A great resource in this area is the Mars and Venus series. You can't have too much information in a new relationship. He may follow suit if he sees that things can change. Find convenient ways to have a conversation about sex but don't clobber him over the head. If it is a sexual issue then something is going on that is keeping him from enjoying a healthy sex life. This may be an issue in the relationship but just as easy may not be within the relationship. There are a list of possible reasons why someone doesn't enjoy sex or allow themselves to enjoy sex. This can be anything - even some mood issues. Don't own this issue by yourself or you will find yourself feeling completely responsible. Instead get to the deeper issue. Keep communication open rather than putting yourself out there as in the things you have tried. In the end, you can always find a relationship counselor on the site for the American Psychological Association.

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