How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jean Your Own Question

Jean
Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience:  Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
66147936
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Jean is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My grandson continues to cry when his mother leaves for work.

Customer Question

My grandson continues to cry when his mother leaves for work. His father works in the home, and he also cries when his father has to go upstairs to work.
He screams at me, and locks himself in a closet as he cries uncontrollably.
i use a kind voice when I am talking with him. I told his mother that I wish that I could him to self soothe himself. She said that he will get over it!
Yesterday, I took him to Macy's with me while I bought some socks. I told him that he had to stay with me. Of course, he ran, and I couldn't find him.
I immediately as for security assistance. They found him in a chair at the other end of the store. I know that the last time that I asked for your help, you asked me if I cold hang in there with him. I said,"yes" but I don't think that I can. When his mother leaves, she leaves quickly, so he won't know that she left.
Today, I hurt all over- my knees, neck, and lower back. I want to tell his parents that maybe someone else maybe can help him more than I can.Help?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Jean replied 2 years ago.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

Hello, I can try and assist you. Welcome! Thank you for your post.

Jean N/20pluscounts :

I notice you had been working with "Ask Eleanor", did you want to wait for her to be available to assist you?

Jean N/20pluscounts :

The situation you describe sounds very challenging. You must be torn between being that direct caregiver for your grandchildren, and removing yourself from the conflict you describe. In addition to the conflict in the family you sound like you are in pain-hard to keep up with the little guy! That is frightening when a child runs off when you are in a large store. You did the right thing in asking for help from security- thank goodness it turned out okay. Are you wondering if this is more than you can realistically manage?

Customer:

Yes, I do think that this is more than I can realistically handle

Jean, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 433
Experience: Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
Jean and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Jean replied 2 years ago.
It's a difficult thing in such situations. You have to take care of yourself. If there is tremendous stress and conflict, and you are not getting the support you need, it is wearing you down. You are the grandmother and as the grandmother you want the interaction to be much more carefree, relaxed, and positive. If you are warn out, stressed out, not so sure you are up to the task of being anything to anyone.

The challenges you describe sound like they need to be handled more directly by the parents first. If you decide to step back as the sitter, you may be better able to support the family. It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed. Put that back onto the parents to solve. You certainly can share your concerns, offer support, but stepping back may be the best thing for you.

There's no doubt about it- this is a very difficult situation that you see and understand quite well. However, it is up to the parents to first determine if there is a problem, and take the steps to make things better. If what you describe continues, the parents won't be able to negate and or ignore it. That little boy is trying to communicate something is not working- he's the little barometer.

Best of wishes on this one, taking care of yourself is important in all of this- so you can be the grandmother you want to be.
Expert:  Jean replied 2 years ago.
Hello,
How are things going for you?

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Jean
Jean
Psychotherapist
332 Satisfied Customers
Masters degree in counseling, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)