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It sounds like your relationship with this person may be a challenge with her mother "guarding" her.
yeah its crazzy
and im not sur why shes doin it
You have lots to talk to her about I'm sure- yes would drive one "crazy"
Do you have any information about this- other than her mother is trying to prevent the contact?
so i don't know if i shouldd jus go over there? i hav an idea why, but its jus a guess
My best guess is her mother is trying to "protect" her from "something"?? What do you worry about in going over there?
i dont know for sur if she told her aboutt what kind of rellationship?
i dont want to go over and her mmom to freak out
the otherr thing is i was in the hosp for psych reassons but so was she
Did you agree to stay in contact once you left the hospital? Right you don't want to make it more difficult- if her mom were to be upset. Is it fair to say you were both in a vulnerable state being in the hospital?
yeah we made all kinds of pllans
but i thinkk it wouldv been the same if we had met outside the hosp?
I can only imagine her mother wants to keep a close watch on her since she was in psych. hospital- not just from you but from anything. Yes you never know where you will meet someone special.
shes over 18 tho so i dont know why shess lettin her mom do this too
As difficult as it may be try not to take it too personal- her mother does not know you- does she? How long have you been apart? Maybe she depends on her mother for emotional, financial etc. support
no her mom only met me like 1 time and when we wer in there. we have been apart about a month now
Her mother has probably been through a lot with her with her mental health and such- I could see how her mother would be "overly" protective.
i dont want to giv up on this thoughh, i really do like her and it was very speciall not just about physical
Her mother may have concerns that she met someone in the hospital- but it's all guesses right? That's what's so hard about this. What has your contact been within the month? She may be settling back into her life- adjusting back- since her discharge.
i havnt been able to talk to her on th e phone bt some contact with facebook
but then thats stoppped and i think her mmom found that too
If it's "meant to be" and she has mutual feelings for you- she will find a way to get in touch- I know it's really hard though- the waiting and wondering- but try to think positively- even though you don't know for sure what's up.
Maybe give it a bit of time- time for her to show her mother she's stable
ok, thats hard tho
i want too see her so badly
Yes- I bet her mother is watching her closely- especially if she is still concerned and worried about her- her mother is probably afraid, wants to protect her don't you think?
yeah she prob does but keeping her from me isn't healthy eithher is it?
i mean i was ther for her complletely,
Yes- it sounds like she means a lot to you- maybe helped you through stuff in the hospital- good support- I'm sure you would want to talk to her. She will have to work that out with her mom- she may not want to tick her mother off either- she may be in a tough, stuck spot- being dependent on her mother. I think she probably appreciated your help. She will have to set those boundaries with her mother since she is an adult.
Do you think she knows you have been trying to get in touch?
i think she prob does, i told her i wasnt goin to leave or disappear out of her life when we left
and we leftt on the same day
How have you been doing otherwise since out of the hospital? I hope good- things must have been tough for you- sorry about that- but hope it's better. Trust that she knows you are there- that you helped her and supported her, and you want to continue to do so.
ive been doin okay, exceptt for maybe the meds?
This does make it more challenging for you emotionally I bet- of course! It's important for you to have support to. Continue to work on your healing.
Meds can be tricky- yes
its jus that i hate them, prob not goin to cont them, if i could just see her i know i wouldnt need meds too
This will be a test for you- see if you can stay strong- patient, optimistic. If you can't talk to her- you could write- write as if you are talking to her- not even that you send it- just an outlet to process this.
ok thats a good idea, i do journnaling sometimes
Do you have good support? You need and deserve support- we all need support.
not a lot, but i do hav 1 really good guy friend, so thats all it is, just a friend
Yes- really try and work on your recovery- you don't want this to cause you to "lose" all you've worked for. Identify what has helped you the most and do that- like journal writing. Keep your friend close.
when i talkk to my fam it makes it worse so i dont usuualy
You will get through this- hopefully with contact from her-
I bet it's really hard being so close- an hour you said?
yeah onlyy an hr to drive there
Give it a bit of time- then consider trying to contact her. She may need to "show" her mother she's okay- that can take time for mom to trust- she's okay- esp. after being hospitalized.
we bothh deciided we wernt goin back to the hosp ever again
I think she knows you are there for her- sounds like you helped her and supported her when she really needed it- that's a good friend.
i tried to b ther and b strong to help her
The hospital is hard isn't it- stressful- intrusive- really in your business.
its horrible and it was my 2nd time, 8 wks of it
I'm sure you were a great help to her- and she knows you care. You were there when she needed someone the most.
It's really really important for you to stay on track- take care of you- so you stay stable-
why 8 weeks- that's intense!
Are you in therapy since you were discharged? I meant "wow 8 weeks- that's intense"
im trying to take care of thingss now, i don't know, it tookk awhille to get things right, and the meds, my thinking was pretty screwed up
yeah i hav therapy and a pyschiattirst
May be important to take the meds then- at least for now- or be open with dr. if you don't like them- or if they are not working. What to keep your thinking clear and healthy.
its back to normal now an not speeded up , not hearing thins
It's hard work but the therapy and treatment can pay off- you must be learning lots about yourself and life with your treatment. I'm glad it's back to "normal"- that's great!
i dont mind the appts, just keepin up with meds has always been hard for me
and they make thinkking slow, and sorta foggy
yes- not easy taking pills- but hey we want you healthy!!! Yes pills can help with some things but then there is uncomfortable side effects- have to weight the pro and cons.
and i wan to stay healthhy this timme around too for sure
As hard as this is- I think you have to be really strong, patient, keep positive, for both of you.
The journal writing may be a good outlet- or any other diversion you can think of to get your mind off the struggle.
yeah u r right, i stay and think too much
You deserve to be happy- as does she- but some of this she will have to decide how to handle with her mother- the gate keeper.
im not going to giv up on it, she woulld hav to tell me herslef she didn't want me
We all think too much- ok if it's productive and positive right!!?? Find ways to quiet your busy mind- finding things to relax you- even just a walk.
Yes- you won't know for sure until she enlightens you to what's going on-
i will try to do more , i stay a lone alot
Important sometimes to get out- careful to isolate too much- we are mammals we need other mammals:):)
When you find yourself thinking neg. that's your cue to do something- to change the course of your thinking- I'm sure you know all about this stuff- right!!
i think iv stayed alone a lot more since getting sick
Work hard in your recovery- it does take a commitment to work the recovery program- every day sometimes. You may need to find ways to be with others more- even if you don't "feel like it". Don't want you to slip and struggle again.
When alone and isolated is when we tend to think too much- okay if its' "productive" thinking right!!
yes ur exactly right, i hav to stop doin what keeps me going backwarsds
You are young- today is the first day of the rest of our life- I love that saying :)
Sometimes to go forward we have to do the opposite of what comes naturally.
thats a reallly good thoughtt
You are not alone- life school is very challenging- for all of us.
sometims i feel alone in my craaziness so thats good to hear
Because of what you have experienced- you know if you get really strong- you can be a helper- cuz you've "been there done that"
Many people who "help" others have been there done that- that's what makes them credible. They have been enlightened from the darkness-
thatss what i was tryin to b for her, and still could b if her mom woulld let me
but i understannd what ur sayin, it makes sense
You will be able to refer back to this once we are done- come back to this to remind you what we talked about. Yes you are a natural helper- sensitive- I can tell.
i really reallly appreciiate your time and help
But being sensitive can open you up for a bit more hurt too- need to be a lid on the sensitivity sometimes- a sort of protection. A lid you can open and close.
I'm glad to help- I'm really glad you posted tonight and send you lots of positive healing thoughts!!
and u r right about bein sensitiv i hav often wished i wasnt so much
Remember your strengths- so you can continue to build on those.
and i'm gllad i posted now too :)
Sensitivity is a strength but need to "protect" it too.
Let me know if I can help again- take the best care of you!!
thank u so much, i willl,,, and i can ask for u again if i need too?
As a therapist- I am honored to hear your story- thank you for that! Yes just start a question with "Jean N/20plus counts" they will then send your question to me.
ok perfectt, thanks again :))
I would really appreciate it if you rate my answer ok or higher so I can get credit Thanks so much! Jean
Jus wanted to let u know im feelin way better and u were really helpfull for me tonite, ty again
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