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Hi, my husband allows his mother to make negative comments about to me. He says that's it's just her way of talking and that she doesn't mean anything by it. However, i do feel quite hurt by her comments. He also tells her everything that goes on, sometimes about us but mostly behind my back but mostly with our financial dealings and things that go on in our daily decision making. She is one of those "always advice giving" and knows everything about everything which is really tedious when you have to deal with her on a daily basis, as we do because she had to skype everyday even though this was not the case when my husband lived alone but now that he is married she sees it fit. She is also very mean to my mother which I do not understand. On our wedding day, she told her that my husband would never refer to her as "mom" as this is customary in our culture. It is also an insult. When he confronted her, she said she did not mean for it to be insulting and this is actually her remark for everything that he has asked her and he accepts it and thinks that I need to forgive and just let her be because it is his mother. I have come to the point where I cannot ignore it anymore. I do not want to be rude to her. We had an "open communication" session once, just me, him and her and I explained to her how I felt and she totally negates that she is ever in the wrong...infact she gave us a self fulfilling prophecy of how good she and her intentions always are. I had to live with her for two years, without my husband as I migrated to Canada to live with him but because of his job and we didn't quite settle in, he suggested that I stay with her. Even though I was not in favour and asked him several times for me to move as I knew it would be better for everyone's health, he refused as he thought the financial benefits were much more valuable that my mental health of having to put up with her everyday. We have finally moved 18 hours away and she is still in my life everyday. I am not saying that she is a bad person or that I want my husband to hate her, because i would be upset if the shoe were on the other foot so to speak as both our moms are single parents and we cherish them. I just want him to admit that she has hurt me, and that it is not okay for her to constantly "put me down" even infront of him while he allows it to slide or completely denies that she even said it! While I lived with her, she constantly told people that I shouted at her and she even told me that I caused her sugar to raise so high that she could have died.I do not want to be the cause of his mother's illness as I know how important it is to take care of our mothers but it has come to the point where I can no longer taker her criticism quietly.....I am even beginning to despise my husband for not sticking up for me...thing is, I can't change him or his attitude towards this....What do I do?
Am I being too stubborn? I just want a diplomatic way of dealing with this as she is very conniving and can really play games with your head. She is very concerned about her always looking like she is the good one.
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