Hi Shay, it’s great to talk with you again!I’m glad to hear that you are settled into your new home but I do understand the chaos of moving. It can seem like everything is up in the air and that you don’t have a home or a “base” yet. There is not that secure feeling that you get when you can just come home and have everything in its place. You will get there though. A little bit at a time.I have a suspicion that your move might have brought up more feelings than anticipated. When you look at the stress scale, moving is right up there with divorce and marriage and having a child. It is a life changing event, even if you did move within the same area. Home is where most of us feel the safest. And when you change that, it takes time to feel that again. On top of your move, you also have been working with another therapist with a different type of therapy, one that you had a bad experience with before. So the stress around that change might have been high as well, more than you realized.Add to that the merger with LP’s firm and your responsibilities to your job and church, and the recent anniversary of your assault and you really have a recipe for overload. You have too much change and not enough time to process it all. There are only so many coping mechanisms that you have before you begin to feel as you do now. Adding a cold to that only brings down your defenses even more. It sounds like you made good decisions in your life in regards XXXXX XXXXX job and moving, but it may be that all the changes came at once, which would cause you to feel overwhelmed. Dealing with all these changes in a way that makes you feel more in control can help.You mentioned thinking about talking with Dr. M. I would encourage you to do that. Tell her what you feel and add that you would like her input about what you are experiencing. She may not be able to do anything about it, but just listening may be enough. She is there to help you and if talking about your feelings helps, then that is what you need. Nothing wrong with that.It can also help you to make a spot in your new home that is all yours. Concentrate on making it a quiet, settled place. Fill it with things you like and include items that make you feel relaxed, keeping in mind all your senses. Smell, touch, taste (some tea or sweets), etc. It can be your refuge when you feel tired.Make sure you are breathing. Many times under stress people forget to breath and end up “shallow” breathing, which increases their stress. Remind yourself to take deep breaths.Find a quote or comforting saying that can help you when you begin to feel overwhelmed. One I like is- “This too shall pass”. Very simple and easy to repeat. It can help you to focus on one thing when you feel bad.Call Linda. She has been your one steady support through all of this. Let her know how you are feeling and just ask her for what you need. Some comfort, someone to listen, whatever. And keep in mind your own strength. Shay, you have been through so much and you are still going strong. You are an amazing person. And I have no doubt you will do fine through all this. You are smart, you know when to reach out and ask for support. That alone will get you through.
I'm glad you reached out to talk with me. I'm here anytime for you. Kate
I am glad what we talked about helped :) You do have a lot going on right now and feeling overwhelmed is a natural response.
Even if you can't get to your special space right now, maybe you can plan it in your mind as you go along sorting things. And if you see something special you'd like to include along the way, you can set it aside. Sometimes just the planning alone can help you relax and it gives you something calming to look forward to.
I hope your appointment is going well with Dr M and she can be of some help to you.
Take care of yourself and let me know how things progress. As always, you are in my thoughts. And I will say a prayer that everything settles down soon.
You're welcome, Shay :) I'm glad you had a chance to talk with Linda and Dr. M. Even if you didn't get to meet with Linda, just having the support is nice.