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We have been married 35 years. My name is XXXXX XXXXX husband

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We have been married 35 years. My name is XXXXX XXXXX husband has called me, as he did today among a group of people, and has introduced me to other people as Carol. He always calls other people by their correct name and stresses how improtant it is as he is extroverted and deals with lots of people. He has absolutely no loss of memory issues. We do have a crappy marriage, sleep in separate bedrooms (his decision), basically roommates, etc. At home he calls me mummy or mommy which I totally detest. I have mentioned before it was hurtful to be called the wrong name in front of people, but I suspect this how someone displays their way of not being intersted or thinking of the other person. Not out meanness but they just don't think care. I've given up on saying anything when he does it but it still makes very sad.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.

It sounds like this has become very hurtful. I totally sympathize with you and would be devastated by such behavior. I have never heard of such behavior from a spouse and this does sound intentional. If he has no memory issues, then this could be a passive aggressive way of displaying another emotion on his part. He may be resentful or purposely show you that he is unhappy or angry. I would see if you can get to the bottom of why he does this. Is it a way of being disrespectful or displaying his hidden emotions. By finding out where the relationship is you can use this information to understand this behavior. Maybe the relationship is beyond repair and you need to develop rules so that you can coexist as something other than partners. When you establish the ground rules for the relationship then this won't be as hurtful. This may be his way of saying that the relationship is truly roommates. You have to determine where the relationship is and how you will socialize under that rule.

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Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Wow thank you for such an insightful answer. I don't expect any changes from my husband, but just reading your response makes me feel that I do have some value and I need to make the changes I know in my heart that are necessary. Thanks again.

Expert:  psychlady replied 1 year ago.
You are welcome
psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience: Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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