Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
You ARE apparently under more stress than you can handle. You are having paranoid thoughts about others whom you think may be abandoning your or going against you in some way.
You talk about self-harm as well.
Your symptoms lead in two directions:
1) Borderline Personality Disorder
where the biggest trigger is feeling that those close to you are abandoning you or turning against you. Typical reaction is anger, mood change, not feeling like yourself, reckless behavior, and self-harm (cutting is a frequent method).
2) Paranoid Personality Disorder
, where you have a variety of unfounded suspicions. This could be a premorbid condition that could precede schizophrenia.
3) Schizophrenia paranoid type.
The first one BPD, seems a bit more likely, but you will need a thorough assessment from a mental health professional who has experience and knowledge of personality disorders and can assess and treat you.
There are three places you can search for help, if you can't get preliminaryi help at college:
Here is one place to look:
Here is another:
Here is a third place:
I definitely urge you to see a professional with experience, and I wish you good fortune.
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC