One of the most important things you can do is become more self aware- -starting writing your thoughts and feelings down as if you were writing the story of your life and how you have related to others. This can be done on your computer. Just write what comes to mind about the following subjects:
1) your family- and how the members relate-
2) what you learned about relationships growing up -how it was between your parents.
3) all thoughts and feelings about what you think or see when you look in the mirror
4) all thoughts and feelings about how you think other people see you.
5) What your fantasy would be in terms of relationship and what you would like to have if you could wave a magic wand.
Don't worry about how it sounds- just start writing and you will be amazed and what comes out.
This is going to take some time and that is why you need some professional help- writing will help you develop the framework that will help you to figure out what is going on within yourself and that which you can then share with a therapist to help you put this together,
I also like this link:http://www.helpguide.org/toolkit/emotional_health.htm
Use the tool kit to help you work on you.
I hope these tips will help.
All the best, Bill
I appreciate your positive rating!