Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
You husband is a malignant narcissist. That means that he has an extreme form of personality disorder who thinks he is better than others, has no conscience, cannot control his behavior, and takes pleasure from his cruelty and sadism. He has no feelings at all for you or anyone else. If he says something nice to you, he is lying.
He is not like most other people. To say that he has no soul really hits the nail on the head. He is someone that you should not be around anymore. He is destroying your life and has taken you over completely. Right now he owns you and his is destroying your soul as well.
I understand that he controls you by making you deathly afraid of him. You can put a stop to him by getting an order of protection against him and having him thrown out of your house. He will not be allowed to come around you or contact you and if he does he will go to jail.
You can have him arrested for assault and battery or for rape and sodomy for what he does to you and what he allows others to do to you. You can also have them arrested and charged with rape.
These are horrible crimes being committed against you and you must stop him.
The first thing you should do is to call a rape crisis center. It is anonymous and you will speak to someone who can help you and guide you towards getting your life back.
Your case is one of the most abusive and horrible ones that I have heard of. A man as mentally as he is is a danger to your life and you MUST get away.
Call these numbers and you will get all the help that you need to end this nightmare
.National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE(NNN) NNN-NNNN
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1.800.656.HOPE (1.800.656.4673)
website is http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-hotline
I know this is hard for you. Call either or both of these numbers and you will get advised and protected right away. Knowledge is protection.
Please stay safe. God bless you. My prayers are with you.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC