Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
My name is XXXXX XXXXX I am the Moderator for this topic.Steve Olsen is not available right now, but I have sent him a message to follow up with you here, when he comes back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience!
I am prepping for the Sandy storm...But I did read the sonogram part of your question. You know...you have a lot of bigger people in your family; look at your father. So, I think that there is a good chance you are just going to have a big boy due to the male genetics. And from what I have seen; yes...giving up and saying, if that is what you want (and I get why; really I do) I can't do this, c section me; it won't matter as much about size. You do not have diabetes, and your family has a lot of larger men in it. Boys can be big and they (in most cases) c section you if you act as if you are too worn out and can't do it. Actressing has its place in medicine I think.
Will talk with you as soon as I can. Steven
hi steve. we are waiting to see where sandy goes before we get too crazy over it. im hoping that it will miss us (all of us and got ot sea as they had originally thought it would..)
i think my friendship with jen has imploded. she didnt tlak at all to me at mommy and me. i basically talked with this other mom gina. the group was small- we had 5 moms not show up for soem reson.
so.. ok. im playing with kate nd she soemhow didnt get assaulted as usual. prob b/c i pulled kate out of seamus way when he started kicking and screaming.
anyway were leaving and she asked other moms what they were doing and no one wanted to do anything. she asked me about it and i was like ok. she didnt wnat to go to mc donalds b/c she had soemthing else tonight that was burgers. so it seemed awkward and i as like ok whatever.. then cassie wet her pants (i felt like saying if ou ever change her she wouldnt leak...kate hardly ever leaks.)
so she asked me if i had extra pants she could borrow. i said no.. but i did. i had a whole brand new outfit that had the tags on it - but i was trying to get out of going with them anywhere. i shouldve just left when the getting got good. jens like i can go to marshalls and buy her pants.. and i can just take her in her diaper to pizza place but the playground she needs clothes. i was going to say she needs clothes no matter where we are.
i feel like jen tries to make all her problems mine and i said to her you know why dont we do it a diff day? no no.. then she said well if u really want to go. i said its not that - your kid doent have pants, shes telling me shes on antibiotics for some upper resp thing that she cnat get rid of and feels tired. so i said so why dont you go home and take a nap?
no go she wanted to go to a playground. so we did and cassie went in wet pants. they were playing n our conversation was stilted...
she said lets get pizza and go to a diff playground with picnic tables. i said ok. we did and when we got there she ambushed me that i was such a bitch to her at the mommy n me gone wild nite. i did bust her chops about the kid being like a bird but she was laughing n i did say she a germophobe (after shes embarassed me so many tmes that i even want to look at the kid and shes asked well did u wash ur hands?! like why doesnt he asked me if i was treated for my pid?)
so she told me that it was like a roast blah blah blah. so i said jen if i wanted to roast you.. youd be bleeding. i mainly hung with colleen and we did the tasting together n then we were too hot and standing outside. if colleen wasnt there id prob have no one to hang with... cuz jen was all over being like whatever. like she was a hot shot.
so jen told me it was her event and she was meeting new moms etc.
and i was like.. im not cow towing to her. she went on to say that shes well respected with these moms and shes an organizer and it was her event.
i didnt apologize. i told her i was with colleen and i did say she was a germophobe that was about all i said. we kept getting off subject due to children issues of no ones eating n you cant play until you eat. jen kept bringing it back to this issue. i never did apologize.
she said it must be my hormones. i said im not hormonal. cuz honestly not steve.
i worked in that i dont bring up everything that pisses me off with her and her kids.. like when her kid took mine inot traffic and almost got her killed and she didnt say shit about it. she said she yelled ta him in the car and i said jen i dont even care. you didnt get up, i ran and practically jumped a metal fence 6 months preg and shes busy on facebook. and then you didnt say sorry to me or anything.
she told me soem crap about this girl nancy (seamus mother..) and how everyone like sher shes nice blah blah. i said ok.. so? she has the personality of a wet mop and her kid beats the crap out of mine every class and thats all ok. i felt like she was saying the other moms didnt like me.. i mean no one seems to avoid me or kate.. and usually theres a good time had by all- at leats i thought. kate takes most of the beatings in the class.. i ay this honestly. i think i couldve gone crazy over that long ago.
she also shpwed me pics on facebook of dr a and rose. hugging each other and cuddling. i said uh well, the physicians group he works for is an outside agency - not the hosp- and i think if they see it. hes toast. as for rose, shes already in teh shitter and frankly shes lucky im not representing her. the union told her keep her nose clean. and that means dont be late, dont call out. dont make a mistake. and dont f**k the drs. jen says its her personal life and i say theres a hosp policy of not f**king each other. she just got away with 5 instances of narcs missing. i wud not give them anything to jump on.
we parted. i had a few min to think and i realized tht jen had said that another mom said i was roasting her. now we left the get together and spoke in the parking lot and she was fine. so was it that another mom said oh crap its like liz was roasting you? and then she jumped on the whole i was wronged bus? why all of a sudden?
so i texted her and said that. and why is another mom trying to start soemthing between me and jen? see i dotn like sneaky crap.
so she tells me shell never tell me who said it. i said that s fine. i dont really like the thought of all this. this is more involved than i want to be steve.
she then says that she felt stressed out and she told the other mom she was upset about what happened. and the other mom said it was like a roast. (see? i knew jen didnt think that up herself. shes not quick enough) so i said oh i see, you talked about me to another mom. so its jen. botXXXXX XXXXXne. shes the problem. i have a feeling its one of the core group - we have like 5 moms tht go to mommy and me all the time. i like them all enough. no one seems malicious, but obviously im wrong. colleen on the other hand, i told her what happened. she told me see? this is why she has no friends. she doenst want to be involved in bullshit like this and that i shouldve ended all this nonsense at the last incident of mcdonalds and kate almost being killed. i told her that kate likes her teacher. she said so? just bring her soemwhere new. she agreed that we were barely wiht jen and we hung out and other than the germophobe thing nothing really was said and whats she talking about? i said when we went to dinner we were talking of disney and other stuff. we werent there long as the place was closing..
jen kept texting without me answering anymore. she said i was a beast and she had never seen me so bad the way i was that night. the next text was that it must be hormones and shes just chalking it up to that. that she wanted to throw a jar of pumpkin butter at me..
would it have been better if she never said anything and was just upset at me? she said if i was there i wouldve said wtf is up with this bitch.. ( not true. id either defend her.. or id be like cna i be friends with her?) she tried calling me but i didnt answer. she told me its water under the bridge.
then she said relax no one talking about you. they know were good friends and just thought it was a roast.
that was the last text.
Rough to say but: Some people are just not worth the time and effort to maintain an ongoing relationships.
Friends are sometimes like cars. If they cost more to maintain than they are worth, and there is not a huge history which would allow the friendship the luxury of going through bad times and tolerance, it is time for that relationship to end or to be scaled back.
Jen is immature and has many, many personal issues that are unresolved and a part of her past. She is needy and dependent and passive aggressive. She is very easily hurt, and I do not see that aspect of her changing. But at the same time she is oblivious to any hurt that she gives out and will minimize and not tolerate even teasing and joking.
She finds it too hard to face her own vulnerabilities and is not able to realistically have a relationship that is give and take. If you wish to have a relationship with her it is not going to be traditional one. It will be more like you being an older sister and she being a mess of a younger sister and having blame and immaturity as a constant companion to your relationship. It is not a supportive friendship.
I cannot see her becoming aware of her issues. I cannot see her easily letting go of what she feels is a slight to her character. What you saw as a (not your words) roast she sees as an assassination. She sees you as an intentional actor in all of this and not a person who was teasing So, to minimize it all she calls it pregnancy hormones. That is a way for her to discount what she is seeing, but it also makes you look like you are out of control.
I really feel that you are just not a compatible team. There is too much potential for ongoing issues. Plus I am not sure if Kate could survive the interaction as every time you are around Jen there seems to be an issue of bullying or physical harm. I do not hear you say this about anyone else, so I have to conclude that Jen is the common denominator here and is a source of much splitting and pain. I do not think it is totally intentional on her part, but I also do not see her developing a great deal of insight and resolving these things. So, that is why I feel that keeping your distance may in fact be the best thing.
Are you feeling any better about the baby? I really don't see issues with having a c section if you are worn out and too tired. And, I know that sonogram weight accuracy is not the best. What you say during labor is going to play a big part of how they treat you and I know you can be very assertive about these types of issues...Plus, you can have Rob support you in this and a united front is very helpful during those stressful times.
Your mother is going to be relentless about the name because she feels out of control when you have it...and it is rough on you as she will turn up the pressure. But at the same time this is an excellent chance to push your own agenda which is this is my family and I will let you know what I want you to. And all the other stuff about furniture and metal spikes hammering across your floor...that is family...sadly. (But your desertarian comment killed me; it was funny as heck.)
My concern is that you are being too hard on yourself. Ok, so you are a realist and do not see everything as flowers and perfumed water...And, you are a good nurse and mother who would kill to protect your family and would stick up for a patient who was on the bad end of some doctor's bad choices. And, if people see you as not as worthy for that, that is on them. The truth is that you are a great mom, nurse and person and that you really care about people. That is key and that is what you might focus on, that what they say is not able to touch your self worth and that their attitudes about suits and country clubs and all, are just that...attitudes brought about by their own emotional damage. You know, sometimes it is the other person's stuff just trying to be wedged into you own because of their issues. Sometimes it is hard to live with all that....but know that this is not you. It's them. Steven
jen sent me another text that i didnt answer. that says if u werent mean that night then nobody wouldve said boo. so dont turn the tables on me. you were mean period.
i didnt answer, but to me its like she asked and they agreed. not like they ere like omg.
but heres the prob. so do i just drop from the moms group?
put kate in a preschool 2 days a week? or try to find a new mommy n me class?
kate asks for cassie. i dont know how to deal with that. and how do i handle kate saying goodbye to the teacher?
we havw a class in 2 weeks. after that i could skip it due to the baby, n work something out for kate closer to home.
i could also see if i could get her in a thursday class with the same teacher .. i just dont know what to do.
ill have to write more later as we have a party to go to. ttyl
I think if you drop the group and act as if you are done with all of them (at least right now) that it might be very difficult for you to explain to them, and it makes you look a bit reactionary.
Instead you can try to develop other relationships within that group and let your feet do the walking as far as when Jen wants to talk with you. She might think you are harboring a grudge, but she will think that anyway no matter how you react. She is not healthy and the less you have to deal with her the better. And you should not have to change anything more than your interaction with her. As far as McDonald's with her (alone) or anything else, I would recommend that stops. I do not see how you can maintain a steady/healthy relationship with her at this point.
Kate should be allowed, within the limits of that, contact with Cassie. that does make it more complex, but I think you can redirect Kate as you need to so that she is not exposed as much to Cassie... Later, after the baby, it makes total sense to completely change the mommy and me class to something else and make it closer to home, rearrange it or make an excuse to get rid of this crew. That looks much more legitimate as you will be busy and overwhelmed and that is a great "out" for things like this. Steven
hi steve. we are trying to prep for this, but well... i dont know if well be able to prep to be without power for 2 weeks. we got a standard call from our power company and theyre saying 2 weeks. there really isnt enough time for rob to install the generator, and im going to be here along for days as were splitting up.
were hoping queens will have power and with the weather being dangerous.. my mother agreed to keep them mon night. they have my extra bedroom and bed for him and kate to sleep on. rob has been on emergency alert all weekend and was told he could be called in at anytime. (not a good week to start working for a utility i guess)
well now my dad called n said they should come tonight, and then hell drive rob to work n then drive himself to his job.
poor rob. hes captain son in law now.
anyway i dont know if i should try to stay with someone closer to the hosp for monday to get back mon night? or just go home n if i cant get back say screw it....? i mean ill be out here days alone with no one to help me since rob will be in the city with kate. cant ask him to leave or get me so... i am def on my own within my own limitations..
i feel like im 9 months preg and im running around day after day and franklyi cant even take it. its already hard for me to justy reg stuff. like everyday functioning..
anyway steve stay safe. ill catch you on the flip side of this thing. i hope its not 2 weeks from now.
hi steve. how r u? i apologize but due to no power and our nes just being on us.. i dotn know what happened by you. if u got hit, ot it missed u completely. anyway i hope ur ok.
lots of stuff going on here. were still without power.. and well it sucks.
and now today they said were going to have a noreaster coming on wednesday. it feels like this will never end honestly.
i only have power b/c we came and checked inot a hotel.
were doing laundry and plugging in essentially.
rob got his his first con ed check and well. its good. so good i told kate go kiss your father.
me on the other hand i had my share of problems. sunday night i worked as usual and stayed monday during the day at work b/c i was afraid i wouldnt be able to get back to work due to the storm.
so i stayed. i had first tried to stay with colleen and she hemmed and hawwed. i texted her in the am and said can i come by? she texted back that she had left her apt to stay at her boyfriends. i had my doubts.. i felt like she had lied and i felt hurt. (ok maybe its hormones? i could pretend that she was telling the truth..) ok so meanwhile overnight dr a had aid do you have soemwhere safe to stay? ur 9 months preg blah blah blah. i said im ok.. dr b ws there and dr a said dr bs staying at the hotel down the road and the co they work for will be paying for it... dr b chimes in and says... yeah u could bunk with me. i didnt really ans.. i felt odd being 9 months preg bunking with.. a man. i did pack pjs and stuff.. but. well. i dotn know.
i later texted him and said since i had all wheel drive we could take my car. he didnt ans. the nite was still busy and we were mandated to stay due to the storm. i looked around and didnt see dr b. i saw terri and said can i go home with u ? she said im mandated to stay and will be one of the last released since im not working tonight whereas like me.. im back that nite so well be the 1st to be released. i said ok. i felt like at this point i was begging and felt stupid.. terri said that dr b had said he was going to take care of me and she asked what happened ? i said i dont see him and what r u talking about? she said oh she said they were talking about it and dr b said no she shud stya with me and it wont cost anything etc. i said to her like he shudnt say anything about that b/c i dont care about her knowing but they dont know that and i dotn want word to get around. she said well no1 wud think anything improper was going due to my advanced preg and i said i dotn care i dotn want questions asked or answered. she said she was shocked he left without a word to me. i said well i hadnt really decided to go, so thats prob why.
i called rob and he said to stay for my own safety he felt better about it. it sucked i cudnt get out of the hosp but i shud just stay. so i did.
i got a text from dr b asking if i made it to the hotel ok? i didnt ans.
i cudnt sleep on the cot provided and was having bad back pain between short spells of sleep.
i got up at 2pm n felt like.. possibly my water broke. i wasnt sure so i used litmus paper to test and it came bck positive. the other nice nurse jen was like lets go prego. to the trauma room. i was brought in and peter my boss came and was like its ok dont be nervous. i was feeling i was tearing up b/c this was exactly what i didnt want to happen. i didnt want drs at work to see me naked and i didnt have the option to go to my dr. or the hosp i had all my other deliveries.
jen d (well call her that to avoid confusion..) said look, yu cant take a chance with this hurricane coming. they called a code ob and the ob on call came. he checked me and agreed m y water had broke. they called for me to transferred to the level 1 trauma up north on long island. i ccalled rob and i told him if its bad dotn come. i may not have the baby til the next day... rob came he had kate with him. i went in the ambulance and it was terrifying. the ambulance was being pushed and i kept feeling like the ambulance was going to lose control. i got the level 1 hosp as did rob (40 miles from our house..) and they wouldnt let him with kate. which if i had known i wouldve told him stay home. now he was stuck there not to see the delivery and with kate all out of sorts. the nurse had left and i started crying and the attending dr came in. i told her i was nurse at the other hosp and what happened. and she got them brought in. they checkeed me out and decided no. my water hadnt broken and i was being d/cd . inot the height of the storm. we were trying to get to the car and i was holding on to kate for dear life. we got in the car and i said were not driving in this lets go to a hotel. kate was terrified and kept saying baby scared as we drove. we finally found a hotel. we stayed the night and the next day i called peter and told him... uh i didnt have the baby. he said what happened? i said they said my water didnt break. dr at our hosp said it idid...
so i said i cna come in tonight. he sai dont worry about it. stay home put ur feet up and eat chinese food. he said ill put u in for vac time so ull have a full check. he was very nice about it and i was well... shocked.
meanwhile apparently my whole family and robs was having a stroke that rob had to drive all the way out to me and the weather and kate etc. i told them to stay put and well call. i did call to tell them woops sorry. my parents seemed to take it better than my mil. i mean i didnt tell rob to come til i had an ob tell me my water broke, b/c honestly i wasnt sure.
anyway we went home and we hit our town.. i knew it wasnt going to be good when i got to our house. i sped up (rob was following) and i got to our house and our tree came down. it ddint hit the house and im grateful for that honestly. but sad that were the ones who had this 50 yr old tree come down. after all the families that lived in this house and now look. the trunk of the tree stayed up the branches which are huge and it crumbled. i called manny who came by 8am the next am.
hes to take the tree down for us. the town will clear the branches we have down in the street and he said the trunk is stable so it can wait. its going to be 1500. which i thought is fair as hes going to pull out all the roots. which are huge and grind the stump.
meanwhile my dads been at work without leaving since monday. the co has cancelled all days off for him (and other union workers..) and theyre working 14 hr shift. hes been sleeping in his truck. i said daddy it sounds like you shud retire. he laughed and said ah ive been thru worse shit
my dads boss vinny said steve(my dads n ame..) were putting you with another guy. the guys normally work alone. unless they call for help. so my dad says no thats ok. so vinny says where do u want to go? he says leave me in harlem like usual. he says u need a partner. my dad says for what? i work alone everyday. then he says look i need tuesday off. my granddaughters coming over. vinny says we cancelled all days off. so my dad says well then i need sat off i have a wedding. vinny says i cancelled all days off. so my dad says well i need thanksgiving and fri after off. so vinny says ill prob be working thanksgiving and the fri after. my dad says ok, youre junior to me and u need to impress ur bosses. youll be fine without me. i said daddy youre going to give this guy a heart attack.
he said well hes management i dotn care..
he told me hes glad hes not downtown as theyre pumping water and wlking up 30 story buildings and theyre calling on the radio.. hey bill you ok? and bills wheezing and coughing on the 18th floor. ..
hopefully bill has a defibrillator with him...
anyway the queens thats on fire/ flooded and demolished isnt our part of queens and both our moms have power. trees came down but theyre pretty much going thru. there is a gas shortage there though.. we have no power, no hot water, no gas, no food...
and no milk.
if kates ask me again why she cant watch tv i may flip out. as soon as she saw the hotel tv she said no power? and i said yes we have power and she started doing a dance shaking her arms and her butt saying yeah yeah yeah yeah. it was pretty funny.
ive been taking ice showers and well its all too much really.
i went to the ob today with kate prior to the hotel and he said b/c the babys so big i have to see the hi risk again and go for a 3hr glucose tolerance. i said kate was 9lb 4oz. he said well thats reassuring but u still nee to check your glucose level you may be diabetic. i said well im due in 22 days i mean, steve wtf is the diff now? i said im working full time and have to see u 3 times plus the hi risk on and do this glucose test. he said ill give u anote for work. i said im not missing work. i mean steve im in a literal state of emergency. i dotn have food, hot water, electricity but im going for this test? i mena ill have the baby before it. he said oh itll change how we deliver u. i said well u already told me ur not doing anything to induce me or whatever, so whatever. he took kate by the han d meanwhile and took her out for stickers. i got outside he wasnt there and kate was with one of his nurses. so i took kate and left.
im so frustrated steve, its like im 9 months preg and i cant stop running and im just pissed. like why dont they dump more crap on me? i barely sleep anymore. i havent slept. my house is wreck. im busy throwing out my whole fridge...
i dont know. maybe its all the events combined are making me kind of bitchy.
like were in queens and i swear everything sucks more in queens. like im at the marriot at laguardia. well the room is smaller/ dirtier than the one we stayed at all the wya out the island. and the fun of listening to planes take off every 7 min. yes its every 7. i timed it. not 6 not 8 . 7 minutes. and the a/c doesnt work.
and the windows dont open.
and sat is my birthday. and im kind of depressed about that. and shocker i havent gotten my new renewed license even though i paid for it 3 weeks ago. i plan on driving slow wearing my seatbelt and feigning stupidity. well i paid it 3 weeks ago. it must be b/c of the disaster. cuz i shud have it. im sure the dmv wasnt in most of this week.
anyway, hopefully well have power in a week or so. i dotn know when ill be able to access this again other than tomorrow am since well still be at the hotel til 12 noon.
Glad to see that you are, while not doing well, are surviving this mess of a situation. Here we had some flooding and power outages but nothing like what you are going through. I saw the images of Queens on the news and wondered about your family; I didn't think they lived in that section, but still.
I wondered if I would hear from you for several week and I am grateful that God protected you in all that mess and chaos. (it's okay if you think different) lol
I was reading your post holding my breath when you talked about your water breaking. I was thinking...did she have the baby? Why wouldn't she say so immediately in the post? Now I know. First you get rejected by people apparently not willing to help house you, in an emergency no less, then dr b wants you to bunk with him. (I know he was just trying to mean well, but it was a funny moment and I will bet uncomfortable for you, if maybe just a bit weird.)
You know liz; you just do not do anything ordinary I will say. It looks like you are well on your way to having a baby and then you find out that your not...and then get dumped into the storm afterward with your family...Wow. You should write a book. Maybe I will write it and split the profits 50/50...You know I am just teasing right?
Anyway. I was saddened to hear about your tree. One that old adds something to a home and when it falls there is a certain something that is lost in history. But I am glad the tree fell away from your home. I would not want to see what that tree could have done to your home. One that large could have split the home literally in two.
And talk about fast...your gardener is really on the ball. Almost same day service. I am impressed. I am even impressed that Peter was willing to give you a stay home liz you had it rough moment. Where is the real Peter and what have you done with him moment for sure.
I am sorry that you are going through so much right now. You are tired and this stuff just adds to it. The OB and the high risk test...well, maybe it will get you that C section after all. But feeling overwhelmed and wondering why? Holy crap Liz you are standing on the brink of hell and are almost having a baby in the midst of the largest storm in a gazillion years; and you have no electricity and are stuck in a hospital and your food all went bad and there is a tree down and you wonder why you feel stressed
My wife had to do that ridiculously long glucose test for Jack. I remember the gross orange stuff. Dang,you have it rough sometimes.
On a lighter note: Your father is hysterically funny. You must get your humor from him. I loved the story about Vinny.
Oh, and happy birthday Liz! Sorry about the airplanes at LGA. LGA sucks too. ONe of my least favorite airports and you get to be right next to it. But at least you have electricity. That is worth a lot! And poor Kate can watch tv.
I am sure the license renewal is just slow because of the storm stuff. Like you said, just drive slow and look, casual. :)
I will be here to talk when you need me. I have been at home with pneumonia these last few days. (I am prone to the aspirational stuff if I forget my GERD meds...and I often do.) Oh well, another course of Avalox.
Take care Liz. Stay safe. Steven
we are in the midst of the next storm. i am still w/o power. lipa our power co is on the radio patting themselves on the back saying how in 10 days they got 85% of long island up. which i think is not any great feat btw. meanwhile con ed had every1 up but westchester in less than 5 days and they pumped all the water out of manholes.
anyway. im worried now the tree will hit the house. half has been cut off but its imbalanced towards the house. manny said if it made it thru the last storm itll be ok. today im not so sure.
i did tell manny i d like it down before christmas as the tree looks disastorous.
i plan to replace with a tree in the back yard for us to have shade there and to plant flowers bushes on the corner of the property and have stone or brick placed..
you should come and visit us.
anyway i worked my 3 days with dr b pretty much not being involved with me. dr a didnt say much but i was out in triage all 3 nights.
i found out from terri that dr a asked out nurse rose 6 times... and he went to the head of the er drs to tell him to make sure it was ok.
i still dont see that protecting rose but again what does the old hag know?
terri had told me in a separate time that dr a was uh well endowed and i had said i doubted that. rose actually told me she thinks yu can tell by a guy having a round butt... i said yeah i guess so...
and terri stuck up for them saying theyre so happy etc. i said well thats good, and held my tongue any further cuz ill be the bitch then. terris son was sick and she had no gas in her car and dr a offered to drive her to the hosp. terri n rose are good friends and honestly i think its all a fake sucking up...
like hes gotta be nice to me cuz im 9 months preg.
i went to the ob and waited a while - he said did you go for the glucose tolerance? i said no i just worked a full work week since i saw u 5 days ago. he said well u have to have it done. i said nah thats ok. so he said u have to see the hi risk ob. so i aid ok ill see u in 2 weeks then. he said no u see me next week too. i said 2 of you dont need to see me. what a waste of time.
he said liz trust me. i said it doesnt matter cuz youre not going to be at my delivery. i then told him about his partners and their craziness that i dealt with. and how unimpressed ive been.
i told him when i go to the hi risk im going to try to talk him into helping me.
he said he wont induce me b/c itll lead to a c section. i said if the baby 10 and half pounds itll be a c section. and im not pushing. i said cant u deliver one of my kids? he said if u have enough of them i will. i told him im not having 10 kids to try to have u deliver me. he said why arent u irish? they have alot of kids. i said no im not and i dont think ill be having anymore.
somewhere in all this he said i shudnt work anymore so i can go to all these appts and i said id rather make the money and not lose my job. he said im dedicated and i said no i only have so much time off.
he said i get grumpy at the end. and i said im not exactly grumpy. its 12 noon i drove in a hail storm to get here and i just worked 3 nites in a row.
i told him hes more grumpy than me and coddled.
so this didnt go well. his pa names honey tried to be sympathetic and i said look im tired of everyday sucking. i mean im not a fairy princess and im not a diabetic. i drink soda while im waiting for the glucose blood draw on top of the glucose load. and im still not diabetic.
she told me the next one will be easier and i said not if its pound bigger. and its not 7 and half to 8 and half pounds.
i left and then i started to cry.
i called rob whom i had already fought with - earlier he sent me a text - saying i shud go to his moms house today due to the storm n still no power. and get him this whole list of crap. i said ill put his crap together n drop it off. ill go home n watch the house (worried about the tree coming down..) rob said hell go home n ill stay here he doesnt want me home alone. i said whats the difference? ive been alone since sunday. i mean ive been frozen taking ice cold showers n no food.
so he says well thats y u shud go. i said it doesnt matter now. ill get a hotel room for fri night again.
i mean steve lets not pretend im a princess now. really i can see thru the bullshit. so rob said to just do what hes saying and i said i dont give a shit what hes saying. ill drop his crap n leave. id take kate if we had power.
my dad intepreted it as rob being worried about me and i said pls the bullshit is unreal.... you cant say that now.
as far as dr b with staying together i wudnt have been shocked if he did stay at a hotel n just said he went home. and everyone knowing about us.. well not good. not not good.
You are really going through it....and you still do not have power. (?) That is horrible and you have been that way for a while now.How many days is this? I'll bet living early 1880's style is not a good thing in your mind. How could any of this be anything but torture at this point?
The power company that you have doesn't sound half as good as ConEd. At least Rob is with the winning team on this one.
Here is sticking with your thoughts that the tree does not fall. I kind of doubt it will if a lot of the upper stuff is gone and it's mostly a trunk. but still; seeing it there, tilted, cannot be reassuring.
I think I will hold off on the visit until after the baby comes. That way I can see all of you at one time. And, I might not be killed by a weather event. (It has really been something for NY these past years hasn't it?)
Dr a asked Rose out 6 times. Did she go out six times or was that just the number of times asking? I think if Rose does agree to be with him that she is in for a shock. He is not the person he appears, and still, and I know you think perhaps differently. She too must have some traits that are not so stellar. Either that or she truly is oblivious and that means she is going to get hurt.
Your ob sounds like he is not living in reality. All they are doing to you now is covering their tails. The glucose test? Let's be real here. If you end up getting the test what are the odds that it will show something...not much. And all this go here go there nonsense serves little purpose for you. You're not being unrealistic. This running around stuff is a colossal pain in the butt and anyone would feel cranky as a result.
I am sorry you are going through all of this Liz. Being pregnant and dealing with the job issues are bad enough, but having the doctors, Rob, the whole family on your case is not helping. It seems that the more you go through and need support the more those around you fall apart. You have enough on your plate already and the power being out and the cold showers and lack of descent and predictable anything has to suck.
Sorry I can't actually help in the "real" world. But know that I am here and will try to support you as much as I can from this "distance".
(BTW: Has anyone talked about fling a claim on the house insurance for all the costs incurred with hotels and lost food and all? I was just thinking that might be a financial help. You certainly have had a huge amount of extra costs with all of this.)
were still at my mils. i havent gone to see the house. so i dont know if the tree hit the house. we called neighbors who ended up staying at their familys houses due to the fact it was 47 degrees inside the house. i said yeah ours was 51 when i left. granted im a cold bitch cuz if its just us at home i keep the thermostat at 62. and when it was just me id literally wudnt have the heat on.
id put it on 30 min before rob got there. he didnt know id be home all day w/o it to save money as ive always done the finances.
anyway as my dad would say i only work for con ed i dont f**king own it. put on a sweater. im sure uve heard the same growing up. with less cursing of course.
the tree is not just a trunk half on one side of the tree is missing. the trunk is all there but the side of the tree thats there is closer to the house. and now i feel its off kilter. we got snow now and frankly im worried it will snap from snow and stinking leaves on it. yest i left the house in ahail storm . just wondering like my god. is the house going to make it thru this? its stood for 60 yrs and were gonna be the family that ends up with it demolished?
people had their garages (all extensions b/c the original houses didnt have them..) fall onto the houses. like completely topple to the side
trees (which are big due to the age of the neighborhood) we saw house after house with a tree on the house. some with a tree leaning no damage. to holes in houses. the storm didnt seem to be as high wind here but it cudve been at my house as were 20 miles away.
rob said he didnt want me to go home or go to the house by myself since its wet and slushy and i could fall. he said hell go tonight to check on the house. ive been trying to distract myself and not think about it. although when he leaves to go itll be on baited breath til i hear back im sure. i told him to take the all wheel drive to go.
anyway dr a asked rose out 6 times prior to accepting and now they are an item. i dont know for how long but def a couple of months.
i think hes putting on the whole fake nice guy thing. and then its like he cant keep it up or whatever and itll come out. it may be in 4 months or 4 years but its there. even a guy smitten with u shows his true colors. cuz theyre not smitten forever.
shes totally one of those naive chicks. like all sweetness and light and then there me... and jen.. and others who are like yeah... the polish is off us. were scrubbed bare. sleep deprived and exhausted, tired of everyones shit.
i said the other day that this er is like an abusive boyfriend. we just keep coming back.
well thats what we keep you around for steve, i jus dont know. i like being a nurse. i dont know if the stress is worth it. i think alot of us are stuck as what are we going to do other than exotic dancers that makes the same.. and most of us dont have the figure for it anymore. thats for sure.
btw dr a has another job lined up at another hosp apparently as per terri so he wont be here forever she says... i almost said well thats nice he got dr b to stay and now hes ditching him. and i actually said that. that dr a would ditch him in a minute if it was to advance or whatever. i feel badly about that. fro dr b. not for me. itd be nice to come back to a different dr. hopefully not an asshole but.. well we ll see
i am excited that this week coming up is my last week. i had the thought of going in sun and mon of thanksgiving week to get a couple days pay. it wudn t hurt and it would extend my leave. but i have ahard time putting on my socks and shoes now. and i feel a little like sigh. its hard to take a deep breath.
i feel like i will go to the end with this one and well steve its like god cant it save me a week and come a week early? its not alot. but its 7 less days of this crap. ill never forget all this the weather and stuff went thru ... i can say i was 9 months preg and had a 2 yr old and was without power and heat and hot water and no milk and etc...
and then ill sound like my parents.. and then there will be the sound of a single gunshot.
my mil has her day care biz going here and frankly i dont knwo how she does this day after day. she has 2 sets of twin. one 18 months, one 2 and soemthing. kate , a 1 1/2 yr old (who screams non stop.) thats the am. and in the afternoon picks up 4 boys all schoolaged like 5- 12 and 2 7 yr old girls.
its so busy and crowded in this little apt. i cant believe it. the pack and play i finally saw it.. its beat to hell. dirty like you cant believe. ill buy anew one and the high chair we bought them has held up better than that pack and play. she uses the hi chair for all of them too. its all day rotating them in and out who gets fed and then next!! wiped off and next kid in. she has the twin 18 month old boys in separate pack and play cuz they fight (yeah theyre red heads...) and well im helping her an i m like holy crap. really i feel like thnak god for birth control. or bulls to kick guys in the groin. whatever.
we had 3 kids poop at the same time and i was like a public toilet doesnt smell this bad. i told my mil to check my fil diaper too.
she just laughed. i wasnt kidding.
meanwhile kates on mommy duty bringing pacifiers and removing shoes and socks and telling the boys its ok, its ok no cry...
as far as my ob. im not going for the glucose test. ill go for the hi risk ob. and his reg appt. just to keep dr cranky happy.
and btw calling me cranky isnt winning him any popularity contests. im preg with big babies and go full term and work til the end. and when u cant breathe and feel like an animal and are in pain and cant sleep. and im holding on by athread. well hed be cranky too.
and again im not having 10 kids to have him deliver one. he can see me at my paps from now on jerk.
the house ins has a 1k deductible. and if the house is liveable wont cover us. its only damaged and unliveable theyll cover us to live in a rental or whatever. im sure theyre not going to cover that lipa is abunch of jerks and cant get the power back up and running
the governor said hes going to pull their license or soemthing and whatnot. i dont know much of anything as i cant stand listening to the radio and the speeches and grandstanding when im sitting freezing without food.
just dont have the tolerance.
btw. where the hell has tmm been? no texts in months. i mean does this mean he doesnt wnat me anymore? thats pissing me off really. i thought for sure hed text from the big storm...
he lives on higher ground than me so hes not flooded as im not..
and im kinda mad that dr b isnt too interested in me anymore. its almost like... ok have the baby and let me know when u lost 40lbs.
ill make sure i have my push up bra for that day.
oh and colleen my buddy who worked in the city had her baby 9 weeks early last week. right after the storm. hes in the nicu. hes breathing on his own luckily and was 5lbs. if that kid went full term im telling you itd be 12 lbs. its crazy. she said she had soem back pain for a few days and couldnt take it.
she went to the ob thinking she had a kidney infection and she gave him urine. he checked her cervix and she was 8cm dilated and he said youll have the baby within 2 hrs. she started pushing and she did 90 min later have her son. conner. luckily her boyfriend made it 10 min before. she said she felt guilty she didnt go to the dr sooner, but i told her i def wouldnt either and i prob have the baby in my house b/c i wudve never gone. not for back pain for sure. they dont stop ur labor if ur 6cm or more btw. when he did the exam her water broke on his hand (i said oh god ew. hope he had his raincoat on..)
i told her it was meant to be she and the child lived. she said it was the most panful thing in her life and i laughed and said mine was 2x the size. kiss my ass.
god steve im getting nervous about this whole delivery thing. i was worried and i keep trying to put it out of my head that soemhow ill be ok... but i dont know.
like ok it was juts a really really bad day when i had kate. the pain was unbareable. i mean not that ii regret it, but the thought of it is too much for me anymore.
and to be preg again... god i dont know.
Your life sounds so...difficult right now.
Your house is cold. You have (still?) no electricity and a tree is teetering on the brink of falling down/into your house. That description you gave of what it looks like: Now I see what you mean. That tree is more shattered than simply broken. Wow...This and all the stress and craziness of work and being a mom and being pregnant. That is just way too much stuff!
Rose seems like a lamb to the slaughter. I feel sorry for her. Maybe she should have listened to her own refusals the five times before #6. (He asked her out six times? That sounds a bit desperate to me.)
Your ER comment was funny. It is just like an abusive relationship. You go; swear you will never go back; make other plans and then find yourself right back there. It must do something for you Liz. And, don't tell me at one time you wanted to be an exotic dancer but chose nursing instead. lol
With dr a leaving, if he leaves, it is like the devil you know. I understand you would not feel badly to see him go, but then who on earth will be his replacement that is a bigger issue as you don't want someone worse. At least dr a is somewhat controllable.
You're lucky I know you with that comment you made about the gunshot. But, I do get you. There is no way you are ever going to forget the things that happened around this baby! Your entire world went crazy, and still is.
That all (the daycare) takes place in a small apartment? Oh my gosh. There is no peace there and it sounds totally insane. I can't believe she deals with that day in and day out. That is certainly a poster for birth control or forced sterilization or something. Wow! Kate takes it in stride as surrogate mommy figure, but three simultaneous poops...oh, well, too gross. I get what you mean about the smell, and kids smell worse than adults I think.
I don't think your ob was very decent in how he handled the comment about you being cranky. He obviously has never been pregnant and how would he know what it might feel like? I know lots of women who were exceedingly cranky all through pregnancy and not just at the end. I thought compassion was a required thing for doctors, or at least a good faking of compassion.
That does suck, about the insurance. I almost want to send you my company Amica. But then again, there are so many stuck in a position like your are right now I wonder of there is much that can be done...I would have thought that with all the preparation time these utilities had that something could have been done better. ConEd seems to have gotten it together and got people back on the grid and I saw the explosions at the power stations...yet they seem much better off than the company you have.
TMM. We haven't mentioned him in a while. That is a good question. You would have though these disaster events would have brought him running to you. Less stuff has in the past. And, I am sure dr b wants you...he is just one of those emotionally moody males. He'll come around.
Colleen had a rough time of it, but a baby that big at 9 weeks early. That is almost the weight of a normal smaller child at full term. But still; she had that baby fast.
It is normal to feel anxiety about the delivery. You will not feel it until then, but you will have the grace to go through the situation when it arrives. The fear of what may occur is with you right now but try to stay in the moment. You cannot control this delivery, but one thing for certain it will not be anything like Kate. Each delivery is different and I doubt very much that this one will be as difficult. You cannot base the future on what was...and this time you are more prepared and know more of what to do. Plus you are not shy and will ask for help, including the c section request of "too tired to push anymore". Steven
hi steve. well we just got power back. can u believe it?
and across the street is still down.
we left my in laws yest and came home to a freezing house. it was 46 degrees. and we had the fireplace going. i guess the firewood and or smoke bothers me and im all stuffed up and my throat is raw. i argued with rob til i was crying. i told him i cant take all this shit anymore, and he told me there was nothing wrong with the fire n i said you think breathing in all this is good for us and kate? i mean really.
at 2pm still w/o power my mil called and told us we could come back and i said to rob im tempted to go back...
he said fine and we were getting ready to go . about an hr later and were loading the car and the power came back on. we called his mother who was out buying stuff at the styore for us milk etc. i felt really guilty telling her h were not coming and that she went out to the store. i apologized and said we were going to stay here...
i wondered if we should go anyway but rob was like no..
some funny and awkward moments of the last week..
i went to babies r us to buy this kid who apparently is coming some stuff b/c i havent bought anything. my mil wanted to go but had kids coming after school so we had to go early to get back to queens for her to pick them up.
my bil (the pussy my god already..) decides he needs to go too. why? he always does this shit. i dont want to drag him too. so im driving and since im approaching from queens i wasnt sure of a turn. i said joan is this the turn? she says no. bil says yes they start arguing like really arguing.. and i make the turn anyway ... and as theyre arguing i see a hilton and i say out loud oh wow i didnt know there was a hotel right here... (like we could stay here lol..) and they shut up...
im sitting at the dining room table at the in laws and my fil says wow its a good thing these storm things dont happen often. otherwise youd be here more often.
my mil yells at him and i said oh i agree.
after the 2nd storm and there was more on the news about lipa and the govenor and rob and i are like cant believe still no power... and my bil comes running into the living room and says in front of everyone.. on channel 2 theyre saying most of long island will have power after thanksgiving. i looked at rob and said oh my god im going kill myself.. and my mil says
well u can stay here...
dr d saw me at work and said what r u doing here? i thought u went int labor. i said no.. apparently not. i thought my water broke and i got checked by dr w and he said it did but other hosp said no..
so he says oh just peed yourself? and starts laughing like a maniac... i said no.. i said you know dr d we dont call you dr d short for dr dxxxxx. we call you dr d cuz it stands for douchebag.. he said thats cold liz...
kate standing at the tv at my mils and says theres the tv. the tv is my friend it talks to me....
rob went to walmart to get me a pair of sweats.
so apparently there was a run on sweats and there were none. so he brought me back a pair of furry (yes i said furry) pants that are white and huge with pink cupcakes on them. kate saw the bag and thought they were for her. she pulls out a huge pink shirt that has eeyore on it and the cupcake pants. rob says oh those r for mommy. kate starts crying. and im holding her and i say its ok honey mommy wants to cry too.
rob was all offended needless to say.
we had the laundry done in queens by this little guatemalen woman whom i had to pull out my manny - spanish for.
so the laundry was not only $27.. which is cheap b/c we had alot of laundry - it came back impeccably folded with kates outfits all matched up. so rob taking it all out and his shirts are all folded like fro m the store.. and i saw and said wow lupe (not her name.. i dont know honestly) did a good job.
so were repacking and i said i like lupe..
i say to rob have u seen my headband? he says no but i bet lupe knows where hers is. so i said oh nice.. r u trying to say lupe is a better wife than me? so he says no but im considering hiring her as our maid...
rob started to kiss me as he said it so i smacked him in the face and he said no foreplay now...
i guess due to the weather and cell towers being down our service is screwed up. i saw jen called me and i avoided the call. so then i tcame thru i had a voicemail. well then it said i had 7. so im like what? so i listen and i can tell theyre old.
like over the last 2 weeks. so one of them is from the nite of the storm and i went to the hosp.. and its my mom saying that shes sorry she cant be with me but everythings going to be ok and theyll get there as soon as i can and on and on. i shudve saved it it was so weird (and supportive?) to let soemone else hear it cuz it was honestly like ok.. where my mother? and what have u done with her?
i dont know what to make of that..
thoughts on that?
yeah as i heard tmm s neighborhood isnt under water.. so he didnt drown...
so now what? i want him to text and for me to ignore him. i know thats selfish. but i still want it anyway.
and dr b is pissing me off. he shud be much more interested in me. now i have to hurt him.. emotionally of course. and really twist the knife on him..
i dont know if ive told you but to me i havent seen any out side help. which i guess is good. like we havent seen the national guard. we havent seen the red cross. we didnt seen any power trucks or the police much either. its like our town was kind of wrecked but not really. its sad to see peoples houses that you know they just replaced this or that or they just built that deck with their brothers and it got ripped off or crushed. its sad to see these huge trees from when the houses were built in 1950 to be ripped up by the roots.
and weve been freezing and without food and hot water.
yest was the 1st time i saw anything going on. 1st i saw out of state power trucks and they worked like 4 or 5 hrs.. and then 2 hrs after they left we had power...
we went to dinner and when we drove back we saw a tent city where all the utility workers are staying now.
then we saw the red cross. they had disaster relief trucks. and for some reason i just felt so sad. i was driving and crying with kate and rob in the back seat. i guess it could just be hormonal but i never thought the redcross would be at our shopping center. like. does that mean we are a disaster? whe they didnt come 1st i thought where r they? and then i thought well were noyt that bad. well make it thru. n with kate being freezing cold to the touch despite being bundled and the ice showers and no milk.. i said well theres people i work with who lost their house. literally.
but the redcross trucks did it. i dont know if its hormones or what but it hit me then.
I am so glad you finally have power. That is sooo hard to live without. And, I would not worry about what the relatives bought or did not for you. The key is that the power is back on and you can turn on lights and not freeze your butts off. Anything that your family says about what they did or did not do at this time is immaterial now. You are back and are once again, independent. I read about bil and Joan. What a mess. They are supposed to be helping you and instead they decide to fight in your car. (don't you have the rare CRV option, ejector seat? I use it all the time. lol) I really am not surprised though that you feel totally spent and emotionally and physically drained. You just went through a hell of a time and had to hold it all together. No wonder your nerves are fried. And yes, a fireplace that is not used that often will smoke and smell, sometimes even invisibly and it does hurt your nose and throat. I have one that we use everyday in the winter. They can really kick up the upper respiratory symptoms. Loved your comment to dr d by the way...deserved it they did. The peed yourself comment really was pathetic, small humor. Whatever you might have said, I think it was deserved.
Well, Kate: The TV is my friend it talks to me. At least you know she is normal, personification of objects is just so common at her age. But it is funny as heck!
Remind me not to let Rob buy my clothes in a disaster. I know he meant well, but even I know enough not to buy that combination! And you feeling like crying as kate is crying, but for a totally different reason is just hysterical.
The scene with Lupe and getting a new wife and no more foreplay...that may have been my favorite of the moments mentioned, although they are were really funny. I mean liz, if you can't laugh at all of this insanity how could you keep it together? It is jut all too much without a sense of humor.
What do I think of your mother leaving a supportive voice mail...like a real mother. Heck I said what you did just as I read it. Where did your mother go and who are you. My thoughts? I am not sure I have any on this. That is so uncharacteristic of her that I hardly know what to think. Maybe the storm affected her mood. It is said that exposure to tropical originated air is actually mood stabilizing (seriously). But even that isn't enough to explain mom's sudden mood stabilization.
I might give TMM a chance to catch up on text. Who knows what cell tower or issue may have prevented him from texting you. He isn't going to go away I can tell you that. He is way too obsessed. I would wait a week or two. I'll bet he texts you something about being okay.
Is your place a disaster worthy of Red Cross trucks and so forth? Well, it sure looks that way on TV. People know that you and Jersey really got pounded. It is everywhere on the news. And we hear that out of state help is in NJ and NY and that people are trying to help the poor NY'ers. Well, yes...I would say that your area is in need of support, but I also know that protocol dictates that the red cross and others sometimes show up even when they are no longer needed. So, take heart that they are there and I think it is really something to see that you are not alone. I mean everybody is pulling for you. And, seeing those trucks...how could that not touch you? You lived this liz, and it was anything but easy. You survived a major natural disaster and showed some serious fortitude. I admire you and respect what you have been through and how well you handled it. That may sound corny, but it really is true. Steven
i m getting ready to go to work, and i really dont want to go. it is my official last week. i feel i shud go as im due the sat after thanksgiving and well i dont think im going early honestly. even though shit i shud be.
its harder for me to put my shoes and get dressed and i need assist which is frankly embarassing. i have peeps i can ask at work to tie my shoe again but essentially im a tyrann\sarous rex now. like with little arms.
i told rob its hard for me to work and he said i know honey but that was it. i mean i want the weeks pay i admit. im hoping they just put me in traige. i was all week last week but that was cuz i had no assignment b/c peter thought i wasnt going to come back apparently. i dont know what he did for thsi week. if he gives me a team itll be too hard and ill have to go out cuz.. well i know i cant do it.
i hate to be whining all the time honestly. i dont want to ask for help and i feel embarassed as im not pretty preg, just really preg.
another good story was on the way home from the in laws i saw a relatively short line for gas on the grand central. i had less than half a tank and i pulled in front of highwy cop in queens - and if you cant fit inot the line b/c it will block traffic - they make you leave. so i pulled in with my ass of the minivan kind of hanging out and i pulled all the way up and he said nothing. im on the line and we get up to part of it that theres a tree down. well people are straddling the line by pulling up next to the tree branch being in the left lane where people are doing 70 mph. so i decide i have 2 yr old sleeping in teh car and im preg and im not egtting hit standing still by 70 mph by a car going by. the other cars pull back inot the line and i sit waiting that the line will move up. and when i can fit wait for an opportunity for a clearsecond to pull out inot the left lane and go back into the line. well soemones leaning on the horn. im looking aroubd and i cnat tell until i see th guy jump out of his car and come running up (im watching him in my mirror.. no one cant tell you im not street steve... and i see he has nothing in hsi hand. and no one els ein the car.) he starts screaming at me in the minivan (which kate calls mommy vans now...) i put my window down and he says somones going to cut the line!!!! and i say i have a sleeping 2 yr old and im 9 months preg and im not getting hit. if soemone cuts the line ill f**king deal with it. the hwy cop comes running up and says whats going on and i tell him he camee running up to yell at me etc and he tells the guy get back in your f**king car. the cop says are you ok? and i said yes. and explain with my window put donw i have a 2 yr old and im preg and im npot getting hit. he said no prob. and he said if soemone cuts the line hell come and deal with it and not to do anything. i said i didnt plan on confronting anyone. he said youre the 1st person not to go out inot the lane and i said yeah well whatever.. i dont get it...
got my gas though.
yeah i want to throw the cupcake pants outfit out but i want to keep it to show people. im torn right now.
anyway have to scoot to get to work, ans you in the am.
You watch way too many kids shows. That line from Meet the Robinson's about the T Rex and the short arms is classic.
But I do get what you mean about not feeling too wonderful about work and just wanting to get this whole thing over with. At this point, with just a week left you may get pity placement, something in triage that allows you to work...but either way you did a heck of a job with this pregnancy, the stress at work, natural disasters and the rest. Really: It is pretty impressive. So if you find you cannot do it, simply because it is too hard...you have nothing to feel badly about. You did better than great. You hung in there!
Don't you just love the way people act in times of crisis and need? A guys gets out of his car to yell at and possibly assault a pregnant woman in a mini-van with a young child in the back.
What a man. At least the cop supported you, but really...this kid of behavior is so juvenile and is so common. You would not believe the number of court appointed counseling sessions that there are because some guy (always a guy) loses his temper and starts screaming at a woman. Where were these guys raised? I can tell you it wasn't in a descent place. No man treats a woman like you were treated who had any level of parenting. Wow...I am so sorry that happened to you. That is scary, even if he didn't have something in his hand. Wow.
You have to keep the cupcake pants Liz. It's a pathetic memory and those are the best and most fun. It is worth a serious laugh in a few years. I would keep it. Steven
hey steve. i had an assignment last night... not a huge heavy one i admit. but it was kind of enough for me. if it was a reg day it wouldve been a cake walk...
i was mad i admit that 4 of u were triaging b/c it was super busy and i was the one pulled. terri was sick n i said let terri go home and the other girl had to leave at 3am - i said to terri im fne with us being 2 of us for 4 hrs. no big deal. but pete said no. terri gave me the message of my having to go the back (i actually wondered if he just told her someone needed to go back and i was the lucky asshole honestly b/c shes all tight with rose ad thats who else was there with her. i may be paranoid as they say but i felt like i didnt fit into the club. the mean girls club..)
so i said not a word to any one honestly as my throat/ lungs are burning badly from the fireplace still and the 9 month preg thing and the sinus headache. i have no proof or anything to lead me to think this baby will be early and im afraid ill be late actually. im due sat the 24th. if i go into that week and dont have the baby and end up with a c section i wont have enuff time cuz ill be using it at the front end. i cant be off more than 2 wks before the babys born b/c i need 8 to be home for a c section. otherwise ill lose my health ins and my job position etc. so if i work this week itll cover me til sun of next week start to count as time off b/c ill have fulfilled this week. they cant say im on leave. its my reg days off. essentially ill have to talk him into inducing me or sectioning me or something that week. so i cant take this week off and take the chance. i actually was thinking maybe i shudve put that id work the week of thanksgiving. even if its 2 days and a vacation day.. itd save me that week and id be in the clear. im seeing the reg ob wed after work. thur nite at the hi risk for the sono. i figure i cud call fri to find out if i cud come work if theyre saying like uh youre no where close to signs of delivery.
then again maybe i can talk him into something but i really doubt it as hard headed as my ob is being.
i told peter can u pls put me in triage for my last 2 nights? he said i dont know where i put you but tomorrow youll def be triage. i said peter come on (and this why i dont want to go back next week..) i said im at the mercy of the charge nurse and have to take whatever assignment they give me. b/c im not on the schedule. he said well i thought you were going out. i said yeah but i called u the next am and told u id come back that nite. he said well i thought it was a fluke. i said well ive been here. id call u when something changes.
so i dont know what to expect honestly tonight. i cant sleep due to my back pain and still feel like crap and know i need to come in. and just eat it.
meanwhle i feel like asking are we going to wait til this kids 20 lbs?
as crazy as it sounds and im not much into taking chances - i was ready to fist fight that guy at the gas station. i wasnt even that angry. it was just like f**k you. really. drop dead like i havent been thru enuff. leave me the hell alone. i didnt do something awful.
nypd is always good at ok everyone calm down... nassau county is like ill blow your f**king head off. and suffolk just doesnt give a damm ive noticed.
i talked with dr b more last night - he came to say goodnight n see you tonight and he said he did come to my hosp baby shower but it was later - he was busy when the surprise happened - he said i have responsibilities!!! i said oh right i forgot how i sit around and do nothing when he said you werent there. i said well i have responsibilities too. i cant leave terri in triage by herself. i stayed like 15 min or so and i said let me get back out there...
dr b said i know thats why good nurses like u and terri are in triage. i said im not really ever out there... which is true.
well im going to try to lay down for an hr and rest a little before the big nightmare of tonight begins
Sometimes the feelings that one gets about being left out of the "club" are there simply because it is true. The dynamics of your workplace have changed with Rose and Dr a being an item. Combine that with Peter and his do what it takes to make the place run and damn the bodies left behind attitude and you have a whole new place of work. I do not doubt that things like work assignments and who gets pulled for what gets a bit crazy for a while. It isn't you. It is how the place is changing.
As you do not know when the baby will come I do not see a problem with trying to work as much as you can at this point. True, the pregnancy is considered higher risk but the baby is nearly full term now and as long as you can do it, and that is the question, why not? The more time you can bank in a positive direction for the maternity leave, the better. And, I am with you. I do not see this being a natural delivery. You seem to have c section in your future. Just call it previous experience with my own children as well as your feelings about it as well. I just hope that Peter will cooperate with work assignments.
Dr b and his excuses...well, he is a friend, just a lousy liar.
Listen, we need to start a new thread. This one is too long at this point. Steven