I’m a 43-year-old male who over the years suspected having certain “issues” but never really confronted it. Generally I ignored where possible and when confronted - I would just accept as normal life issues.
Today I’m not so sure I was all that normal and I find myself a little frustrated in not seeking advice or understanding many years back. Anyway they say it’s never too late to learn and this is my first step to the road of enlightenment.
My issues (and not particularly in this order)
I’ve always had issues concentrating for long periods. Even writing this email I’ve been distracted a few times by either, finding myself doing something else like answering an email, looking at my phone or just my in my thought process.
I consider myself a bright enough person but I’m so forgetful. Don’t rattle off a phone number to me, as I won’t be able to repeat it straight back. It’s as if my brain refuses to collect and store detail. Not sure how I got through my studies?
I’ve always had issues with sleeping
. Till this day I’m the lightest sleeper and don’t let me have anything on my mind, I will never get to sleep.
If I must be honest I think this has been my worst trait and definitely been the ball and chain that’s kept be back from doing great things. Lucky for me, in-between the periods of procrastination I have these wonderful spurts of awesome energy where I fly through and get anything outstanding done. Thank goodness for this as its what’s got me though my career. I don’t think I’m lazy so I cant blame it on that, I always just blamed it on being too cautious and thus taking longer to make the correct decisions. Amazing how we lie to ourselves …
I’m sure I have suffered mild depression while growing up but I’ve never accepted, confronted or treated it. Once again I thought it was normal and my macho like personality forced me to suck it up and move on. It was obviously not that bad as I got through my teens, early adulthood relatively unscathed (I think!) No one ever confronted me about it so I guess I hid it well.
Maybe maturity has brought a sense of wanting to look after ones body and mind better as we leave our younger carefree days behind us and move forward, maybe its because these episodes are getting worse or maybe its just proving a challenge for me and the one closest to me. I’m not sure but something has spurred me on to take action and to at least understand what I’ve been through and currently going through.
At the moment I’m going through a period where I’m unmotivated, lack excitement and just feel pretty numb. It’s got so bad that I feel it is having a negative effect on my relationship with my partner besides other things. I’m not excited to see her or spend time with her but then again I’m not really excited about much. I could win the biggest lotto ever tomorrow and I know it wouldn’t change my mood.
Like before I know I’m going to wake one day and feel better and life will move on BUT maybe this is the time to confront, acknowledge and maybe fix
Thanks for taking the time to read.