Hello, I’d like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you might still be traumatized from what happened to you as a child. That may sound odd, but when you suffer a trauma and it is unresolved, those feelings can linger the rest of your life. That is because traumas are so significant and affect you deeply, leaving behind strong emotions.
Depending on what happened to you as a child, who hurt you and what kind of support you received afterwards from your parents and others in your life, you may have formed certain beliefs about the men in your life or men in general. You also may still have trust issues and be picking men to be with that represent how you were treated. You mentioned that your boyfriend is arrogant and confident. You may be with him because of the unresolved issues from your past. And you might also be arguing with him for the same reason.
Feeling like you might someday end up in mental hospital says a lot. Feeling that you are not emotionally healthy tells you that you may feel fear, depression and other strong emotions that you don’t know how to address. Children who are abused or traumatized frequently feel “crazy” because what happened to them is so hard to take in and the emotions very difficult to handle. This does not make you crazy, it just makes you feel that way.
What can help is therapy. Talking to someone about what you feel and getting help to sort out the trauma you suffered can go a long way to helping you see your relationships and the man you are with in a different way. If you feel better about your past, you can feel better about your current situation and your future. Your feelings will make more sense to you and you can get your needs met in healthier ways.
To find a therapist, talk with your doctor about a referral. Or you can search online at http://www.bacp.co.uk/
You can also learn more about childhood trauma and how it affects you. Here are some resources to help:http://www.helpguide.org/mental/emotional_psychological_trauma.htm
Emotional Triangle: A True Story Of Overcoming Childhood Trauma, Years Of Grief, And Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder by Blazie Holling and Alexandra Aina
You may also want to consider that you have lingering depression from what you went through. Some of the symptoms you indicated might be caused by depression. And you may have mild depression, which is more difficult to detect. If you do see a therapist, they can do an evaluation to determine if you do suffer from depression and they can help you treat it as well.
I hope this has helped you,