Kate: Currently they are watching my emotions and trying to label me as bi polar. If I show an emotion they are saying that I have up and down emotions. Like when I have sadness in my voice about storm Sandy victems or was happy at my birthday ie. fluctuating emotions. Does "sorry you feel that way" apply to labeling me?
No it doesn't. When you say that, you are putting the person's feelings back onto them. So if they say to you that you are volatile in your emotions and therefore you are Bipolar, saying "I'm sorry you feel that way" is only saying "Well, that is your opinion and not mine".
If your family is trying to label you as mentally ill, it sounds like all ability to communicate with them has broken down completely. It may be better to avoid them as much as you can like you mentioned doing, and try to see a therapist to help you cope with the difficulty they are causing in your life. People have moved away just to get out of toxic family situations like yours so that is not unrealistic to consider if you feel things are getting bad enough.
Kate: I will rate you well, no problem. I have a box pop up that says...we want to help you with your Answer Please clarify what exactly you want to know". I previously asked you one more question. Now I have this pop up. I put in the box....How do I deal with the phone calls when I opt out of exchanging presents by mail or should I. At the bottom of the box says click yes to accept my answer. I can not find the Yes and can not make this box dissapear. You are being very helpful...but I can't make this box go away.
Kate: pop up box has dissapeared.
I am sorry for the inconvenience. If the pop up had continued, I would have contacted the moderators for you to clear it up. But I am glad it went away. And thank you so much for the rating and the bonus. I appreciate it very much!
I hope it works out with your family.
My best to you,Kate
Kate: I have helped so much, thank you. I have informed family that I will not be joining them for the holidays. They expressed that exchanging presents for Christmas would be a lot of trouble. I told them to make it easier since I would not be there we would not need to exchange. I confirmed that my niece also is narcissisc. Breaks my heart, so frustrated and feel helpless and misunderstood. Realize it's not in them to care and they feel is an atribute to show no emotions. Now they are calling & begging me to come and have assured me that I not be anyones focal point. Ignore me? hum. I am wanting to confront my niece about family history and is hard not to do it as our last conversation was a real eye opener with her. My parents were not physicaly abusive I was just something to feed and clothe. Seems, thankfully they were a mild case. I always figured my lesson in life was to live without love as men are unaffectionate/abusive. I quit dating 6 yrs ago. As I have read 1 book and am reading Freeing yourself from Narcissist I have found I am a narcissist magnet and all my friends are narcissistic w/no emotions. The only friend that is not has so many problems and adopted her daughters handicaped son I hesitate to talk to her to much about all this. I have times of deep frustration, sadness anger etc. I am learning to deal but is slow. I don't sleep much as it works on me when I go to bed and is quiet. I have tried Kava tea, sleepy time tea, walking, some times I can not keep my mind off it and it is a misrable feeling. Mom & Dad have passed away. My sister and brother are 16 & 14 years older than I and I think brother is the same, he lives away. It is still a little hard to understand how they were unemotinal and siblings are vicious. I don't care to talk to my sister but my niece is calling and came to the house. I don't pick up and I didn't answer. I will probably be confronted soon. I am wondering how to give them the final answer without setting them in motion. My parents were smart and honorable but not abusive. How are we such a mess? After 54 years of why's I have answers. The world seems full of narcissicist people. I want to be able to spot the quick but not go overboard and think everyone is such. I made it through a hurtful conversation with my niece with out setting her in motion but is still fresh on my mind and is hard realizing how as she grows older she becomes more narcissicistic. I am unemployed and am having a hard time focusing on finding a job. But in many ways this is so freeing. I am begining to want to do things again. I have had the life sucked out of me trying to befriend sis for the last 3 years. I am over her. The nicer I was, apoligizing for anything in our past the meaner she got. Please anymore thoughts on dealing? I still love them all but realize it's not in them.
Hello, it is nice to hear from you.
I would be more than happy to continue working with you on any newquestions you have. All I ask is that you remember to rate my answers for eachnew/different question you ask. Or you can start a new question and we can work from there. Does this work for you?
Yes, absolutly, did not understand to rate after each answer. Thank You. Still a little raw for composure with them as of yet.