Thank you for writing in here.
It sounds like you are addicted to such sexual behavior. You are aware of your addictive behavior. So, you can change this addiction or sexual obsession.
Sex, food, internet pornography, and spending can all become addictive and, because of their unavoidable presence in one's life, abstinence is not always a solution.
Changing one's thinking and behavioral processes from addictive back to controllable and health is not easy, but often with help, can be accomplished.
You will need to learn to control the addictive, compulsive impulses and to retrain your thinking about sexuality.
Many adults with your problems may have dysfunctional beliefs like: "I am unlovable the way I am" "It is not possible to have my needs met with another person" "Sex is the most important need in my life" etc..
My point is, there may be some thought patterns that may cause or contribute to this type of addiction.
Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) can be helpful for you in changing your own maladaptive thought patterns that may continue to feed your addiction. You may find a psychologist specializing in CBT.
You may ask your doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that you can work with weekly. Or you may call your insurance company and get a list of providers (licensed psychologists or psychotherapists) in your area.
Or, you can search a licensed psychologist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as addiction. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy and addiction. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question and negotiate psychotherapy fee.
If you have no health insurance or seek a low fee counseling, you may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX (Dial 2-1-1)to find the community mental health centers in your area in which you can get counseling even without health insurance.
I wonder if you also have signs of anxiety
or depression. If so, mood problems may contribute to your addiction.
Also, a heart-healthy diet like Omega 3 fatty acid may improve your brain functioning and mood. Focus on fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Choose low-fat protein sources, such as fish, lean meat and skinless poultry. Hydrate yourself during daytime.
Physical activity increases blood flow to your whole body, including your brain. This may help improve your mood.
In addition, yoga, acupuncture, and massage therapy may be helpful to relax your body and mind. It may be easier for you to free from this addictive thoughts.
Other recommendations are:
Avoid excess use of alcohol and drugs.
Sleep in complete darkness and try to be out in bright light during the day.
Spend time in nature weekly
Have pleasurable activities with friends and family.
Choose to listen to sounds that have positive effects on your mood.
Set limits on the amount of time you spend on the internet to avoid information overload.
Please let me know if you have more questions after getting this answer. Best regards,