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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4022
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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Why it bother me whenever my hubby watch entertainment that

Resolved Question:

Why it bother me whenever my hubby watch entertainment that show sexy lady than I get over reacted and insulted him?am I crazy?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 1 year ago.
Hi there,

Welcome to Just answer !

Well i am sorry to know about your problem , but beforre i answer your question i will like to ask a few queries so as to gain some more insight into your problem.

1) Kindly confirm this -- whenever he watches good looking females on television you tend to over-react and insult him ? is this is the problem Or is it that whenever he sees a good looking femlae on television you tend to feel insulted by him ? is this the case. Kindly confirm which of these two statements is right ?

2) since how long a duration / period of time has this been going on ?

3) how is your relationship with your husband otherwise ? has there been any tension or arguments or diagreements in the recent past ?

4) are you excessively possessive of your husband ? if yes , then have you been like this right from the start or is this a new development and do you suspect him of an alleged affair with some one else behind your back , which makes you overly possessive and angry when he sees other women?

I will get back to you once you reply to my queries.

Regards..
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
1) both question are right
2)it's pretty long time
3) yes he get mad about it,the reason I over reacted cause I dislike it.
4) all of the above
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
1) Kindly confirm this -- whenever he watches good looking females on television you tend to over-react and insult him ? is this is the problem -->> yes this a problem to me.Or is it that whenever he sees a good looking femlae on television you tend to feel insulted by him ? is this the case. Kindly confirm which of these two statements is right ?

2) since how long a duration / period of time has this been going on ?it is been a long time ,whenever he's watching then I'm unhappy about it.

3) how is your relationship with your husband otherwise ? It been 16 yrs ,we love each others except whenever he watches then it makes me feel comparison w/ those female .has there been any tension or arguments or diagreements in the recent past ?yes but not all the time.

4) are you excessively possessive of your husband ? Nopeif yes , then have you been like this right from the start or is this a new development and do you suspect him of an alleged affair with some one else behind your back , which makes you overly possessive and angry when he sees other women? He make me think of him is unfaithfully not secure anymore .
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 1 year ago.
Thanks for the inputs..

Well you see it seems like you have developed some core inscurities regarding your husband's fidelity and loyalty towards you and towards his commitment in marriage and he instead of pacifying and comforting you, vents your insecutrities even further by indulging in some activities which further enhance your suspicions.

You see as such mere watching of good looking faces on television by him should not rattle or disgust you so much so as to compel you to over-react and insult him , after all he is only watching television and it is but natural for him being of the opposite sex to at times get interested in just watching women who he finds attracted to , and such harmless watching of television should not be mis-construed by you in thiniking of him being disloyal and infidel towards you.

You see it is NORMAL human nature / instinct of both man or woman to get attracted to the opposite sex and watch them and appreciate the beauty but mere watching does not imply that the partner is being infidel / disloyal towards his reespective partner.

I can understad that you take his watching of television models as a personal insult and get disgusted with his attitude, but i will here like to encourage you to be a bit more flexible with this situation because what he is doing is just gazing at tv models without harborong any infidel intentions.

So basically what i am trying to tell you here is that your otherwise beautiful relationship with your husband is unnecessary being strained due to your excessive jealous behaviour and overpossessivenss , may be you are not realizing right now but by behaving like this you are not at all helping your cause, instead you are pushing your husband away from you which eventually is straining your relationship.

I can understand that you must have tried many a times before to avoid behaving in this particular manner and to be more tolerant towards his watching , but to no avail , so therefore it becomes essential for you and your husband to solve out your core issues such as whether it is your lack of trust in him , his insensitivity at times to your emotional needs , poor communication and understanding between the two of you at tender moments and inability to keep control over your emotions and stop from over-reaction, by consulting a clinical psychologist and getting started on what is called as Couple's therapy.

You see your relationship at the present moment of time is going through a rough patch and if some core issues are not dealt with right now , then who knows your marriage may come to the brink of falling apart, so thereby i request you to persuade your husband to come with you to seek couple's therapy from a clinical psychologist/ therapist so that the expert using his own clinical expertise and experience finds a common ground for both of you to reach and try to reconcille with each other and reach a consensus on what things should be done by each of you , that will not hurt or disgust the other spouse. Also since the therapist will be an unbiased person to mediate talks between the two of you so as to make the ties between the two of you better.

Also the psychologist may use individual counseling on you as well as your husband to make each one of you to learn some coping skills and strategies so as to become more tolerant towards each other thereby benefitting the relationship a great deal.

I hope this helps..

I am positive that if you can persuade your husband to seek couple 's therapy then there is a huge scope for your relationship to get back on track , besides it will help you both to start valuing each other's opinions and emotional needs more than before thereby arousing intimacy within the relationship which has been lacking for quite sometime now.

Wish you all the best.

Please kindly leave a Positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

Regards..
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4022
Experience: MD Psychiatry
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